Jack the Ripper Victim

Some of you may remember that I did a soul reading and found the person to be a murder victim. I was stunned to learn I believed she was murdered by Jack the Ripper. I mean really, what are the odds? I first mentioned this person during this post, Tough Soul Reading. I also mentioned her in Hodge Podge.

She did a consultation with my friend Audra who has more experience with past life stuff than I do. They reached the conclusion that she was murdered in New York. There is some that belief that the Ripper moved to New York after the White Chapel murders but who knows? Audra suggested she build a memorial altar to the her past-life self. She couldn't do that as she was moving but she did it 'in her head'.

She reports her life has changed a great deal.

• She can't remember dreaming in color before now. Her old dreams, few and far between and none of recent vintage, were in black and white. Now she dreams every night. Her dreams are long and in color. I believe she is willing to access the deeper parts of herself now and that accounts for being able to recall dreams.
• She has always been a person that felt that she needed to hide. She is now engaging in activities that bring the risk of her being front and center. There has been no fear reaction at all. She is embracing it.
• She is dating a new man.
• When I read her she was sad and lonely. Now she says she is very happy with where her life is.
• Prior to this people ignored her even when she was helping them out. Now she is receiving appreciation for her efforts.

I am quite pleased with these results. This is why I do the soul readings. 

Self Healing, Part II

It was nice to hear from Yvonne the other day in the comments section. We haven't communicated much of late. She asked how one stops the obsessive mental spinning. A trait she and I apparently share. I would love to be able to answer that. I think part of it was being willing not to suppress the harmful thoughts. Obviously, something remained unprocessed. I feel that suppression of hurtful emotions is not helpful and it is okay to experience them from time to time. That said, I was finally able to remove the current energy of the thoughts like I do for others during my healing sessions. It just takes the thought's perpetual motion machine out of the equation. I see these things as colors around a person. They are of fixed form but more or less shapeless blobs. They look a bit like wax droppings that have cooled in unusual shapes only with more vitality to them. Once I see them, they are pretty easy to move and dispose of with just a directing thought. This was the first time time I was able to do that for myself. This was particularly helpful as I don't think of my ex on a regular basis. It was merely the shock of seeing her here on my first date since the break up that started those thoughts going. Removing their energy solved most of the problem. Had I been ultra obsessive like I was after the very bad thing, I am not sure if it would have had any long term impact. Though, it likely would have given some relief and allowed sleep.

Self Help

After my last soul reading, I whined on Facebook. "I wish I could do for myself what I do for others."

I have been fighting with myself using old self-destructive thought habits the last few days. Last week, I went on my first date since being dumped a while back. On that date, I ran into my ex 150 miles from her home but less than one mile from mine. She was engaging in behavior that she cited as a major reason for dumping me. To say I was shocked at the timing of that encounter would be an understatement. Really, on my first date since? Dear Universe, you have GOT to be kidding me.

On the upside, my date was classy and understood.

Initially, I noticed something about her that brought up genuine concern.There were several days of being very internally quiet. Looking back, I can see that I shut down a bit. Then I got mad at the ex. I spun on my own pointless internal dialog for a few days. The night before last, I got very little sleep. Last night, I was getting even less and I remembered my Facebook whining. I got up, meditated and looked for the harmful thoughts. I got rid of them. BAM. I went out like a light and got some sleep. I survived the day and expect to sleep like a baby tonight.

That is the first time I have managed to magickally remove my own though patterns like that.

Seeing Naked People

I reported seeing a woman naked from the waste down during a healing. It looked perfectly normal but it turned out that I wasn't seeing her. The last two times I've done soul readings for men, I have seen very similar things. Only with men, their penises are way too large to be mistaken for reality. Yes, this may be a sign of trust. I do not think it is pervy as I am not interested in men. I think it may have more to do with seeing people's Nephesch than anything else. Obviously, genitalia is related to that.

Frankly, I have no firm opinion on this yet.

Unexpected Results of Healing

I did an in person soul reading Sunday. I was dead on. I saw life events, modes of thought, an angel that stands right next to/within this person and revealed this man's soul purpose. I saw where his talent came from. It was a privilege. When I was done and for some time afterwards, the person was near tears. I think they were tears of relief and having one's knowledge and abilities confirmed by a third party.

The unexpected result was an idea. If I can connect that deeply with a person, is there a reason why I could not connect that deeply with a larger body of people? Could I read the soul of a business, a city, or things similar?

I have been working with the alcoholic. She has learned some things. Last night, she shared them with me and I learned. That too was unexpected.

The other day, I received an email from someone that I have performed a soul reading and a healing on. She asked why she feels so at peace and is concerned with strangers after our sessions. She is not the first person to comment on this. I believe this is because when I work with people, I stimulate the connections between their highest souls and their awareness. This reminds people of who they are and that all is well. It is the lower souls that feel pain. The higher souls know everything is well and always will be. This small understanding is unexpected to many people.

My Nephesch

A little while back, Flower did a soul reading for me when I was able to reverse the process a bit. She found out household spirit standing over me.  She said it wasn't malevolent or benevolent it just was. This is the way I always saw it too.

She sees this figure as a very muscular man a bit too broad in the shoulders. I see it as a hairy thing. We have realized that it has tried to speak to the cat. It scared the cat. So, we leave it some water and it has agreed not to annoy the cat. Something Flower said about it intrigued me. She said, that he was hungry that "it was time to be fed."

Since then, my Nephesch as been very active. It has acted out in a variety of ways.  So far not in anyway that had been harmful. Though, I did piss someone off. Mostly because the other is a bit defensive but also because I could have left something alone.

I have learned a couple of things.

First of all, is about something I have already reported. Because of some emotional neglect I received as a child, I have a tendency to chase after those that reject me. I rationalize my actions and theirs. My sudden realization was that everyone does that. However, I verbally express my rationalizations and try to  explain away other people's. This is NOT HELPFUL to anyone.

Second of all, I am kicking around the idea that all levels of the soul need our active maintenance. I am not sure how to do that but I have a feeling, if I am right, I will be taught.

IF and that is a big IF, what does it mean that part of my soul has externalized so that others can see it. Many people that have visited my house has seen whatever that is.

Personal Meditations

It has been a while since I did the MM as designed, calmly patiently and asking for nothing. I did that last night.

I got hammered fast. I was immediately thrown into memories of the break up of my last relationship and with given instances with my former mentor. I didn't sleep last night very well and today was very sad.

I have no idea if this stems from me alone or a bit of cyber magick I spotted recently. The latter seems a bit paranoid and arrogant but I cannot deny the thump I received when I viewed it nor my day today. This is just a speculation.

The real work has to do with what I've experienced in the last twenty-four hours. I am unsure of what I am being taught.

Synchronicities

I had to call in to work for the last two days with my back issue. This is the first time in over a 100 days when I felt the pain enough to call in sick. Though I did have one day of numbness that caused a problem. I have had no need to take pain medication above a Tylenol in that time.

I am not writing about that so much. In those two days, I have 'been there' for people that are upset, need a friend or some sort of magick. I am being deliberately vague about what I was needed for. In both these cases, I could not have helped were I at work. I have noticed in the past that time off of work resulted in increased emails and phone calls from people in need. I used to think that was because we are more stressed during work hours and we relax when we go home. That makes sense to get a call in that situation when folks know you're home. However, it is unlikely these people knew I was home this time around.

I am beginning to wonder about such synchronicities.

Regardless, it is wonderful to be of service to those in need especially when it can be so successful.

Update Healing:

I have reported working on the Clear One, aka Audra, and her food allergies and stomach issues. I found she had spent way too much time in the astral and the link between her etheric body and physical body was almost non-existent.

She is now feeling much better. She can eat a bigger variety of foods because her food allergies have diminished. She reports feeling physically healthy! I am thrilled.

Update Soul Reading

I received a nice note from the person I was reading for last night but failed. She pointed out all the things that were spot on and those that I saw but could not interpret. Several things happened last night and each partially explain the difficulty I had. I am not going to cover them here in part due to this person's privacy and in part because the other things are complex and likely should not be discussed publicly. The have little directly to do with me anyway. Sorry to be so vague. I know it drives some of you nuts but I have to on this one.

Soul Reading Fail

I read a soul tonight. I got a bit of it right. I saw some things. I could not see enough. It was like paying the entrance fee to a National Park and only seeing the area viable from the ranger booth. Part of this was because the person has some serious difficulties with sharing and openness but I have faced that before. No matter how I tried I couldn't 'see' or 'hear'. I did get some emotional impressions.

I am going to try her again next week. Prior to that, I am going to do some meditation and ask my highest self for guidance. If I can't read her next Wednesday, I will be refunding her money.

This is a first.

Starry Soul

At some point in doing the Manifestation Meditation, I was introduced to something I call the starry soul.  This looks like a night sky, vast and full of stars. I am not sure what this is. It feels much less personal. Is this a bridge between the microcosmic and macrocosmic?

I am trying to experience this by going through myself using the MM. To say it is subtle is an understatement. I am not having a great deal of luck that I am capable of explaining. I feel something...tangentially...but I am not writer enough to explain those feelings.

The Starry Soul and Healing

As I have reported, I have been working with My Gal. She has having problems with her liver issues. She has been nauseous for two weeks. I have been able to calm that down for a few hours to a day. I used the MM to heal as I always do. This time, I included the starry soul.

I was able to find much deeper issues. I healed some deeper issues the starry soul revealed to me, including the emotional damage from our past relationship and the original motivation for the magick she did that caused or exacerbated her liver issues. She has been fine for over two days. At the very least, this is an improvement.

I am calmly excited by this discovery, even if I cannot explain it. I am hoping this will allow me to heal physical issues in a much more complete way.

Speaking of Healing

The Agnostic is sleeping well and much less anxiety ridden. No job yet and probably isn't looking but I think she is less miserable.

Mind Reading

Last night, I had an idea. I have by doing a lot of work with My Gal. Her liver issues have been flaring and making her nauseaeous. I can calm that down better than the medication she gets for it. As I mentioned, the illness comes back. It is a chronic condition.

It occurred to me that I could make a talisman and charge it by inserting into the energy flow I use to pull the toxins out of her. The tricky part is exposing to the pulling energy but not the toxins. As I was thinking of how to do this. My mind slid into a spot. I heard Flower's thoughts perfectly. I asked her if that was what she was thinking. I had the quote exactly correct.

I am not sure I could get there by trying but I know I can get there. So, this talisman can be made with that technique. I will continue to work on it.

Having My Soul Read

First, in my last post, Gain and Shame, I chastised myself for seeing someone I was healing graphically naked. This disturbed me. One of my saving graces in magick is that I am not afraid or ashamed to share my challenges. I firmly believe hiding your mistakes is a sign of an ego problem.

In this case, the mistake was not what I thought it was.

The person was not the first person I have seen naked in such a circumstance. The first was a soul reading while this one was an emotional healing. The first did not bother me over much. This one did. Why I am not sure. In neither case did I make a pass, flirt or was even tempted to do so.

I did the Meditation and was told that this was a sign that the person was not hiding from me. They trusted me enough to be fully exposed. It should be noted that what I saw did not match reality. So, I am not really seeing anyone naked. I am getting a symbol of trust. Obvious when you stop to think about it.

My mistakes were a) freaking out  about it and b) sharing my issue with someone I was healing. To me, the latter was a far bigger mistake because it could have freaked her out. I could have taken away an opportunity for someone to heal.

Having My Soul Read


So, I figured turn about was fair play. Actually, I asked Lon DuQuette recently how I can so easily heal others but not myself. He laughed and said it is sort of like turning around real fast to look at the back of your own head. He then suggested I give my ability to heal to someone else so they can heal me. This gave me the idea of doing the Meditation, linking to Flower and then reversing the link so she could read me.

The problem was that Flower does not translate images and magickal things into words very well. She often has a hard time speaking.

Initially, she saw the household spirit standing next to me. we are not sure what this is. We get no benevolence from it and no malevolence. She said this figure grew strong and muscular and for a moment she thought it was me. That gets significant later.

She then looked at my Nephesch and found a little boy. This is not an unusual image. She saw adult broad shouldered men walking away from me. This makes sense as I have never had a strong relationship with father figures. When my father left my mother his lover, who later became his wife, asked him how I would handle it. He replied, "I don't know him. I have no idea how he will react." I was twelve.

Flower then saw many men pass by my life their shadows falling up me only to then move on with their lives and me always waiting to go somewhere but never knowing where. Never did she see a female in this.

She looked to my automatic personality and saw an alarm clock and felt the inspiration to move and grow. There was no goal just the need to grow. The latter makes obvious sense. The former made sense to me. I have always had a sense of urgency in this work. I always have felt my time was running out. I have described my quest as a race to bewildered elders. They don't get that I'm not racing against anyone just time.

She looked to my Ruach (Divine Personality) and saw a cop. This bewildered her. I later explained that people's HGA often makes an appearance in people's dreams as authority figures and in this culture that often appears as a police officer. I drew from this that my belief that I have my HGA contact is correct.

This image merged into me just like the last one. This makes me wonder if my household spirit is an externalized version of my Nephesch. I have no idea on that one.

She then saw that 'left behind' motif and the loneliness it brings. I could tell she was hit hard by the next bit. She says it comes form a long long time ago. This is lifetimes and lifetimes.

Flower saw a need for balance between black and white. This confused her because she doesn't see me as a black and white guy. This is not unusual. Many of my friends would say I have a very black and white viewpoint. The rest would say that is ridiculous. Though, I think she was just talking about the interplay of opposites.

Then she tried for the greater neschemah, the immortal soul. She found blackness, a huge expanse of space and darkness. Within was a bright white light. so bright she could not look at it. She just kept whispering. "You are so close. So close to the God. You are so close. So close to the God."

I could take this as success in my work. Then again, what do I always say? We are all so very close.

Gain and Shame

Well I am not sure of either a gain or a shame but it seemed a good headline.

The Gain is that today I did the MM and prayed to stay in control and not blow my temper at work. It was a ridiculous day. Ridiculous. I was frustrated, depressed and utterly at a loss but I did not get mad at anyone. I didn't let my frustration make me do uncouth things.

I think the gain there may be that I anticipated roughness when there was no reason to. I prayed in advance to handle it. I think that is some indication that I am more in the flow of things. Aware even when I am not aware that I am aware.

The shame came with a healing session last night. Frankly, I did a very good job. I know I saw the right things and gave great advice. Then I saw my client naked from the waist down. It was clear as day like she was before me in real life. There was a unique detail to that vision.

She gave me a good reason for seeing her that way because of an event that happened earlier that day. That event was not sexual. However, I checked with her about a very specific detail. It was wrong. So, did I project nakedness onto her? Am I sexualizing the reading in some way? While there was no danger of me making a pass at all or even trying to flirt in the mildest way, I am disturbed.

It has been my experience that those that sexualize the type of magick I do face explosions and failure. I do not want to ever be thought of as abusing the trust given to me by my clients. Ever. No Matter What. I have no idea what this means.

I am concerned.

Realization

I had a realization after a healing session last night.

I have often said that I am a human pharmacy. If you can get a cure through over the counter medication, I can help. There was an internal caveat about that. I thought that since the pain or sleeplessness came back that I didn't rate as a healer. The realization was that the medicine doctors give do the same thing. You take them, they work (more or less) and wear off. Then you take them again.

I am working with someone with severe liver issues. I can make her feel better in less than five minutes. No drugs. No drug feelings. No additional things for her liver to work on.

The difference is that when I make pain or discomfort go away I do so without poisoning the body. In some respects, this makes me a step ahead of doctors in some circumstances. Does that make any difference in my ability to heal? No. It does make a difference in self-confidence and willingness to work more in depth though.

Doctors can only cut you, burn you or poison you. I do something else.

Writing Posts

I am having a very hard time writing posts. My grammar sucks. I am using sentence fragments and not communicating well. So, I don't publish. I was getting annoyed that I was posting and not writing on the book. I'd get that urge to write, post and it would fade. No book.

So, the urge to write is coming back. I am hoping my lack of posts mean that my energy is redirecting toward the book and my book writer's block is over. We will See

Spot Taken

The discounted Soul Reading offered yesterday was snatched up in a couple of hours.

Healing Obligation and Special Offer

I haven't posted much of late.

Last night, I did a soul reading for "the Witch" that she found very helpful. Today, I relieved the suffering of an ill person. When I do these things, I feel obligated to do more.

If there is someone that has been wanting a soul reading but can't afford it. I will give the first person that emails me a soul reading to be scheduled a week from Wednesday (6/20)for ONLY $75. Normal price is $175.

Obsession Returns?

Long before the very bad thing that happened so long ago, I was what I will call serially obsessive. I would get interested in a topic or activity and engage in a frenzy of activity around that thing. After a few months, that would go away and a few months after that, something else would catch my attention. It never caused a negative life experience.

I am now playing disc golf three or four days a week. Sometimes I play a round with friends. Sometimes, like today, I played 3 rounds of 18 holes on my own. Well, if on my own means I just pick up whomever else is running around out there and play along.

Since I've played that regularly, my back has not hurt but once or twice. Neither time did I need vicoden. So, it has been nearly 3 months without any at all. At the moment, I am crediting the disc golf for that. I believe I am playing so much because it feels really good to be active after been down so long with back issues.

My friend, Bert, told me he was concerned that I was getting obsessed. I understand his concern. I think this is just the 'new thing' excitement for me. If it is a problem, at least it is physically healthy. I'd much rather have this than the old 'bad thing' obsession.

More importantly, I appreciate that he said something. Friends that care enough to pay attention to your life and have the courage to say something if they believe something is amiss are priceless. That is the type of friend you need if you do theurgic work. I suggest you go out and find one or two.