Hermes II (With Subtitles)

Hermes and I

My God It is Full of Stars

Last night, the fabric of the universe opened and I walked through. I have tried to write about it with little success. I can say I encountered the verifiable thoughts of others. I can say that I saw many stars. I could give you some examples. All those things fall well short of the mark. 

It isn't that I won't write about it. It is that I can't. There are not words.

We Had a Threesome (With Subtitles)

Congress with the Gods

Holy Cow, That was Cool!

Such Tender Intimacy and Love

Or maybe it was a foursome.  I guess we could call it six.  Maybe 20?  Whatever it was there was a whole lot of WOW.

Last night, Flower and I called the Helpful Deity and Hermes.  Only this time there was a twist.  We invited a third party.  Our third is an experienced solo practitioner and has encountered many different pantheons.  At some point, it I'm going to have to come up with the nickname for her.

We started in the normal manner in meditation and my chant which I make up on the spot as we meditate.  Only this time it was high ceremony for us.  I say that because we used the gong and incense.  We've use both before from time to time but that is the height of our ceremonial work with these gods.

Normally, Flower notices the gods appear first.  I'm a bit slow on the uptake.  This time I felt them as soon as I began chanting.  At times during and the chant the feeling of Hermes within me faded in and out, right up until Flower put hand upon my chest.  That was like being plugged into an electrical outlet.  She had the perfect timing.  That was a sign of our experience in working together.

The Helpful Deity entered Flower as well in Her highest form.  When this happens Flower is uncommunicative for a bit and it takes my asking her questions before she can speak.  One of our prepared questions was to ask of our third party."How can she grow?" "Why is she here?"

I'm not going to post a response to that except to say the following. Our third did receive an answer thatI believe was very affirming.  The answer though was short.  I wouldn't call it hesitant only brief.

That is when the fun started for me.  Hermes took over like I've never felt a god before.  I'm not really sure how to describe this.  He had a lot to say and ritual memory fades fast.  So, I'm going to cover the highlights that I can remember at the moment.  Pardon me if I use words like wow, blown away, holy shit, spectacular and, at risk of being redundant, wow.

I'm sure I'm going to get this out of order.  When Hermes was speaking the universe opened.  It was like being in the middle of one of those maps of the constellations where lines connect the stars so you can see the shapes the ancients saw there.  There was a big difference.  There were no stars.  Instead, we were surrounded by ancient living beings.  It was a bit reminiscent of being within a Terry Prachett novel in which these mythical concepts we have are no longer concepts but anthropomorphized realities.  I saw an ancient woman in black sitting before a wooden table with a spinning wheel behind her stare into a small black object which allowed her to look at us.  I saw quite clearly a medium sized brown dog, maybe a labrador, that really wasn't a dog standing on the floor looking at us with his tail wagging. Someone/Something stood beside him but I only remember that now and have no idea whom that was. Though, it was male.  I saw the face of Zeus when Hermes reminded me of their ties.  The other beings around us used all sorts of devices with one intent, watching us.  Some used black mirrors, others cauldrons, others ponds, oceans, the very stars themselves and some needed no device whatsoever.

In writing that, it sounds intimidating.  It was not.  It was awesome.  At one point the archetypal  magician walked by at an angle from north to west.  He didn't really pay much attention to us. It was Hermes that pointed him out by saying "The magician. What is your story?  Oh, Gandalf.  It is all the same.  It doesn't matter." And at the magicians floppy hat he said, "Oh the Rider-Waite, that is one of my favorites."

I saw a vision of a fourth person to join our little group. Our third saw her too. I look forward to meeting her when the time is right.

At times Hermes was reading minds.  Our third had a question.  I could feel it roll like a wave off of her body but she left it unspoken.  Hermes quickly turned to her and said,"Yes.  The answer to your question is yes." She seemed pleased with that answer.

Add yet another time, Flower was going very internal and he noticed.  I saw a room within her soul where she feels safe.  I shall not describe it here but just thinking about it makes you want to hug and hold her.  Not because of anything within the room but because she needs the room itself.  He spoke to her then.  He encouraged her.  He spoke words of personal growth.  He shared with her how much of our third and I love her.  There is no doubt we do even though our third and Flower had just met.

So much that we do scares Flower and yet she keeps coming back.  I cannot tell you how much I respect someone so afraid, so internal, and so willing to continually be challenged.  Words cannot express my admiration.

At one point, Hermes turned to our third, and said, "We will not harm you.  We have never harmed them and we will not.  Yes there are the myths and they serve a purpose.  They keep out the riff raff." He said this with amusement.  Most of the time he was very amused and I personally found him quite funny though a bit of a dandy times.  I saw a small wooden box a bit bigger and a little more square than the boxes commonly used to store tarot cards." Someone he is thinking of Pandora's box." Of course, it was our third, who has been known to be distrustful of the gods.  There's wisdom in that at times.  She affirmed her thought and he and he said, "That is not for you."

"But it is still there," she stated.

"Yes, but is not for you."

Our third challenged him by asking questions in a very direct and almost pushy manner.  Flower and I have never spoken to them like this before.  Hermes was amused.  He liked that coming from her.  Hermes is a jovial fellow nearly always at the point of amusement.

Some where during this very long working, he spoke of fire.  He spoke of fire in the nature of the forge  of Hephestes, a volcanos, of the sun, within our bodies, within our hair, within so many things.  He said there is no force greater but others that were equal.  It is their job, meaning my partners, to remind me of the import of the things equal to fire.  It is my job to remind them of the import of fire.

It was here that our perceptions varied.  Very often during these rites we stand very close to each other.  At this time, I believe my hands were resting on their lower backs.  I felt and remember my hands very lightly upon their bodies.  I do not remember moving them in any way.  I remember them collapsing upon me in a loving embrace both of their heads up on my shoulders, Flowers other hand upon my chest right next to our thirds.  There was very little of me there at this point but the part of me that was felt very loved and trusted and cared for.  It was touching.

Their perception was that I quite forcefully pulled them in tight to me as Hermes spoke of the fire.  In the light of the morning, I'm wondering if both perceptions are quite correct.  I do know that I felt no fear from them when they were that close.  They did not try to pull away.  As for my part, I could've stayed in the position for quite some time.  I think Hermes would've been fine with that too but they eventually relaxed and took a step back.

There was a period where Hermes waxed poetic about putting flowers in Flowers hair.  He told her to adorn her head and basically be proud of who she is.  He told her that our third would put Flowers in her hair. I saw this as a woman to woman bonding moment taking place out of my sight before the ritual. He added, "and some wine would be nice."  He was so very descriptive in my mind of what he wanted to see when next we called him.  He wants us to be less formal less stoic.  I will not say less respectful but I will say much more comfortable.

In our after conversation, both our third and Flower said at the very beginning of the ritual, they saw flowers on the table I have in the temple room. This was a nice confirmation but I didn't need that at all. There is no question I was in the precense of a god. There was no doubt. Never have I been so completely joined with a deity.

One of my favorite times, was when he turned to Flower and said,"It is called Hermetic for a reason." I simply loved the amusement in his voice and his spirit.  Internally to me he was pointing out that if she did some middle pillar exercises she would be much stronger and perhaps less internal during our sessions.

This morning I realized that statement had an additional meaning for me with my Golden Dawn style work.  Hermes is the god of transitions and exchanges.  He shared how two ideas come together and how the energies mutate and become something else.  The same is true for many ideas spawning many mutations and this is what He does.  This is a perfect description of my Golden Dawn experience.  My GD work has been continually about such clashing ideas and mutations they spawn.  It is called Hermetic for reason.

Towards the end, Hermes notice the Flower could take no more.  She was too internal.  So He turned to our third and said,"You have a job to do." Her immediate response was unlike her cheeky responses earlier.  She assented to obey whatever command he was about to issue.  He said,"Ring the bell and get her some tea." The bell immediately brought everyone out of the, what shall I call it, the trance?  This is not my usual way.  I usually take a while.

I'm sure I am leaving out a great deal of what transpired last night.  It was an incredibly long session.  It would not surprise me to be told it lasted several hours or at least two.  Hermes could've stayed with me for quite some time and I was capable of being his vessal for much longer.

Edit: Both of my partners commented during our cool down period that I turned a deep brown. I was not a black man, nor Mediterranean.  One said a very tanned Greek. The other very dark human brown like an Indian (not an American Indian).

Edit 2: Hermes spoke of the American Goetia too. He did not use those words but I knew what he was speaking in connection with. Unfortunately, I cannot recall the specific point in the rite.

Edit 3: Regarding my turning brown, I'm pretty sure at least one of them, maybe both, said my face changed completely. This is the second time I've heard this about myself in a magickal practice in a week. 

Test Post

Please forgive me for cluttering your inboxes and readers with this. I am having a serious problem with Blogger. My saved posts are disappearing. I am going to post this to find out if I can post. This is occurring on DoingMagick and Qabalistic Tarot. Thank you for your patience.

Release Yourself From Restrictions

As you know, I've been walking some astral paths of late. These walks are mini-initiatory experiences. In one of my recent posts regarding the path of the Devil, I wrote, "The path of the devil is the release from our old restrictions."

I am learning how I've restricted myself in the past, hell, yesterday. Today. RIGHT NOW. I bet more than one person reading this does the same thing. Maybe even in the same way.

The leader of my Alexandrian group would sometimes use the phrase getting out of your own way. This is one of the very few things he said that I didn't argue with. I knew he was right. I never knew how to apply it. Maybe I still don't. Maybe I do. Maybe you do too.

Many years ago, I told my Golden Dawn brethren that we often think of ego as the over-inflated part of ourselves and this is true. I pointed out that the part of us that underestimates our talents, that compares them unfavorably to others and stifles our ability to create our own lives is also our ego. The trick here is not to kill the ego but put it in alignment with reality.

In my case, I know what my HGA has told me. One of the associated activities of my True Will, is writing this blog, as well as writing on and teaching the tarot. To that end, I have created the Magician's Tarot blog to gain a following specifically on tarot. What I haven't done is write the book. There are other things I haven't done such as research an article on prayer that I want to write and study some GD material that I really need to know. Today, I asked myself why I haven't done these things.

I will spare you the psychobabble that I could likely drone out on the whys. The upshot is that I didn't feel intellectually capable. Excuse me? I'm as good or better than some. That said, I know some occult powerhouses. I don't mind admitting they work out of my pay grade. I do mind listening to that little voice of doubt in the back of my head telling me I can't do these things.

Why did I listen? Simple. It was never voiced. I never had such a thought and agreed with it. If asked to compare myself to so-and-so, I think I'd have a realistic comparison. The problem with these self-doubts was they were beneath the surface. I didn't refute them because I was unaware of them.

There is a long held magical belief across many cultures that says to have something's name gives one power over that thing. I have a name now and I will gain power over this silliness. Bully for me! These things can happen instantly or over time. I am not sure which form this will take.

So how do you ferret out these unspoken messages of your mind? I have some suggestions.

In my case, I instinctually grouped like things together. They were things I wanted and needed to do but weren't doing. What, I asked, do these things have in common? So, ask yourself the same questions and see what clicks for you.

Over the years, there have been messages from friends telling me the same thing but I never put them in any sort of useful context. Are your friends, aware or not, sending you a consistent message that you are rejecting? If so, ask yourself what would happen if you accepted their words as fact? That answer will lead to other, more significant answers and help you get out of your own way.

Quick Notes

American Goetia

Had a quick chat with Orobas. I recieved the name of the first spirit to be called and some tech.

HGA

I've been in a lot of contact lately. It is in the form of sensation. I can only describe  this as 'warm fuzzies' when I have the right idea and an 'absence of fuzzies' when my thoughts are off base. There is no questioning the source of these sensations.

Wow a Nice Recommendation!

The following unsolicited item was posted on Facebook regarding my tarot skills.

Hey everyone look what I found!!! I know this guy personally and have been impressed with is tarot work for a long time. To be honest he is one of the best readers I have ever met. So check out his musings on the subject, I think you will find it interesting. -- Bert Hansen (aka Vicar Bert)

The first entry, So Let's Talk About the Devil, stems from my recent work with the Devil card. It is a good example of where I plan to take this new blog. So, if you have even a vague interest, read this first entry and see if you'd like to follow.

Starting Another Blog - Tarot

I have been contemplating making some posts on the tarot. Among magicians, this is about as exciting as posting about dreams. Given some of you may like this topic and some may not. I've started a tarot specific blog called Magician's Tarot. I do not expect to post there as frequently as here.

Time with the Mentor

Wow, it has been a roller coaster couple of weeks, I simply do not have time to catalog all the events. So, I will start with this weekend.

I had a chance to hang with my mentor this weekend. We has a chance to talk like we haven't in years. It reminded me of old times when I needed his counseling sessions to get through the work. This time, it was much more of a conversation, friend/professor to grad student. Most of that talk isn't germane to this space.

The American Goetia did come up. I trust this man. I don't take his advise 100% but always consider it. He's been right far more than wrong. Had he warned me off, I would really have considered putting the project on hold. He didn't warn me off. Instead, I found encouragement.

He also left me with some of his old rituals he did with his mentor. I don't know if I will simply read them, study them or perform them. What matters at the moment is that they are part of my magickal heritage and I will cherish them for that reason. Receiving those was really really cool.

Upcoming Magick

I have lots of magick planned.

1.   Talks with Orobas about the American Goetia
2.   Walking the path of Peh and Samekh
3.   Rewalking all the paths below that.
4.   Doing some magick on the path of Resh for observational/intuitional skills
5.   Working with my partner with HD and Hermes
6.   Introducing a friend to our HD work

For those of you unaware, the Hebrew letters are linked with Tarot cards as follows. Peh/Tower; Samekh/Temperence; Resh/Sun.  Speaking of which, I've avoided speaking of the tarot as there are a million and one folks out there doing that. Readers, would you be interested in reading about that sort of thing ie philosophy, patterns and magickal uses?

Strategic Sorcery Fans

For those that are not on his student list, I thought I would post that Jason has sent out an email. It appears the Strategic Sorcery Blog is down for a bit. This is a problem with Blogger and is being worked on.

American Goetia Development

I didn't expect to be posting tonight when I sent that short little update earlier.

Tonight, a friend texted me out of the blue wanting to learn more about my American Goetia theories and work. Of all my magickal friends, this is one towards the bottom of the list as far as me thinking s/he would be interested in this sort of work.

Perhaps not so coincidentally, I felt the pull into my temple space tonight. I received a brief communique that told me what spirit to call first, a bit out the personal precautions necessary, and a little tech. Orobas also told me that the spirits I would call in this manner would be much more powerful than he. He seemed to be stressing that fact about this first one.

Orobas was a little firm in his instructions. I had a little chat reminding him of who reports to who and gave him instructions on permissible ways to continue this dialogue. I told him that in no uncertain terms was I going to allow him to lead me down some path that switched our roles. Hopefully, that will be the last time for that nonsense.

Still Here

Life has become extraordinarily busy of late. I have interesting things to report but they will have to wait. Robert has become a busy man.

Quickly, I will mention the tarot classes in Bakersfield are proving to be very successful. I expect to be offering an on-line version, face to face via Skype over the coming year.

Healing Work

The Psychic has been suffering from bad back issues. She reported the pain at a 9 or 10 level. She was about to report to the emergency room. I went to her very spontaneously. I again used my astral water cup to pour an endless libation to/of the divine upon her body.  I knew the healing would not be all at once.

She reported an immediate reduction to a level 7 pain. She also reported that she was feeling blissfully sleepy. I will work some more on her tonight to supplement what I know will already happen overnight. I will also pop on over to someone else that could use a bit of emotional healing before going to bed.

And now for something completely different.

Read this. He is absolutely right! I've been trying to find a way to say this for a year or so now.

Taking It With You

Last night, I sat in my temple room in prayer. I love these quiet moments. There is a real feeling of connection to the divine, whatever that is. There is union and agape. These are quiet personal moments that I've always wanted but could not put into words much less experience.

I began to wonder why I couldn't take this with me wherever I went. Why can I only find it in my temple room or in quiet natural places? Why not indeed? Today, I sat in a meeting. My participation wasn't necessary for about 20 minutes. Suddenly, I remembered the visions of 'spirit' I had when working with the akasha tattwas. The visual was of dots hanging in space like a three-dimensional grid. I like this. It brings to mind how everything is connected by spirit but in a hidden way. To me, this is spirit acting in this world. I do not think this is how it is on the subtle realms. It is just my idiosyncratic representation.

It was this representation I focused on in the meeting. I felt that connection, agape. It didn't reach my closed off heart. These have not been people I've worked with. Instead, we've worked at each other. I made the effort to open my heart as I focused on the visual. I liked the feeling.

The odd part was the reactions of others in the room. Three of the four became very uncomfortable, making sidelong glances in my direction. The other remained at ease.

Personal Clarification

For those of you that asked via back channels, I am still working on the What I learned in 2010 post. One of the things I learned about this blog is that I sometimes don't emphasis things at the time that likely should be. I am working to rectify that.

Last night, I moved from the lowest part of the path of the Devil to a much higher level. This is not from Hod to Tipereth. This was vertical as in rising in the planes. There are three significant factors here:

• The astral forms I encountered at the higher planes were solid. They had weight. They were tangible. These perceptions were very new to me.
• I was shown three levels of the sphere of Tipereth. These were very distinct. I used to think of these levels as more theoretical than actual. They are more real to me now. Also, what I did not record last night was the realm of the choir grew to huge proportions. In asking about that I was told the job of the choir was to make things manifest. Their size indicated their ability to find the path for the magick to take. I have called this path the weakest link (which could actually be a strong point) in the past. This makes me feel that working with choirs is much more important than I previously thought.
• Orobas went with me on part of this journey. The god I was with literally called him forth to follow. Mentions of the American Goetia were made but nothing came of it. 

Another thing may be significant. At the height of my journey, I kept being told that I had to get rid of things that interfered with my ability to properly perceive and advance upon the path. I continually stated I was willing to do so. In fervant prayer I asked for these things to go. I know some of them. I also know others are much more subtle. I have no idea what I have to let go but I am willing.

Or so I thought, today I woke to horrible back pain. Is there a link there? Is part of me holding on to something so tight it messes with my back issues? I have no clue really but I thought it worth recording that a journey so strong as to make astral beings feel so physical could have resulted in my physical issue flaring up. I just don't know.

I will say that I greatly enjoy being so astral as feel astral bodies as physical. To some that may indicate that i was on the lowest levels of astral. I don't know. I make no claims to anything higher. That said, adding not only a sense of touch but density (weight) to my astral perceptions seems to be an increase in skill level or perceptual ability.

More on the Path of the Devil

I began with the same routine as last time.

The images were very very dark. The god told me that long have I walked the lower places of the path and ascend higher. I felt some very concrete beings. These seemed more solid than many things I encounter on the astral. I banished them. I released them. I think they were personifications of things I was holding onto.

Before I came to that realization I did some reiki-like healing work from that place for a friend. It seemed the right thing to do.

The god also told me to walk the other paths I have planned to walk in the same way as I have walked the Devil and Death. Once I had done the other two planned paths, I was to recapitulate all the other paths I have walked.

And Now for Something that Actually Makes Sense

Yesterday's post was a little weird because I wrote it high. I wasn't on drugs though it was a contact high. That contact was so intense that my mind was still making those huge leaps that occur in contemplation, tarot readings and moments of inspiration. I wanted to record those thoughts in that frame of mind and so I did. Unfortunately, that made for some poor reading. I received a back channel comment that it was "obvious that I was editing again". This was not true. There was a lack of foundation on some things that made it look that way though. This post is intended to clear up that poor read.

I must note that much like Pan long ago, my HGA is still hanging around. It is prompting me to write mainly but ritual work is included in that writing. These are not demands. It is a combination of someone holding a sign saying "This way to Albuquerque" (look out for that left turn) and a high school teacher telling you, "This is solid B work, nice job but you can do better and I expect that of you." I am more than a bit surprised to be told this blog is part of what I"m supposed to be doing. Though, it make explain the alarm I saw on my mentor's face when I said that it was getting harder and harder to do and that I may stop. I guess the idea of stopping has gone out the window.

I ate an early but light lunch today, finishing around 11:30 AM. An episode of Dr. Who was just finishing on Netflix when I felt a pleasant astral touch. It was full of love and I took it to mean some kind soul was praying for me. The feeling became more and more intense and I realized my HGA had come calling. It felt much like his initial appearance so long ago.

My first contact with my HGA was after doing Liber Samekh for a very short period, maybe a couple of weeks. It came so fast because of all the previous work I'd done to that point. It decided to make itself known while I was standing in line at Wendy's for lunch. At that time, I did not do the requisite activity of conjuring a host of demons and getting them under my control. Frankly, I didn't feel I had that skill set nor the time. The former my be true the latter was a pointless excuse. When does a working man ever have the time to do that?

Hopefully, that background makes the following sentence more understandable.

In the privacy of my own home, rather than standing in a Wendy's, I was so much more at ease.


The paragraph below could have been worded differently and broken up but I think the meanings are clear.

He told me that the books I am writing, the tarot, the American Goetia and future works were part of my work as was this space. These things must me focused on now. For my part, I just listened and kept inviting him for closer and closer contact. This is bliss like I've never felt before. The only physical analogy I can think of is when someone is performing oral sex upon me. This is very pleasurable but there is little work on the part of the recipient and the giver is joyfully participating.


In the paragraphs above and below, I'm trying to express the emotion of the contact. Bliss and union are the only words I really have. I'm telling you that if I could stay in that place for the rest of my life, I'd simply sit in meditation until I starved to death.

At times I was overcome with the bliss of it all, the closeness, the union. I am so overwhelmed even now that I know I am not recording all that has happened.



The paragraph below is so convoluted with different images that it demands clarification. If you read it first the clarification that follows will make more sense.


I can say I saw a great many faces, bearded men and an ancient Chinese man with a small white oriental style mustache/goatee. I felt the need to perform oral sex on one particular woman I know. This seems incongruous to the experience but I assure you that it was not. That sensation occurred right after I realized that I kept drawing him in deeper and deeper that there was also an opportunity to expand outward. Like last night, I was informed that I am connected to all things. I saw more older faces all appearing rather medieval. Eventually, I was taken down into an ancient castle. The hallway become taller and narrower as we descended. The cold stone brushed my shoulders.

During the visions associated with this event, I saw many faces. Seeing the faces of old men is relatively common for me when I am really on my game. Of late, I've noticed a Chinese face that is prominent in such visions. It appears larger and more clearly defined than the others. I have no explanation for the ethnicity of this face. I have no Chinese heritage nor am I aware of any on my initiatory paths. I do recall that in years gone by a Chinese face in such visions but it wasn't in any way different than the others.

The desire to perform oral sex on a particular woman was a bit odd. I'm not sure where it came from. It arrived as I was expanding. By that I mean forming larger connections to the universe than I'd normally consider part of my sphere. Rather than just compassion, this was actually connecting with people and events. Perhaps the oral sex things was just a sexual way of saying in service to another in a non-selfish way. I don't know. I can say that in the moment it was congruous with the state of mind and visionary process I was experiencing.

The quickly merged into visions of more faces. These were older medieval period faces. I'm not sure why I know that but I do. It may have been by their garments but I do not recall seeing them. From that jumping off point, I entered a medieval castle and was taken down a tunnel. That tunnel narrowed as it descended. The walls on either side grew very tall as the tunnel grew so narrow that my shoulders brushed its sides. I emerged in a tomb. The tomb was circular and contained deep niches in the walls in which I knew dead bodies could be found. At the time, this very much reminded me of the Knights Templar. Likely because there is a circular church/burial ground in a surviving temple in England.

Hopefully, that clarifies the above and some of the item below.

After a quite long walk that reminded me very much of the path of the devil, I arrived at a tomb. The walls and floors made of stone. The floor stones were much smaller than the huge pieces that comprised the wall. In the walls were niches in which bodies were placed. I couldn't' see them but I knew they were there. Eventually, it became apparent I was to enter one of the niches. In it lie a dead adept, his rose cross on his chest. Nothing had color, it was all gray. The man and cross were ancient. At one point my focus wavered and I found myself back in the main hall of the tomb. I realized this was a test of resolve.

Suddenly my hand was on the cross and triangle of the Golden Dawn. They rested on a stone pillar with a tapered point. I am pretty sure that pillar grew at just that moment. It wasn't there before. My hand was placed upon it and I was asked if I accepted and pledged to follow? live within? be true to? the oath of the adept. I said I did.


As I included in my edit last night, I asked something like, "What about selling magick as in "promise nothing except to heal and that gratis." I was told it did not apply. I haven't the foggiest idea why. Seems to me an oath is an oath. It could be that isn't actually part of the oath. It could be that paragraph 3 subclauses A - D exclude tarot, reiki and a host of other things...but I doubt it.

The next two short paragraphs seem to make sense.

Once again I was given the opportunity to see the dead adept in the niche. It took some effort but I did so. I lifted the cross off his chest, bent down and kissed it. His head lifted to witness the event.

The tomb then became a beautiful church. I assume medieval Catholic. It was awesome. There was a figure of Christ, which I did not rebel against.

The paragraph below refers to the Abramelin formula in which you get various high ranking demons to swear allegiance to you the day you get contact. The next day you get their underlings. The next day you get even more. I have read both Abramelin and the Lesser Key of Solomon. Often people think the demons in the latter are what Abramelin refers to. I disagree. In one of my recent path workings, I was shown that those demons are more like personal cast offs than demons you can find in some book.

At some point I was told that I had the right of it regarding the 'demons' to evoke when getting one's HGA. I was also told not to do that yet, I would receive instruction and to refer to the Book of Abramelin.
The very focused journey took an hour. I know about what time it started and I 'awoke' an hour later. I am shaken in a good way. It was so pleasurable and intense. My focus was absolute, except that one wobble. As Pink Floyd once said, "There is no sensation to compare to this."

The above Pink Floyd reference again was trying to explain the bliss I felt during this experience.

At one point, I was once again told to release all barriers of acceptance regarding contact with my HGA and the entire universe. When I brought more internal personality walls down, the sensations notably intensified.  I heard that quote I love so much, "Perfection isn't achieved when there is nothing left to add but when there is nothing left to take away."

I am in quiet contemplation now. I know this wasn't an end or a beginning. Simply part of the process towards adepthood and service. I am more than moved.This was a deep religious experience minus the religion. I am not near tears of joy or ecstatic laughter but quiet in a non-smiling joyful sort of way.
 

Hopefully, the reader will find this post to make more sense than the last one.

Holy Guardian Angel

I ate an early but light lunch today, finishing around 11:30 AM. An episode of Dr. Who was just finishing on Netflix when I felt a pleasant astral touch. It was full of love and I took it to mean some kind soul was praying for me. The feeling became more and more intense and I realized my HGA had come calling. It felt much like his initial appearance so long ago.

In the privacy of my own home, rather than standing in a Wendy's, I was so much more at ease.

He told me that the books I am writing, the tarot, the American Goetia and future works were part of my work as was this space. These things must me focused on now. For my part, I just listened and kept inviting him for closer and closer contact. This is bliss like I've never felt before. The only physical analogy I can think of is when someone is performing oral sex upon me. This is very pleasurable but there is little work on the part of the recipient and the giver is joyfully participating.

At times I was overcome with the bliss of it all, the closeness, the union. I am so overwhelmed even now that I know I am not recording all that has happened.

I can say I saw a great many faces, bearded men and an ancient Chinese man with a small white oriental style mustache/goatee. I felt the need to perform oral sex on one particular woman I know. This seems incongruous to the experience but I assure you that it was not. That sensation occurred right after I realized that I kept drawing him in deeper and deeper that there was also an opportunity to expand outward. Like last night, I was informed that I am connected to all things. I saw more older faces all appearing rather medieval. Eventually, I was taken down into an ancient castle. The hallway become taller and narrower as we descended. The cold stone brushed my shoulders.

After a quite long walk that reminded me very much of the path of the devil, I arrived at a tomb. The walls and floors made of stone. The floor stones were much smaller than the huge pieces that comprised the wall. In the walls were niches in which bodies were placed. I couldn't' see them but I knew they were there. Eventually, it became apparent I was to enter one of the niches. In it lie a dead adept, his rose cross on his chest. Nothing had color, it was all gray. The man and cross were ancient. At one point my focus wavered and I found myself back in the main hall of the tomb. I realized this was a test of resolve.

Suddenly my hand was on the cross and triangle of the Golden Dawn. They rested on a stone pillar with a tapered point. My hand was placed upon it and I was asked if I accepted and pledged to follow? live within? be true to? the oath of the adept. I said I did.

Once again I was given the opportunity to see the dead adept in the niche. It took some effort but I did so. I lifted the cross off his chest, bent down and kissed it. His head lifted to witness the event.

The tomb then became a beautiful church. I assume medieval Catholic. It was awesome. There was a figure of Christ, which I did not rebel against.

At some point I was told that I had the right of it regarding the 'demons' to evoke when getting one's HGA. I was also told not to do that yet, I would receive instruction and to refer to the Book of Abramelin.

The very focused journey took an hour. I know about what time it started and I 'awoke' an hour later. I am shaken in a good way. It was so pleasurable and intense. My focus was absolute, except that one wobble. As Pink Floyd once said, "There is no sensation to compare to this."

At one point, I was once again told to release all barriers of acceptance regarding contact with my HGA and the entire universe. When I brought more internal personality walls down, the sensations notably intensified.  I heard that quote I love so much, "Perfection isn't achieved when there is nothing left to add but when there is nothing left to take away."

I am in quiet contemplation now. I know this wasn't an end or a beginning. Simply part of the process towards adepthood and service. I am more than moved.This was a deep religious experience minus the religion. I am not near tears of joy or ecstatic laughter but quiet in a non-smiling joyful sort of way.

Edit: I remember at the oath asking "what about..." which is a part of the oath that has concerned me for some time. "It does not apply." How can one take an oath and have part of it not apply? Beats me. Given that I've never read the oath, perhaps what I think is there isn't there. 

Walking the Path of the Devil - With Subtitles

The Title of this post is

Walking the Path of Devil

Everything is in Everything

The Only Sin is Restriction

Tonight, I placed an orange candle in the west for Hod and a Yellow in the east for Tipereth. The same white candle stood on the altar this time for the path of Devil. The Devil card also replaced the Death Card.

I repeated the same ritual formula as last time. I began in Hod by vibrating the god name Eloheem Tzabaoth eight times. Within the sphere I saw the magician card from the Thoth deck. Hod is often called the place of the magician. This shouldn't have been a surprise but it was.

I moved to Tiperath and vibrated that god-name six times. Immediately within the yellow sphere I saw the same magician card. "that is right. All things are in all things. You are in all things all the time. The law of contagion therefore hold that you can effect all things...but why would you want to?" That last part could have been me or the voice. Who knows? The words don't do much justice to the realization and the visual. I was so stunned I had to be 'told' to move along.

Hod's archangel vibration was uneventful except for the parting comment. "Move along" had a ring of "This will shock you." When I vibrated the archangel of Tiperteth one sphere dropped from the first. how it did this when the first sphere already touched the floor is anyone's guess. The figure within the second sphere was still the magician, only it was the angel. "Same thing, different level." Okay, this was getting to be quite the show.

Again, the choir of angels didn't do anything spectacular in Hod. When I called the choir of Tipereth a third sphere appeared. This time it rose forth from the ground pushing the other two up! Within was the same figure, not as clearly visible. Four shadows appeared around it, each growing out from his feet, nearly as tall but angling away from him. This made five figures joined at the feet but the four were definitely subordinate.

This are likely the four kings one is supposed to call when one gets his HGA. So many people link these with goetic kings but a read of Abramelin and the Goetia show the goetia has too many kings. These demonic kings are the shells of our past associations with elements. At this point, we are in command of our elementary patterns, not the other way around.

I then took god form with the golden dawn god of the path of the devil. The path was nothing but darkness. RELEASE. The path of the devil is the release from our old restrictions, points of view etc. If you walk along the lower parts of the path, the fear and horror of it are overwhelming. Once you get above that, it is bliss. I ran through names of the people I know and saw all their positive perceptions of myself. Some of them were more neutral. Some of them glowed at the thought of my name. Given that I have a low opinion of what others think of me, the opposite you'd expect from a Leo, this was quite shocking but very real. These were not ego inflated images. These were possibilities I never allowed myself to see.

Those sort of self restrictions are what Crowley meant by "the only sin is restriction". This isn't do whatever you want. This is freedom from the little self, freedom from our own muck. The Devil path is one of hanging on or letting go. This was true of the Death path as well. Only instead of a pool of grief one has an ever rolling abyss ever espousing a body luminous formless and void.

Again, this is a journey that words diminish. I cannot describe my feelings and the like.

Part of this path echoed my mentors words in an email the other day, "Why do you feel....."

WOW.

I have to walk this path again. I will likely do the tower as well. After that, should be obvious. If not, stay tuned for "As the Arrow Flies".

Rehash

Since just prior to Christmas, I have noticed myself recycling old issues. Aside from once, where I brought something up, others are bringing them to me out of left field.  These are life issues from prior to my involvement in organized occult activities as well as after.

I am also amazed how I can travel to and from my inner dark, inner corrupt and inner (w)holy places so quickly of late. Frankly, only the middle one bothers me at all.

The fallout from the Death workings seems to be happening in various phases. This is as intended. I expect to walk the path of Devil card next. 

Surrendering to Death

My journey along the path of Death continued tonight. Yesterday's journey was a lesson on humility when it came to forgetting a basic tenant of ritual work. Today's even more so but in a different fashion.

The temple room set-up was spartan. In the west, I placed a green candle for Netzach. The east sported a yellow candle for Tipereth. Upon the altar between them lay a white candle representing the spiritual journey, a water cup as death is a watery place and the Death card.

Before I did the LBRP I called upon my concept of non-ownership, not of the power/energy, but of the Universe. Nothing is mine. Nothing belongs to me. I am a small part of it, very small. I saw stars, thousands and thousands of stars. I reverently did an LBRP and felt clean, focused, pure, prayerful. I knew my place in the universe is so small but there is a place. Then something odd happened.

I felt like the figure in the World card. With one arm up and the other down like the Magician card, I spun and 'danced', if you would call it that, around the temple space.

I stopped facing the green candle and vibrated the YHVH Elohim* seven times. I adored the powers of Netzach asking them to be in balance with Tipereth. I then danced to the yellow candle and called upon YHVH Eloah Vahdaath six times. I prayed to the powers of Tipereth. I then danced back and forth between the candles vibrating the names of the angels and choirs. My focus was superb. The 'glow' from these two points was palpable, warm, divine.

Again I danced back to Netzach facing Tipereth and called upon the god the Golden Dawn tradition assigns to the Death card. He came so easily. I presented him with the symbol I forgot yesterday.

Immediately, I found myself bounding over the pool of grief. Two steps upon the 'earth' and I was in a boat. At first I thought it Charon at the prow but found it to be Anubis strong and silent. Soon, the boat rose skyward and I was amongst the stars. I believe it was the voice of the god invoked, not Anubis, that said, "This is why death does not matter." I was shown the earth from so far above. "Wars do not matter. Rapes do not matter. Trials and pains do not matter." The vision was so vast as to point out all our human fears, pains and trials are nothing to the universe. "What matters is the continual birth." The dark soil from yesterday's vision came alive in a riot of colors, watered by acceptance.

"Let everyone win, this is your trial of humility, let everyone win."

* The correct name is YHVH Tzbaoth. I'm not sure why the improper name didn't mess this up. Perhaps the gods are merciful with bumbling magicians. After all, the translation for the angel of Netzach is Grace of God. Perhaps that grace was just provided.

Note: This write up does not do this ritual justice. My spirit was alive. My mind focused. I felt like I glowed. My love of the divine returned to me.

Along the Path of Death

Tonight, I did an invocation of the god the Golden Dawn tradition associates with the Death card of the tarot. I began with the normal preliminaries.

Then, I spent 15 minutes focussing on the Universal Waite Death card. I noticed some things I hadn't spotted before.

• The rose on the banner is an inverted Pentagram. This to me is coming to represent spirit descending through balanced elemental forces. I will have to look up more classic definitions but that is how it struck me in my meditation.
• The figures on the ground represent those elements in some form or fashing they are all dead or about to die. This I feel is more representative of the shells we build around those elements, their control over us. Rather than the elements themselves dieing.
• The pope is focused upon Death instead of the initiatory pillars in the background. This is hinted at by the match of his robe's color and that of the rising sun.
• The ship upon the waters shows the path of Scorpio can be traveled safely.

I used the non-ownership concept in bringing down the energy to form the god-form image in the temple and the GD vibratory formula's for enlivening that form. The monstrous form grew quickly.  I saluted it in GD fashion. Then, I told it what I was doing and asked that it take me along the path of Death. Only then did we become one.

I was immediately told that to do this properly I should have called upon the forces of the sephiro that connect to this path, Netzach and Tipereth. I was told to vibrate the names. I was then asked for a symbol I do not know. That resulted in being told that I could be taken part way. To this, I assented.

The lesson of the tarot card was reaffirmed. Yes, we look at death and always fail to see what is beyond it, the purpose behind the death.

I cannot recall at the moment the landscape I found myself upon.   The god told me to proceed. The ground quickly changed to black earth, dry. The earth was fertile, very fertile, but there was no water. The sky too was the same black. This was a desert.

Eventually, I did see the rising sun through the pillars like on the card and a sunny path through green rolling hills. I was told to proceed. I saw a pool in the distance and was told to stop. My momentum kept carrying me forward as I tried to slow my progress. Still, I ceased movement well short of the pool. At least a mile by mundane earth standards. I was told that was pool of grief. Those that drink of its waters remain in that state evermore and this was as far as I was allowed.

I was encouraged to return soon with the aforementioned item. I asked if this journey would play out in my life and the god said to expect that. I did leave the tarot card on my altar. I will return very soon.

I can easily understand the theme of the pool of water. I too have held on to grief and we've all heard stories of people that pine away for lost loved ones rather than proceeding on their own journeys with reverence.

Edit: When joining with the god my hands and arms 'glued' to my sides. So harshly that the deity instructed me to consciously relax them to avoid distraction. 

Hodge Podge

This is just a short post on a variety of little items.

Influence

This weekend I read Lon Milo DuQuette's Low Magick. I have always admitted to being influenced by Lon's work. I found two specific examples. In the course of my magickal practice, I've learned that simpler a thing is the better it works. For me, I had to know the first few items pretty deeply before learning to get simple. I have come to the belief that magick can best be practiced after on has an intimate knowledge of the practice, image etc one is using. Lon's work is like that. He has done so much that by the time he writes it comes out so simplified that many turn their backs on it. Secondly, Lon not only fully admits his mistakes but he doesn't fully take credit for the effects of his work. The later is something I've noticed in myself only recently.

Lon has two books that I believe will strongly appeal to readers of this blog. In them, he talks about his actual magickal practice like I do here.

Healing  

In other news, the woman from which I removed the astral bug, texted me thrilled at her change in behavior. Apparently, some human was saved from a tongue lashing. She pronounced herself fully cured. That is likely the last update on her.

I've been doing some Reiki on myself. I feel that I am recovering from a cold much faster than I would have otherwise. At least, I am feeling much better today than expected.


Hyper Focus

I haven't done as much as this as I would have liked. I keep reminding myself to proceed. Hopefully, I won't lose the thread.

Dropping Through a Pin Hole

As part of a larger magickal project of deeply personal work, I will be working with the Golden Dawn god associated with the Death card. Expect a post about that working soon.

What I Learned in 2010

This post is still coming. It has been a bit of a slog getting through it all.