Last night, there was a 'download' of information regarding swords. There are a lot of unpleasant realities to face there. For someone seeking unity, solidifying his HGA union and, eventually, to cross the abyss, there is no way to avoid these times. I have faced them before. I will face them again. Fear is not the right word to describe my emotions about it this time through. I know the process is not instantaneous. I know I will survive.
The fear is coming from someplace else. The fear is the deep reality I am facing. The fear comes from the understanding of a greater 'reality' behind the illusionary one. Perhaps, it is a reality I am ill equipped to deal with. No, that is a rationalization for the emotion. The emotion simply is. Maybe, once I experience that reality, I will be able to understand the source of the fear. Terror.
Perhaps, I am about to lose my fear of death. Perhaps, not.
Something is getting pealed away. Something will fill the vacuum. Maybe that something already has. I feel as if I am jumping off a high dive blindfolded. I am trusting that there is water in pool below.