Monday, May 9, 2011

Water Water Everywhere...

I am dealing with some serious water (emotional) issues on more than a few fronts. Those issues have manifested physically as follows:
  • Water meters were installed by the city in my neighborhood last week. We are the last city in the state to get them.
  • Just before that, I noticed dirt in my tap water on rare occasion. I have a line that needs repaired.
  • I am working to install drip irrigation in the backyard, which was a long held plan
  • My kitchen faucet is falling apart and needs replaced.
  • A house cleaner broke the stopper mechanism in my bathroom sink.
  • I gave up Diet Pepsi due to aspartame. Now I drink one cup of coffee in the morning. Ninety percent of the rest of my liquid intake is water.
  • I have to literally apply frozen water to my arm as I have tendinitis. 
Emotional correspondences include
  • The sudden death of my father.
  • A new girlfriend (that part is fun and fulfilling)
  • The Medusa issue I am dealing with
  • Being humbled at work
  • the revisiting of a host of issues from past lodge work from both sides of the plate
  • odd comments from friends that hit home like sledge hammers that aren't intended to
  • fears for the health of a friend
  • hearing about a dying man nearly daily at work
  • An acute sense of the need to be fully self-reliant in areas that I've had assistance before
  • The highs of some of the most unifying magick I've ever done. This shouldn't be interpreted as jumping for joy highs but more of a quiet satisfaction with those workings.
Lately these issues have been exacerbated by magickal work. The Helpful Deity and Hermes brought me so high twice that it really stretched my emotional ability to handle the change. I am trying really hard to be expressive with the Gentle Soul but the rest of these things are forcing me inward. Worse, I contacted my egregore to make sure I was on the right track and found myself in mid-river. In a way that was good as part of what I learned by dipping in those waters was immediately confirmed. In a way that was bad because the last thing I feel I want is more water in my life.

That said, I feel the strong push to revisit the path of death ritually and seek its highest climbs. Doing that at this point seems both insane and the right thing to do.

EDIT: The path of death is Scorpio and there are three symbols to Scorpio. If I do that path again, it will be the third time. Scorpio is also a very secretive sign. There are some personal emotional secrets I am learning.

1 comment:

nutty professor said...

Not to blow smoke up your a$$, but I really enjoy reading your blog. It is simple and honest, or at least you seem to be an honest writer. It is one of my favorite blogs on the spiritual life. Thanks again.