Reiki

Some time ago, Jack posted on one of his blogs that he doubted anyone could become a Reiki master over the weekend just by paying someone for an initiation.

When I took my first Reiki initiation, I posted here that I had become a Reiki practitioner. Someone took issue with that because he felt the term practitioner meant that I was accepting money from others. I meant that I was practicing Reiki on myself. 

I think the term Reiki Master generates the same issue. Most of us in the WMT think of the term master as meaning we have achieved a level of extraordinary proficiency. The master title for Reiki, as far as I can tell, is merely the ability to tap into that current to initiate others. It may have meant more at one time. Maybe it still does but no one told me I would have to do anything but show up if I wanted to be a Master. I have not done that. So, I could be totally or partially full of it.

I too thought for a very long time that Reiki was bullshit. However, I learned one of the most important magickal lessons through my initiation. The concept of non-ownership of the power or the results has improved all forms of my practice exponentially. Recently, I had an obvious and instant physical result with healing. I only reduced a small bruise to half of what it was but to do so in an instant was ONLY POSSIBLE because my ego was not wrapped up in that at the time of doing the work. I was able to drop my personality for just long enough to do that. Yes, I used things I didn't learn from Reiki but I believe that initiation provided access to something I didn't have access to before.

Maybe someday, I will actually be able to do something very meaningful with it. 

My point is that Reiki is not bullshit. There is something there. 

My second point is to the Nutty Professor. Fear of failure is the same thing as ownership. There is fear of not being capable, as if the power belonged to you. There is also a fear of not helping your family member. The latter is much more difficult to rid yourself of. In this case, may I suggest focusing on the idea that the result of your efforts is the Will of the Universe, God, or Gods, whichever view you hold. You are but an instrument of that power. Mother Theresa used to say that she is just a pencil in the hand of God. I think such an attitude may be of value to you.

Some Acts of Healing

Over the last few weeks, I have been working on healings. This is just a quick synopsis.

The Gentle Soul contracted a harsh stomach flu and strep at the same time. At one point, she was throwing up very often. Even though she was mobile, I was instantly able to end the vomiting. I could also tell she was terribly dehydrated. Anyone could have learned that through logic but this came during a very focussed time of healing and was seen. It wasn't logic at that point.

This occurred during my own illness as I had the same bug but a more mild form and didn't get the strep. I tried healings at other times and couldn't get past my own illness to help her.

This weekend, the Gentle Soul came to visit. She had a bruise under her fingernail from a sewing needle. The finger was also swollen. She complained that it was throbbing up to her elbow. I was able to stop the throbbing and instantly reduce the bruise to half the size. The swelling remained unchanged. Today, it only hurts when she bumps it. I will try again later.

Resolved Karma?

Long time readers have read about my back issues. I've spent most of my life since 1991 in some sort of pain. From it being very tolerable to debilitating.

About eight weeks ago, a friend told me about aspartame and how horrible it was for you. He went on to describe the unethical way it was approved by the FDA. I've heard the first part before. I've always ignored it. Suddenly, it made a great deal of sense and I simply stopped my Diet Pepsi addiction. I had twelve bottles here which sat for a month before I could give them away but I never drank one. Immediately my back was better. I no longer spend any time at all on Vicodin. I haven't had even a half a pill in seven weeks.

So, from a mundane angle, yeah it was the food additive. From a spiritual angle, that doesn't feel right. It feels as if I've paid a price for something. I can't explain that feeling. I can't defend it. It could be total bullshit.

I have had good period before but I've never had such a long period with zero pain.

It Isn't All Sweetness and Light but Just Maybe...

I believe it is important to think of things before the moment of truth. 

When I first entered the magickal arena, I was taught that magickal attacks are the fears of the ego. If you think you've been attacked more than a handful of times over the course of a career, you have some sort of personal problem. You may just be delusional. This is what I believed. 

Of course, this ignored some famous Golden Dawn history or at the very least minimized it. Then again, what else are you going to tell a neophyte? Yeah, it happens all the time and you are defenseless? 

Then I met Jason Miller. He talked of Hoodoo and Voodoo. He talked of malevolent spirits that can be offended. Heck, neutral spirits can do a lot of damage if you offend them. In short, he taught, humans can launch magickal attacks but that is not the only form. I am not going to go into all the subtleties. I suggest reading Miller's, Protection and Reversal Magick, if your curious about forms and causes of attacks or attack like conditions.

Most magickal people that I know that talk about magickal attack discuss defenses and reversals. Naturally, defending oneself is a basic right of life be you a magician or a mouse. A pacifist may simple deflect the thrust of an attack. A warrior may reverse it upon his attacker and proceed to launch a systematic series of attacks at the perpetrator as in enforcing his on three or ten-fold law. I am a firm believer that both responses are within the rights of the attacked. 

Normally, the conversation ends there. 

It doesn't end there for me. More is hinted at by Jason's teachings of making offerings. My inference from that is that can soften or resolve the volatile situation. So, why not defend oneself and then do additional work to resolve the issue? This turns the attacker from enemy to someone deserving of empathy, sympathy, understanding or caring. From a point of enlightened self-interest, reaching out to heal someone troubled enough to attack will prevent future threatening situations coming from that quarter. From a spiritual point of view, we just may be able to heal another part of the world. Chances are, if you don't kill or do a healing, the attacker will go after someone else. Maybe, many other people can be spared such an attack. I’m not much for killing. 

The problem with making that known is that the truly disturbed will just attack to get some healing benefit. Well, if you’re that whacked, maybe healing is just what you need. Then again, I believe in my own version of one-upmanship a certain percentage of the time as well. 

Ruthless Self-Analysis

A month or so ago, a close friend said he viewed ceremonial magick as a form of masochism. Recently, someone here reminded me of scrupolosity. If you haven't heard of that danger, click on the link.

I believe these terms are tossed about when strict self-analysis is observed from without. To be true, some may be a bit masochistic. I don't think I am. I don't like exposing my own flaws and trials. It can be painful, hard on the psyche and down right embarrassing. I remember telling Lon DuQuette that I hated reading old diaries because it is so embarrassing to look back and see who I was. He told me he writes in his diary every day and reads the previous entry each day saying "Boy, I'm glad I am not THAT guy anymore." This reflects growth not self-hatred.

Robert Wang said the work is a suicide mission for the ego.

Crowley said that love is the reason for this most ruthless analysis. Damn straight.

Someone doing the work should be feel responsible without being neurotic. They should self-analyze without being cruel. Killing the little personality (ego) is impossible and counter-productive as it has its uses. However, one should sublimate the little personality or direct its energy/urges in useful and beneficial ways.

So how?

Assume every thing that happens to you that you think is negative is true at least long enough to seriously think about it. If some friend of an ex tells you how badly you hurt someone ten years ago and you thought things ended as well as could be expected, go back over things. Think about it. Don't just reject it because you don't want to admit a negative thing could be true. Do this every time the world shows you something negative. Hard? Yes. Do most people want to do that? No.

When you think other people are doing something negative, look to yourself, have you ever done such a thing? Do you do it often?

This stuff is hard but if you want to climb the Tree, I believe it is necessary.

So, why didn't I mention the good stuff? We often think the little ego is good. Hey that jerk tried to beat me down and I stood up? Great. Good for you. What if he was right? The good stuff becomes apparent in time. Like a good fucking, the process is long, slow and hard. You should be dripping with sweat when its done. Completely. Utterly. Satisfied. You don't get there stroking yourself.

I Bought Some Magick

Some time ago, I bought some magick from Jason Miller. Frankly, it was a lark. Yes, I wanted to make more money but I didn't think a talisman from Jason was going to make me a rich man. I respect Jason's work and figured it would be interesting how the magick flowed.

It was a bit frustrating waiting for the talisman as I thought they were ready when sold and didn't need to be made. I waited some time. This turned out to be good because it provided a confirmation of effect.

A week before I received the talisman, a request arrived for me to do some magick. That work earned me the exact price of the talisman. That magick was mildly successful. I will be mailing the link back to that party soon.  The real force of the magick came as a drive to teach classes in Bakersfield and attend psychic fairs. From my proceeds, I have bought a projector which I would never have obtained otherwise. It will be used for future classes.

Overall, I'd say I will received 20 times the what I paid for the talisman. Note that the money didn't just show up. I earned it. I also had fun doing it. The added bonus was I learned a lot. I am fully confident in my tarot skills. I feel if I put as much effort into tarot as the rest of my magick, I'd be a master.

Today, I purchased one of Jason's DZAMBHALA WEALTH TALISMANS. At worst, it is already paid for by the other the one. At best, given that it has more than one effect, its value could be priceless.

I am endorsing Jason's magick. If you're not afraid of working for your money and your spirituality, may I suggest you pick one of these up? I think there are 7 or less left. If you buy one, please tell him you heard it from me. These are already made and ready to go.

Frankly, I can't imagine selling magick again. It changes the feel for me. I want to serve those I can because I want to not because I feel obligated. I also think that at the time, I wasn't fully  rid of grasping for a result and a happy customer. I'd do even better now but why? There are plenty of friends that need a helping hand.

Unrelated

Today, this blog reached an average readership of 200 people a day as averaged over 30 days. That is definitely a first time. Today set a record, as far as I know as I don't check every day, of exactly 300  reads in a day. This is from Blogger which has the most conservative numbers. This is dwarfed by the likes of Jason Miller and others but it is still fun for me.

Confession Time

There has been more discussion with the blogger I'd most like to meet, Ananael Qaa. Part of his last comment was this:

Moving on to the subject of this post, let me ask you this: do you seek union with the divine out of the sense that you are lacking something or out of the sense that you want to be more than you are now? It may seem like a semantic difference, but I think it's important. It's what I was trying to get at in my previous comments regarding whether or not magical motivations are fear-based.

I believe a good deal of my initial drive to unity with the divine was fear-based. It stemmed from the idea of not being good enough. I have no idea where that came from in my life. I do know naming that fear answered a question I've had for a long time as to why I have such an adverse reaction to Christianity and religion in general. My perception of Christianity has always been that it is a religion of telling you that you are not good enough. The starting point of life is that you deserve to be in hell for the crime of being born. You will always be unworthy of God, unless you say these words, confess to Jesus and give this priest a dollar. This is also a problem I had with Trad Wicca in a different form. 


Let's please not have a debate on Christianity.


So, this fear of not being good enough, drove a great deal of personal alchemy. I wanted to meet my end by saying that, pass or fail, I always made an effort towards the higher. So, the above religious experiences, perceptions and attitudes hit that fear and I responded like a wounded animal.


At some point, that went away. Now, it is really based on love, service and being more than I am now. That to may be a bad way of saying it. I believe we are fully who were are right now. We have just forgotten.


All that said, I still have serious issues with Christianity and those that evangelize in my direction. I am just much more willing to walk away.

The Sense of Place

Over the years, I have mentioned my goal is unity with the divine. Some of told me they have no idea what I mean. I remember Patrick Dunn being one of those. To me it is a simple drive.

Perhaps a good analogy of the past might be a young person dreaming of being married. The possibility is very real even though they haven't met Mr. or Ms. Right yet. I suppose I wanted the close personal relationship with whatever I conceived of as the divine.

Now, it is more like finding an exact sense of place. It is being in the place where the universe moves and you move right with it. For good, bad or indifferent, you're in the right place, doing the right thing. This isn't a moral sense of right. Its is more along the line of being within the continuing unfolding of the universe. This may be riding the edge of the ever developing god-fractal.

Somehow these thoughts dovetail within my discussion with Ananeal Qaa in the comment section of the previous post. There we are discussing the nature of motivation. He believes that there is no real subconscious form of motivation that all we have is conditioned responses. I believe in the subconscious and conditioned response. I also believe in karma, reincarnation and a host of little philosophies that all dovetail into one thing.

There is an exact place to be, exact actions to take. Whatever that place is, I want to be there.

I now know Gods exists. I have relationships with Them. Sometimes, it is as close as a marriage. Maybe even closer. It is one hundred percent honest and open. It is intimate. There is no fear. There is expansion. Love. There is a form of truth, with a capital T, but don't ask me to define that and don't assume that some sort of dogma. This is as being there as I can get.

The goal now is a mundane equivalent. Some  say that is impossible. Yeah, well some say meeting a god is impossible too.

The Power We Seek

It is in vogue nowadays to simply admit that occultists are after power. Many claim they are only after lofty spiritual goals. Well yeah, what is the difference?

I know a woman that is a hoodoo practitioner. She'll curse you into next week if she wants. She'll bless you too. She makes no apologies. I like her. She is upfront and honest about what she does. Generally speaking, she is a nice person with a good heart. Though, I would suggest you don't mess with her. She is controlling her mundane world. Is this the application of power or a band-aid over her fears?

There are monks that sit on sharp pointy rocks in some cave or monastery and contemplate Jesus, Buddha, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster. They control their mundane world by shutting it out. Is this fear or a higher purpose? What do you think they'd call it? I call it both.

I practice theurgy. I want to be as good a human being as I can possibly be. This is a noble goal. Bullshit. It is fear like anything else. Noble or not, what am I afraid of?

When people do magick, even with the highest of goals, divine union or whatever it is we tell ourselves, it is best to ask a question. What fear is this act soothing? Afraid to ask that question? Then you are so fearful that you are afraid of your own answer. How much more afraid are you of the reality behind that answer? The oracle at Delphi said Know Thyself. That statement has endured for one reason. It is necessary. Utterly. Completely. Necessary.

There are smaller magicks. Magicks that are cast because we are defensive, pissed off, feeling small or out of control. When people do these magicks, they aren't asking the question, what do I fear? They are telling themselves that they are justified. They aren't putting band-aids on their fears. They are masking pains they cannot face. This is a work of the smallest thing on this earth, their monstrously huge egos. These people don't have the courage to ask what they are afraid of but the rest of us know. We know.

I know what I am afraid of. Do you know your fear?

Pain of Others (editorial rant)

You may have noticed, that I'm not exactly pro-Christian. However, I notice a great deal of pagans behaving in a questionable manner. They are making fun of tomorrow's rapture. Won't they feel dumb if it actually happens?

More importantly, how are they going to feel Sunday when it doesn't happen? The people that believe will be in spiritual shock. Pain. Confusion. True, some will tell themselves the little lies necessary to return to normal. Others will not. This is not something to laugh at.

Will these pagans be laughing if someone commits suicide over this? Will they be laughing when children don't have a home because mom and dad sold it? Will they be laughing because kids no longer have respect for their parents because of listening to a false prophet? What if this turns into a Heaven's Gate situation or even worse a replay of Jim Jones? Both of those are very unlikely but still, it could.

Pagan and magickal beliefs are laughable to many people. I don't like being laughed at, do you? I am sure most of these people are sincere seekers of God. I see little wrong with that, save the evangelism part.

I am all for severity when it is deserved/earned. I think now is the time to have mercy in our hearts. These people will be hurting and embarrassed come Sunday. I hope the pagan community can behave a little better when this has past than they have as it approached.

Sphere of Sensation?

Warning: I have no idea what I'm talking about in this piece. I cannot explain it. I am struggling with this one.

The last time I worked with Flower, Hermes and HD, my meditation yielded a mantra, as usual. The mantra defines the working. For instance, if the wor unify appears, we will get closer to something. If the word, lesson appears, we will be guided toward a lesson or have a past lesson explained or enhanced. I don't control what mantra is used. We don't even write them down. We just go with the spontaneous utterance, which I feel is supplied by Them.

The difference was that during the mantra generation process something snapped. I don't mean broke. I mean snapped into place. What that was is a matter of conjecture. I define it as a part of myself but what specifically I don't know. In an instant a circle expanded from my center and enclosed my partner. When that happened "I" was not the center of the circle but resided near an outer edge just like Flower did. The center was between us. The mantra took on a more inclusive form as well. This happened again, although more consciously, with the Witch the next day.

I've been in a couple of mundane group situations since where this circle snapped out of me and surrounded the group. I am tempted to think of this as the Sphere of Sensation talked about in the GD world except for two things. The first is that I've never had a clue what they are talking about. The second is that I get no sensations from the other people when this happens.

If any of you have experienced anything like this. I would appreciate hearing from you.

Reconcilers

Today I did a mental review of the lessons brought about by various initiations and magickal practices. They soon fell into pairs of opposites. I won't bore you with the list. I am fond of the phrase there are two opposing forces and one that reconciles them. I used to look for all sorts of things to reconcile apparent opposites. I have realized that there are a few reconcilers that can always apply: Love, Compassion, Place.

The first two should be self-explanatory.

A sense of place is understanding exactly where you are and how your karma has brought you to a given point. One has a tendency not to fight the forces of the Universe or the mundane world when you know that. It also has the advantage of removing the emotional angst so you can correctly perceive the situation and apply proper discernment.

The Qabalistic Scheme I Use

Ananael Qaa asked about my particular view of the qabalistic universe in the following comment to a previous post:

Do you use a different set of attributions for the Qabalistic worlds than the standard Thoth arrangement? If so, is it something you would be willing to share? As I recall in the standard arrangement Binah and the threes are in Briah but I always have wondered about the whole of the Creative World being attributed to a single sphere while Yetzirah spans 6 of them.

I could see a possible alternative arrangement in which Atziluth is above the Abyss, Briah is between the Abyss and the Veil of Paroketh, and Yetzirah is from the Veil of Paroketh through Yesod, leaving Assiah in Malkuth. Is that the sort of arrangement you work with? If so I would be very interesting in hearing how well it works with the GD forms, since I've never gotten around to trying it out for myself.

I have never seen Binah stand for all of Briah. I would like to see you write a bit about your model. 

The arrangement I use shows three sephira in the first three worlds and one inf the fourth. The pips are placed on the tree in the sephiroth according to their numbers. The threes for instance, are in the third sephira of Binah.   

 Atziluth  is comprised of Keter, Chochmah and Binah, the three top most and are often called the supernals. Briah is formed by Chesed, Geburah and Tipereth. Yetzirah contains Netzach, Hod and Yesod. Malkuth is the only sephira in Assiah.

You will notice in this arrangement the abyss is never delineated. Though, Daath often is. It is placed between Yetzirah and Binah. I have wondered if Daath was acting as the Abyss. While Daath solves the curious problem of the placement of Saturn, it is somewhat unsatisfactory. Once you move it, what is left behind in Binah? Does Pluto suddenly appear? Neptune? I don’t know.

I realize that planets are not sephiro but a subset of those vast realms.

This has always been an intellectual problem for me but not a particularly bothersome one. For it hasn’t caused a hiccup in my workings. If I ever cross the abyss in some definable way or visit Daath, I will hopefully have a better, more informed, opinion.

The arrangement I use is pretty standard in Golden Dawn style texts, I haven’t read much of the standard Thoth arraignment, which I should.  Here is how things don’t work out when you’re a GD type person using a Thoth deck.

I have found myself on various paths during astral work. At times, I didn’t intend to go there but there I was. I knew where I was because the Rider-Waite or Wang images would be there telling me where I was. Why not Thoth? It is my only deck of choice.

My mentor has simply told me that Thoth takes you to slightly different places. I assume since I am in the GD egregore, it gives me the corresponding images. I plan at some point in the future to use the corresponding cards in the same ritual format and see how the different locations work. I just haven’t done that yet. It is a long standing itch that I haven’t scratched as other things seem more important.

As I recall in the standard arrangement Binah and the threes are in Briah but I always have wondered about the whole of the Creative World being attributed to a single sphere while Yetzirah spans 6 of them.

I am talking out of my ass here but that sounds like a bit of confusion with the parts of the soul. The Supernals make up the higher self or immortal soul. That is broken up into three parts, which isn't pertinent to this discussion. The Ruach or personality is made up of the sephiroth between Chesed and Yesod (and sometimes include Daath). Yesod does double duty as another part called the Nephesch, which gets us into all sorts of trouble. The G'uph or physical body is in Malkuth. Does that correspond to your system in some way?

I asked because Yetzirah is associated with air and Ruach means air in Hebrew.  

I am not sure what you mean by how it works with GD forms. If you clarify, I will be happy to answer.

Willful Creation

More and more of my magickal practices are being defined by my interpretation of the Three of Wands.

The wands are always about some version of creative force. The threes exist in the qabalistic world of Atziluth, the creative plane, the realm of gods and the One, Logos or whatever you want to call it. Personally, I view the One as a bit further back beyond even our poor conception of this world but that is another rant altogether.

The threes exist in Binah, the sephira of Saturn, time, restriction, form. Binah is also the seat of the Lesser Neschemah, that part of us that is connected to all things. The lesser Neschemah is part of our immortal soul as well, sometimes called the Greater Neschemah.

This makes the 3 of Wands the Creative part of the soul properly restricted into a form and temporal space and thus suited to our incarnative purpose. Yes, I just made up the word incarnative. Deal with it. Given this definition, I must live within that personal space or strive for it. As a friend and I were discussing, it is amazing how freeing such restriction can be.

The esoteric name of the Three of Wands is the Lord of Virtue.

These ideas are now being combined with the ideas from the Magus of Strovolos.  He believed that in our lives we create elementals. Those elementals are our consistent thoughts. Even after we evolve past them, those elementals are alive, seek to continue living and do influence our lives in a similar manner to karma. They do this until we burn off their energy and links to ourselves. This idea resonated with me.

I have begun consciously choosing which elementals to create as I begin my day. Peace, love, compassion, laughter and the like. I create them in my mind, attach them to my aura and ask them to release themselves during my interactions with others. I really don't care whom they go to or when for two reasons. The first is that I didn't control where my negative elementals went. Secondly, if one is truly sending peace, love, compassion and laughter, it seems counter productive to control who gets to receive them. Releasing such things should be done in a selfless manner.

Water Water Everywhere...

I am dealing with some serious water (emotional) issues on more than a few fronts. Those issues have manifested physically as follows:

• Water meters were installed by the city in my neighborhood last week. We are the last city in the state to get them.
• Just before that, I noticed dirt in my tap water on rare occasion. I have a line that needs repaired.
• I am working to install drip irrigation in the backyard, which was a long held plan
• My kitchen faucet is falling apart and needs replaced.
• A house cleaner broke the stopper mechanism in my bathroom sink.
• I gave up Diet Pepsi due to aspartame. Now I drink one cup of coffee in the morning. Ninety percent of the rest of my liquid intake is water.
• I have to literally apply frozen water to my arm as I have tendinitis. 

Emotional correspondences include

• The sudden death of my father.
• A new girlfriend (that part is fun and fulfilling)
• The Medusa issue I am dealing with
• Being humbled at work
• the revisiting of a host of issues from past lodge work from both sides of the plate
• odd comments from friends that hit home like sledge hammers that aren't intended to
• fears for the health of a friend
• hearing about a dying man nearly daily at work
• An acute sense of the need to be fully self-reliant in areas that I've had assistance before
• The highs of some of the most unifying magick I've ever done. This shouldn't be interpreted as jumping for joy highs but more of a quiet satisfaction with those workings.

Lately these issues have been exacerbated by magickal work. The Helpful Deity and Hermes brought me so high twice that it really stretched my emotional ability to handle the change. I am trying really hard to be expressive with the Gentle Soul but the rest of these things are forcing me inward. Worse, I contacted my egregore to make sure I was on the right track and found myself in mid-river. In a way that was good as part of what I learned by dipping in those waters was immediately confirmed. In a way that was bad because the last thing I feel I want is more water in my life.

That said, I feel the strong push to revisit the path of death ritually and seek its highest climbs. Doing that at this point seems both insane and the right thing to do.

EDIT: The path of death is Scorpio and there are three symbols to Scorpio. If I do that path again, it will be the third time. Scorpio is also a very secretive sign. There are some personal emotional secrets I am learning.

The Most Important Skill of the Magician

My buddy Jack gave me a very small and polite poke when he said the problem with theurgists is that they tell you why they do things but not how. I suppose this is true. This space really isn't really about Golden Dawn style tech, which is my main training. Those techniques can be found on blogs and printed material far and wide. The problem with that is that most of it is adopted quite randomly and few that learn that way experience a full corpus. There is a lot of value in experiencing how that tech weaves itself together. Such things cannot be adequately communicated on a blog. I will come back to that point in the final paragraph.

That said, I will share with you some tech. Learn to concentrate. Every technique that I have ever took the time to develop with any sort of skill has worked just fine. Though, some worked better than others. Why? Those techniques work with my personality in such a way that my concentration is better. Every act of magick that I consider the 'best' I have done, has one thing in common. During the ritual or practice, my concentration was at its height. I can now do rituals outdoors with traffic noise and hear nothing physical at all. In returning to normal consciousness, there comes a point where it feels like someone turned on the sounds of the world again. All at once one hears the birds, cars, motor cycles, aircraft, children playing etc. 

There are lots of skills one should develop that will aid one in working various forms of magick. In my opinion, the one skill that crosses over into all forms of the WMT is concentration. It is the single most valuable skill of the magician. 

I give you this quote from the Researchers of Truth. The RoT is the group the Magus of Strovolos belonged to. 

If I have a magnifying glass and I concentrate a few rays of the Sun on a sheet of paper, it will catch fire. That's a phenomenon: concentration of the Sun rays through some means (the magnifying glass). Otherwise, the rays of the Sun are everywhere and we still feel cold. We have a cold Sun during the winter, yet a few of those rays can make a paper catch fire. Such is the Mind.

On that same page, you’ll find this:

The secret, now, is to use the Mind in the right way. We are using it in the wrong way now, definitely! And how: by enslaving the mind to serve so many petty unbridled desires, from morning to night! Desiring, desiring, desiring, changing the desires and thus enslaving the Mind to this or that desire to serve this or that emotion. And you call that life? That is not life! That is the way that makes a human being unhappy. What is the right way of using the Mind? And, what will the Mind, by using it in the right way, offer me? What is it offering me now by using it in this way? You'll have to study this.

The theurgist points the way but doesn’t direct the learning. This isn’t being secretive but respects the seeker’s ability to learn on their own in a manner that is best for that student. That skill of the teacher is much more subtle. 

Hermes, the Helpful Deity and Medusa

Thursday night, I called Hermes and the Helpful Deity with Flower. Last night, I called them with The Witch. Both nights, Hermes focused on them. From my mundane perspective, Flower was being coached from the inside out and The Witch from the outside in. Neither of these workings had anything to do with me until the end of each.

I documented the ten minute mental orgasm from Thursday night in my last post. This time, as the Witch was ready to end the rite, I was fixated on a vision of a goddess* with snakes for hair. I couldn't speak. Hermes had to explain to the Witch what I was seeing. Then he added, "He sees a threat that is not there." They conversed as to its meaning until Hermes said, "He has no idea what we are discussing," or words that effect. He was right. I was a complete blank. There was no thought process in my mind at all. It is hard to explain what it is like being conscious but having no thoughts. The Witch, who knows me well, clarified. I instantly got it. Though, my interpretation was different from hers, they are related.

My interpretation is that I see threats that are not there and by doing so, I turn my heart to stone.  In my teen years, I was socially paranoid. Later in life, I saw the contradictions in people's behavior and didn't trust them. Such things are both wise and foolish. Some people's contradictions reveal things that should be avoided. That doesn’t mean one should avoid the person. Everyone I have ever met has contradictions. To avoid all such people means you avoid all people. In this state the only people one is willing to be close to are those whose contradictions remain obscured. Later in life, this same issue resulted in contradictory ideas getting angry reactions. This is a response to a 'threat that is not there'. I've realized this in different terms previously but I like this phrasing better. It hits closer to home. My work life is the same, while not consciously, I see threats in certain situations that result emotional reactions that are not valid.

The Witch sees the conversation as relating to fears of goddesses in general or The Goddess. She has her examples to back up that point of view. I suppose things strike upon all levels.

During the rite, she asked Hermes something to the effect of "Why Medusa?" There was an implication this 'problem' was ancient for me and was caused many lifetimes ago. Hermes replied and I quote, "Every once in a while, some damn fool looks in the mirror." At first, I thought this was a statement about a mistake from lifetimes ago. Then, after a bit of remembering and research, I found that that Perseus slew Medusa by looking into a mirror so he would not be turned to stone in the process.

Then I found this on that bastion of truth, Wikipedia, "In most versions of the story, she was beheaded by the hero Perseus, who was sent to fetch her head by King Polydectes of Seriphos as a gift. With help from Athena and Hermes who supplied him with winged sandals, Hades' cap of invisibility, a sword, and a mirrored shield, he accomplished his quest." [My italics.] I had not known or had not remembered that it was Hermes that provided the mirrored shield. Perhaps, I too will benefit from divine aid as I take on this next challenge.

*Medusa isn't a goddess.

NSFW Mental Orgasm

My partner, Flower, and I called Hermes and the Helpful Deity last night. Most of the work involved Hermes aiding Flower in her personal growth. I will not comment on that.

At the end, I prayed to the Helpful Deity to expand my personality, to open my soul, to unify me with more of the universe. The prayer was uttered in an almost pleading style. After that, I am not fully sure what happened. I cannot say that I expanded nor can I say I had a greater awareness.

I can say that I stood there, hugging Flower, and had a ten minute mental orgasm. The pleasure was overwhelming. No physical emission occurred. Not to be too graphic but I did not even have an erection.

I vaguely recall a term for such a state of consciousness that may come from Yoga or Buddhism. If anyone knows that term, I'd appreciate being informed in the comment section.

Speaking of Success

Each Beltaine and Samhain I do a group divination for a Bakersfield Pagan Group. All during the ritual, I simply prayed to Hermes to say what they (or someone) needed to hear. At some point, I knew that I was to walk the circle as I talked and touch each member of the group. I wasn't sure why. Then I watched the person performing as May Queen do that and I realized I was the male counterpart to that. That told me I was on track for the evening.

When it came time for the divination, I spoke of the types of divination and how the divine could be found in all things. We can divine by cards, stones, runes etc or by watching a leaf fall. The same continuously unfolding pattern can be seen in everything as that pattern in, in a manner of speaking, everything. The card drawn was the Universe. It was very appropriate card to draw based upon what I had been saying. In fact, the real divination likely appeared before the card was drawn.

The real success was later. Naturally, all that praying brought me a little bit of Hermes. I could feel him softly. During the after party, I saw a face looking at me. It was more like a moon reflecting the light of the sun. I realized the beautiful and joyful gaze was not upon me but upon the divine force I was anchoring. Bringing the Divine to earth that others may witness and partake is truly the work of a successful magician.

Less Happy Things

On my way down to Bakersfield, I had to follow a hearse with a draped coffin inside. The gods do have a sense of humor don't they?

I learned today that a coworker's mate cancer has taken a turn for the worse. It doesn't look good.

It seems lessons on Death abound. I know in time I will be grateful for these lessons. Now, it is difficult. Though, even now, I can see how the Universe is weaving things together and it is awesome.

Different Lessons

Since my work walking the paths of the Tower, Death and Devil, I have noticed something. I've been continuously encountering other people acting out old attitudes of my own. Sometimes the behavior is quite poor. Other times, it is simply a reflection that I judge less harshly in others than in myself Still other times, it is a slap to the back of the head. "Do you understand NOW?" Other times I say, "That FUCKER" and then must, eventually, laugh at myself.

These are lessons that I thought I had learned. Maybe I did but now I need an external version or a different view. These lessons run through all the elemental grades and spirit too. The process can be difficult at times but it sure is fascinating all the time.

I do so love the theurgical aspect of the work.

Thank You to the United States Armed Forces! (Off Topic)

I would like to thank the brave men and women of the US Armed Forces for all they do on this their victorious day.

I would also like to pray that the counter-attacks that are most likely planned for this day are swiftly thwarted or repelled.

To anyone in the armed forces that read may this, thank you and I pray you stay safe.