As previously reported, I add statements of intent and prayer to the LBRP at the last evocation. I prayed to each archangel according to my perception of its role. I was amazed by the results. I haven't done the LBRP on a daily basis in quite a while. In the beginning it was a two times a day affair, seven days a week. I think this is a good practice in the GD system. Though, I also think a sincere prayer and offering to any spirits on the area beforehand is a great addition. That last thought is straight from Jason. This is what I get out of reading his works. I do not adapt his techniques wholesale but use them to modify and enhance my own. I would not instruct the LBRP to a new person now without offering that advice as well.
Last night, I could not sleep. There was no stress that I am aware of. I was calm relaxed tired but awake. Having nothing more constructive to do, I did an LBRP. Frankly, it wasn't my best. I did use prayer. I asked Raphael to calm my turbulent thoughts when needed. I asked Gabriel to wash away impurities with his water. Michael was asked to consecrate me with his fire. Auriel was asked to all me to manifest these gifts on earth and use them to heal the pains of others.
I went to bed and was out like a light.
This morning as I was parking at the hardware store, I thought of the LBRP. A variation of the angels came to my mind. I was immediately overcome by a sense of profound peace. The peace drove home to me a sense of the difference between what one wants to do and what one does when in proper alignment. This was the latter.
So, this morning I did the variation and found it to be good. The power I felt at the call to the archangels was extraordinary. However, I did err. This should not be an LBRP but a LIRP.
I often write about my challenges, personality traits that I want to refine or mistakes I've made. I receive a lot of comments on and off line about them. Apparently, this sets people back a bit. I'm not sure why. A magician must be honest with himself. He must see the good, the bad and the whole. I write about these things for a couple of reasons. One is to show one portion of the Great Work. Another is my own note taking and progress gauge. Yet another is that I had a plan when I started writing this not to be one of those guys that tries to project the idea that he knows everything. Fortunately, few of the blogs I've read do that. The bloggers are much different than the average e-list participant for which I am grateful.
I realized that in my caution not to sound like I know everything, I post about my negative perceptions of self and do not point out the positive. It may be this that makes folks shrink from the negative. More importantly by only blogging specifically about the negative, I am not presenting and acknowledging the good and the whole. So, in a step to change that...
After careful consideration and thought, I took the Oath of the Abyss some time ago and by some time ago, I mean years. Part of that oath is this, "that I will interpret every phenomenon as a particular dealing of God with my soul." While I've always been pretty good at working on my issues, this oath has had another impact. I am one of the few people I know that can respect people that don't like me, that can genuinely like people that don't care for me, and can listen to the advice of people I don't like and agree with them when they are right. I can hear the validity of a messages or the lack there of regardless of the messenger. It has been my experience that few can do that.
It is through this that I can admit to my former group my mistakes, apologize and thank them for what they tried to do, right or wrong, good or bad. I can do those things and still object to a specific event(s) or behavior(s). This is a reflection of the situational balance that I tried to communicate in a previous post. Until I tried to articulate it there, I didn't realize that I had a achieved a measure of it other places. It doesn't matter to me (anymore) that they publicly spin that as full capitulation. Maybe it isn't spin maybe they believe that it is full capitulation. I will never know. This may be me being put down the sack referenced in Karmaghna's previous post.