Monday, January 19, 2009

Fear

Last night, there was a 'download' of information regarding swords. There are a lot of unpleasant realities to face there. For someone seeking unity, solidifying his HGA union and, eventually, to cross the abyss, there is no way to avoid these times. I have faced them before. I will face them again. Fear is not the right word to describe my emotions about it this time through. I know the process is not instantaneous. I know I will survive.

The fear is coming from someplace else. The fear is the deep reality I am facing. The fear comes from the understanding of a greater 'reality' behind the illusionary one. Perhaps, it is a reality I am ill equipped to deal with. No, that is a rationalization for the emotion. The emotion simply is. Maybe, once I experience that reality, I will be able to understand the source of the fear. Terror.

Perhaps, I am about to lose my fear of death. Perhaps, not.

Something is getting pealed away. Something will fill the vacuum. Maybe that something already has. I feel as if I am jumping off a high dive blindfolded. I am trusting that there is water in pool below.

2 comments:

David said...

An article on Fear you might enjoy from another tradition: http://warlockasylum.wordpress.com/discovering-the-simon-necronomicons-authenticity-part-2-finding-fear/

Frater BH said...

Thank you. Much of that is in alignment with my experience at different stages of the game. Though, the Chinese medicine is well, Chinese to me.

Very cool article.