After my last soul reading, I whined on Facebook. "I wish I could do for myself what I do for others."
I have been fighting with myself using old self-destructive thought habits the last few days. Last week, I went on my first date since being dumped a while back. On that date, I ran into my ex 150 miles from her home but less than one mile from mine. She was engaging in behavior that she cited as a major reason for dumping me. To say I was shocked at the timing of that encounter would be an understatement. Really, on my first date since? Dear Universe, you have GOT to be kidding me.
On the upside, my date was classy and understood.
Initially, I noticed something about her that brought up genuine concern.There were several days of being very internally quiet. Looking back, I can see that I shut down a bit. Then I got mad at the ex. I spun on my own pointless internal dialog for a few days. The night before last, I got very little sleep. Last night, I was getting even less and I remembered my Facebook whining.
I got up, meditated and looked for the harmful thoughts. I got rid of them. BAM. I went out like a light and got some sleep. I survived the day and expect to sleep like a baby tonight.
That is the first time I have managed to magickally remove my own though patterns like that.
Seeing Naked People
I reported seeing a woman naked from the waste down during a healing. It looked perfectly normal but it turned out that I wasn't seeing her. The last two times I've done soul readings for men, I have seen very similar things. Only with men, their penises are way too large to be mistaken for reality. Yes, this may be a sign of trust. I do not think it is pervy as I am not interested in men. I think it may have more to do with seeing people's Nephesch than anything else. Obviously, genitalia is related to that.
Frankly, I have no firm opinion on this yet.
5 comments:
Don't know what to say. I've run into exes a few times at long distances from both our homes, but rarely very close to my own.
Keep at it, and remember to encourage others even if your own results are not particularly encouraging at any given time!
"I wish I could do for myself what I do for others."
oh, but you have frater? give yourself a lil credit sometimes.
listen to this LOUD: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geX18wArfko
bah, I don't buy that for a moment.
And phoenix, do not pretend to comfort or show sympathy. What happened between her and I was exactly what you wanted and exactly what you tried to destroy on your own (and failed). One does not get what they want in that way and then act kindly. I do not buy that either.
For those of us who obsess, please elaborate on how you "got rid of" the negative thoughts in meditation. It is a useful practice and my low frequency mind forms cling to me like white on rice, LOL.
How do you let them go?
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