Friday, July 16, 2010

Change of Method

Not too long ago, I mentioned that I need a broader and deeper magickal education and that I'd be doing less blogging and more magick and research.

When I was younger, I'd max out all the reading comprehension tests. I couldn't figure out why folks couldn't read something one time and not only know it but effectively compare and contrast the material. As the brain ages, it becomes less agile. I've noticed myself rereading more.

So, if I find something worth knowing. I'm going work on outlining things as I read. I am going to study what I read rather than using material for working ideas. Yes it will take longer. I can live with that.

I have a couple of GD grade texts I'm working on. I am going to try to do the same to Jason's course. The latter is more to get me back into the material but I bet you I will know it this way better anyway.


Since the obsession was removed by the HD, I've found myself happier. Since my last visit to my mentor, I am more in control of irritability. Both of those together has not only led to a quieter happiness but a deep loving feeling directed at no one or nothing. This is most pleasant. I've noticed my thoughts being much less self-centered. I've noticed that my compassion is growing.

The obsession itself has returned. I think of it as one of those athletes you hear about from time to time that are paralyzed on the field. After being told they will not walk again, they prove the world wrong. They have one advantage over the obsession. People are helping them. I am not helping the obsession. It will be completely defeated.

That said, the anger and pain associated with it is much much less and I can turn it off. Prior to this, I could not stop myself from thinking on it. Now, if it pops up, I can 95% of the time I can. 

1 comment:

simon said...

I was just talking with my girlfriend a little bit ago about noticing how magick and ritual work feels almost exactly like taking MAOI inhibitors. Im taking a break till the end of the month on practicing and already I feel some of the old stuff beginning to stir.