Of late, I have felt a tremendous amount of pressure. It has built upon itself so slowly that I failed to notice.
Some of this is explained mundanely. I am going through life coaching school which creates activities three days a week. In that process I am not only learning but coaching and being coached. I am on two teams so that means I am getting coached on different topics twice a week. That is a lot. Also, my car has been in and out of the shop since an accident in January. Soul Sangha (my local MM group) and my tarot classes have both grown to twice-monthly activities. On top of that I teach some sort of other local class about every six weeks. The MM class is now participatory takes three hours. I also lectured for four classes this week at Fresno State University on the Golden Dawn and will do the same next week regarding the MM. Oh and I also have coaching clients I work with. All of that hasn't been the main source of pressure. Though, it may be the reason I feel it so much. I haven't had much R&R.
The pressure comes from a couple of areas. The first is being a focus of a lot of people's spiritual lives. Fifteen to twenty people does not sound like much but it is when their spiritual selves are very aware of you. Then there is my own spiritual work. I can feel pressure building up towards some change but I don't know what it is.
I know all is perfect. Yet, very uncharacteristic of myself for two years now, I feel trepidation bordering on fear.