As you know, I've been walking some astral paths of late. These walks are mini-initiatory experiences. In one of my recent posts regarding the path of the Devil, I wrote, "The path of the devil is the release from our old restrictions."
I am learning how I've restricted myself in the past, hell, yesterday. Today. RIGHT NOW. I bet more than one person reading this does the same thing. Maybe even in the same way.
The leader of my Alexandrian group would sometimes use the phrase getting out of your own way. This is one of the very few things he said that I didn't argue with. I knew he was right. I never knew how to apply it. Maybe I still don't. Maybe I do. Maybe you do too.
Many years ago, I told my Golden Dawn brethren that we often think of ego as the over-inflated part of ourselves and this is true. I pointed out that the part of us that underestimates our talents, that compares them unfavorably to others and stifles our ability to create our own lives is also our ego. The trick here is not to kill the ego but put it in alignment with reality.
In my case, I know what my HGA has told me. One of the associated activities of my True Will, is writing this blog, as well as writing on and teaching the tarot. To that end, I have created the Magician's Tarot blog to gain a following specifically on tarot. What I haven't done is write the book. There are other things I haven't done such as research an article on prayer that I want to write and study some GD material that I really need to know. Today, I asked myself why I haven't done these things.
I will spare you the psychobabble that I could likely drone out on the whys. The upshot is that I didn't feel intellectually capable. Excuse me? I'm as good or better than some. That said, I know some occult powerhouses. I don't mind admitting they work out of my pay grade. I do mind listening to that little voice of doubt in the back of my head telling me I can't do these things.
Why did I listen? Simple. It was never voiced. I never had such a thought and agreed with it. If asked to compare myself to so-and-so, I think I'd have a realistic comparison. The problem with these self-doubts was they were beneath the surface. I didn't refute them because I was unaware of them.
There is a long held magical belief across many cultures that says to have something's name gives one power over that thing. I have a name now and I will gain power over this silliness. Bully for me! These things can happen instantly or over time. I am not sure which form this will take.
So how do you ferret out these unspoken messages of your mind? I have some suggestions.
In my case, I instinctually grouped like things together. They were things I wanted and needed to do but weren't doing. What, I asked, do these things have in common? So, ask yourself the same questions and see what clicks for you.
Over the years, there have been messages from friends telling me the same thing but I never put them in any sort of useful context. Are your friends, aware or not, sending you a consistent message that you are rejecting? If so, ask yourself what would happen if you accepted their words as fact? That answer will lead to other, more significant answers and help you get out of your own way.