When we last worked with HD, It told me that I could find it in anyone I looked at. "Find me in their eyes." So, I've been looking.
I saw someone that I've known all my life and saw the teenager in her. Her face literally morphed into that young person full of life. Then morphed back into the current human that lives in a great deal of mental pain. Compassion.
I then watched a conversation between two people. They were discussing work issues. I realized the person was asking questions in order to make her way through the day but more importantly, she was seeking to understand. Then I realized that almost all (if not all) the conversations we have are an attempt to understand or be understood.
My work is to understand and learn about the ultimate divine. I have always felt alone in this. Robert doing one thing, the world doing another. Suddenly, I realized that even people not doing any work are still trying to understand the Universe. We are all just trying to understand. I then felt foolish. How could I feel alone in this? There are 140 followers of this space on blogger, 250 people subscribe to the feed and it has over a hundred fans on Facebook. Almost all of my friends are into magick, spirituality or religious in some very active form. How the hell did I feel alone in my work? Sometimes the things I am blind to truly astonish me.
The HD also told me that It is the all. Well not really, Its words were more subtle than that but what was not subtle was, "If you reject anyone, you are rejecting a part of me." Anyone really meant anything. So, here is my conundrum. What human being does not reject the child molester, rapist, holocaust engineer etc.? Yes those are extreme examples and meant to be. These are all part of the all. Given that It also told me that all human beings are in their 'right place' all the time, these actions are part of the divine, not human failings. These are things I understood when It was present in ritual that frankly I don't understand now.
Regardless of that internal conflict, being with HD is all about peace. I feel all embroiled in a work situation and normal mundane life and still feel peaceful. Work frustration is handled much better both internally and socially. I feel more connected. That part of me that builds walls and separates from others is crumbling, SLOWLY but it is.
It is 2:30 AM. I'm hitting the post button and going to bed. I am not doing the slightest of proof reading. SO, if this doesn't make sense, please forgive me.