Surrendering to Death

My journey along the path of Death continued tonight. Yesterday's journey was a lesson on humility when it came to forgetting a basic tenant of ritual work. Today's even more so but in a different fashion.

The temple room set-up was spartan. In the west, I placed a green candle for Netzach. The east sported a yellow candle for Tipereth. Upon the altar between them lay a white candle representing the spiritual journey, a water cup as death is a watery place and the Death card.

Before I did the LBRP I called upon my concept of non-ownership, not of the power/energy, but of the Universe. Nothing is mine. Nothing belongs to me. I am a small part of it, very small. I saw stars, thousands and thousands of stars. I reverently did an LBRP and felt clean, focused, pure, prayerful. I knew my place in the universe is so small but there is a place. Then something odd happened.

I felt like the figure in the World card. With one arm up and the other down like the Magician card, I spun and 'danced', if you would call it that, around the temple space.

I stopped facing the green candle and vibrated the YHVH Elohim* seven times. I adored the powers of Netzach asking them to be in balance with Tipereth. I then danced to the yellow candle and called upon YHVH Eloah Vahdaath six times. I prayed to the powers of Tipereth. I then danced back and forth between the candles vibrating the names of the angels and choirs. My focus was superb. The 'glow' from these two points was palpable, warm, divine.

Again I danced back to Netzach facing Tipereth and called upon the god the Golden Dawn tradition assigns to the Death card. He came so easily. I presented him with the symbol I forgot yesterday.

Immediately, I found myself bounding over the pool of grief. Two steps upon the 'earth' and I was in a boat. At first I thought it Charon at the prow but found it to be Anubis strong and silent. Soon, the boat rose skyward and I was amongst the stars. I believe it was the voice of the god invoked, not Anubis, that said, "This is why death does not matter." I was shown the earth from so far above. "Wars do not matter. Rapes do not matter. Trials and pains do not matter." The vision was so vast as to point out all our human fears, pains and trials are nothing to the universe. "What matters is the continual birth." The dark soil from yesterday's vision came alive in a riot of colors, watered by acceptance.

"Let everyone win, this is your trial of humility, let everyone win."

* The correct name is YHVH Tzbaoth. I'm not sure why the improper name didn't mess this up. Perhaps the gods are merciful with bumbling magicians. After all, the translation for the angel of Netzach is Grace of God. Perhaps that grace was just provided.

Note: This write up does not do this ritual justice. My spirit was alive. My mind focused. I felt like I glowed. My love of the divine returned to me.