Wednesday, July 21, 2010


Yesterday, I posted a question about my reaction to evangelists. The input I received in this space and my own contemplation have led me to the following conclusions.

Part of the issue is a string of pre-programmed reactionary thoughts.
  1. It is my belief that a fundamental Christian belief is that there is only one way to "God". This may or may not be true. However, those that have tried to convert me have made this claim. I have even been hit with this claim by people that told me they don't believe this. I seriously doubt the theory that most Christians do not believe this but I could be wrong. 
  2. Therefor, I conclude they have an issue with my spiritual point of view and judge it inferior, void, bankrupt etc. This is likely true for some and not others.
  3. The only reason to convert me is because they believe item 2 is true. This is likely false. Though, I find it hard to believe that anyone would spend time trying convert me from my spiritual path if they did not believe one and two are true.
These thoughts make me angry, defensive and judgmental. It doesn't matter how nice Father Matthew or anyone else is. It doesn't matter what he or someone else means. These are the thoughts that go through my head. I have nothing against Father Matthew but I do have something against evangelism.

The Truth is Oft Hidden in a Lie

One of my EARLY lessons on personal alchemy fell along these same lines. Note of caution, this will offended many many of you but I do not currently believe this. I am speaking of my PAST.

In my youth, when I asked a woman out and she didn't want to go, I almost never received a no thank you. Instead, I received excuses. "Oh, I have plans that night." etc. I'd ask again and get another plausible excuse. The third time I'd figure out she she was really saying no. I viewed these excuses as lies. Which is a correct assessment, unless other plans were in fact made but often enough there were no other plans. Calling them lies is correct. However, I attached the thought that they were lying to me out of disrespect, meanness etc. This was incorrect.

The truth was they had their own concerns. They lied to me as they thought this would spare my feelings. This logic I never understood as I'm sure they figured my feelings would be hurt when I eventually figured out they didn't want to go out with me. Color me confused (then). Once or twice I got a "No, I am not interested." Which resulted in no anger or angst on my part.

My point is the truth was hidden in lie. They lied to me (true) but the conclusions I drew that their lies were disrespectful to me was the real lie. Realizing that my self-lie was indeed a lie which hid a truth (their compassionate intent) was a real eye opener. Who can argue with compassion?

NOTE: Here I use the word lie with artistic license. I do  not believe words that you believe to be true when uttered are lies. They are errors. They only become lies when you can't admit your errors and stick to your errant guns.

Using that Model I can now rework the orginal three thoughts:

  1. It is my belief that a fundamental Christian belief is that there is only one way to "God". This may or may not be true. (I will hang on to this one until proven wrong.)
  2. Therefor, I conclude they have an issue with my spiritual point of view and judge it inferior, void, bankrupt etc. This is likely true for some and not others. (Revised, they have no clue about my spiritual life, this is in their head for their reasons that have nothing to do with me or my beliefs/traditions etc.)
  3. The only reason to convert me is because they believe item 2 is true. (Revised: I have no idea why they are trying to convert me. I am still not interested in an "only one way philosophy" and much of the rest of their faith but I can't project reasons into their heads.)
In times past, I've posted about what Taphthartharath (spirit of Mercury) told me about my poisoned logic. The first set of linked ideas is an example of that. Labeling this is a huge alchemical step.

Naming a Thing is Important

One of the steps in taking on personal alchemical issues is understanding the real issue. In the example from my past, the real issue wasn't the excuses of lies, nor was it being turned down. The real issue was my projection of their intent behind the lie. Once named, that specific concern went away almost immediately.

Repeat Performance

This evangelizing issue is obviously a variation of the dating issue. It is the same thing, projection of intent. However, I like poison logic better as a name as I fool myself with poisoned emotional logic. Regardless, when you do this kind of work and succeed, the Universe will give you a bit of a break as a way of saying congratulations. Over time, sometimes quickly sometimes not, it will present another version of the same lesson. Eventually, if you pass enough tests, the issue fades and does not return. Obviously, I didn't learn the first time, so here we go again.

The Work may be Great but no one said it was pretty.

In response to a few comments to yesterday:

I do feel that comparing my unwillingness to convince others of their need to deal with HD or GD is directly comparable to the idea of Christian evangelism. Comparing someone trying to get you to change religions to someone being excited about a new retail establishment is certainly a different level and, to me, comparing apples to oranges. We will have to agree to disagree on that one.

To those that said I have issues. Yes, I know. That is why I posted. That is one of the reasons I write this blog. My intent was/is to share how one person does the work for those that do not have the good fortune of having a mentor. I share my trials so other people can succeed in theirs.

And before you say it, that is not evangelism to me. I am not trying to get people to do the work. I am merely provide an example of method to those on or nearing the path. Fine line? Okay, I will buy that.

Lastly, I haven't read and likely will not read other blogs on this topic. All they will do is get me worked up and not help me solve my issue. Call me selfish.


Peregrin said...

Care Fr,

Thank you for this ongoing discussion. As always I am happy and feel privileged you are sharing your ongoing struggles and journey here.

Your write: “It is my belief that a fundamental Christian belief is that there is only one way to "God". This may or may not be true. (I will hang on to this one until proven wrong.)”

With respect Fr, I agree with other commentators that the noise of immature Christian fundamentalism has drowned out more authentic Christian voices. This from C.S. Lewis, a very stout Anglican stalwart:

“But the truth is God has not told us told what his arrangements with the other people [non-Christians are]. We do know that no man can be saved except through Christ; we do not know that only those who know Him can be saved through Him.”

This is very subtle and expresses the situation well. It reaffirms the Reformation principle of Solo Christo (through Christ alone). Yet, it is open to what we call “Christ”, that Mystery of being and non being, working with non Christians, under different names and images. It expresses the unity that is at the heart of esotericism and a key Christian doctrine at the same time. This attitude and this theology is not a new age or liberal addition; it is at the core of the traditional catholic (universal) Christianity.

Thanks :)

Robert said...

Peregrin, you can convince me that some Christians believe this sort of thing. You will not convince me that most do.

PhoenixAngel said...

I'm not anti-Christian, just anti-Christian establishment but here's a ?:

Given: Most Christians are not willing to accept another spiritual idea of unity.

Given: Most modern magicians are not willing to do the work (Nick Farrell's blog), ie, the alchemical work.

Given: Christians and magicians are subject to being issue-ridden condition of being human and dont want to leave their overstuffed lounge chair and change the TC channel, regardless of the # of springs jabbing into their flesh.

Given (and per this blog): Lessons will keep surfacing until they're dealt with.

Isnt the lesson in this is to not be intolerant AND hypocritical, regardless if its christian or non-christian?

I still believe what you say Robert but I think that there might be a slight fallacy in the totally anti-evangelical concept. I dont care to be entertained with the Tim Burton version of the fairytale, but his vision and appeal is duly noted.

Norma said...

This is huge. Nothing is scarier to ego than revising firmly held beliefs about 'the way things really are.' Good for you.

You aren't selfish not reading others on this. You're raw. Totally understandable & IMHO a smart and self-protective choice.

Wolf said...


I have questions related to some of your previous posts.

After you got contact with your HGA, have you performed evocations of demonic hierarchies as given in Abramelin?

Have you been performing Bornless Invocation in astral form as Crowley says in Liber Samekh, or physically?

Thank you.