I ate an early but light lunch today, finishing around 11:30 AM. An episode of Dr. Who was just finishing on Netflix when I felt a pleasant astral touch. It was full of love and I took it to mean some kind soul was praying for me. The feeling became more and more intense and I realized my HGA had come calling. It felt much like his initial appearance so long ago.
In the privacy of my own home, rather than standing in a Wendy's, I was so much more at ease.
He told me that the books I am writing, the tarot, the American Goetia and future works were part of my work as was this space. These things must me focused on now. For my part, I just listened and kept inviting him for closer and closer contact. This is bliss like I've never felt before. The only physical analogy I can think of is when someone is performing oral sex upon me. This is very pleasurable but there is little work on the part of the recipient and the giver is joyfully participating.
At times I was overcome with the bliss of it all, the closeness, the union. I am so overwhelmed even now that I know I am not recording all that has happened.
I can say I saw a great many faces, bearded men and an ancient Chinese man with a small white oriental style mustache/goatee. I felt the need to perform oral sex on one particular woman I know. This seems incongruous to the experience but I assure you that it was not. That sensation occurred right after I realized that I kept drawing him in deeper and deeper that there was also an opportunity to expand outward. Like last night, I was informed that I am connected to all things. I saw more older faces all appearing rather medieval. Eventually, I was taken down into an ancient castle. The hallway become taller and narrower as we descended. The cold stone brushed my shoulders.
After a quite long walk that reminded me very much of the path of the devil, I arrived at a tomb. The walls and floors made of stone. The floor stones were much smaller than the huge pieces that comprised the wall. In the walls were niches in which bodies were placed. I couldn't' see them but I knew they were there. Eventually, it became apparent I was to enter one of the niches. In it lie a dead adept, his rose cross on his chest. Nothing had color, it was all gray. The man and cross were ancient. At one point my focus wavered and I found myself back in the main hall of the tomb. I realized this was a test of resolve.
Suddenly my hand was on the cross and triangle of the Golden Dawn. They rested on a stone pillar with a tapered point. My hand was placed upon it and I was asked if I accepted and pledged to follow? live within? be true to? the oath of the adept. I said I did.
Once again I was given the opportunity to see the dead adept in the niche. It took some effort but I did so. I lifted the cross off his chest, bent down and kissed it. His head lifted to witness the event.
The tomb then became a beautiful church. I assume medieval Catholic. It was awesome. There was a figure of Christ, which I did not rebel against.
At some point I was told that I had the right of it regarding the 'demons' to evoke when getting one's HGA. I was also told not to do that yet, I would receive instruction and to refer to the Book of Abramelin.
The very focused journey took an hour. I know about what time it started and I 'awoke' an hour later. I am shaken in a good way. It was so pleasurable and intense. My focus was absolute, except that one wobble. As Pink Floyd once said, "There is no sensation to compare to this."
At one point, I was once again told to release all barriers of acceptance regarding contact with my HGA and the entire universe. When I brought more internal personality walls down, the sensations notably intensified. I heard that quote I love so much, "Perfection isn't achieved when there is nothing left to add but when there is nothing left to take away."
I am in quiet contemplation now. I know this wasn't an end or a beginning. Simply part of the process towards adepthood and service. I am more than moved.This was a deep religious experience minus the religion. I am not near tears of joy or ecstatic laughter but quiet in a non-smiling joyful sort of way.
Edit: I remember at the oath asking "what about..." which is a part of the oath that has concerned me for some time. "It does not apply." How can one take an oath and have part of it not apply? Beats me. Given that I've never read the oath, perhaps what I think is there isn't there.