I spoke on the Golden Dawn today at four Anthropology courses at Fresno State University. The talks went well. No one fell asleep or died. I have done this before. Yet tonight I am exhausted.Tired. Tired. Tired. Stress from speaking? No, I don't think so.
I am tired because I feel spiritually stuck. I feel like I am not growing. My HGA who has been more vocal of late disagrees and points to a couple of major life steps. I can see them as that but those things don't fundamentally assist my growth in any way I can see at the moment. My mentor has been silent and non-communicative for some time. My drive appears to be fizzling in some ways.
6 comments:
Frater,
could you tell us which technique you used to invoke HGA to get contact & conversation with him? Is it standard Golden Dawn Bornless Invocation or some other?
Thank you.
Do you think your stuckness is a "dark night of the soul," that is a veiled sign of spiritual progress? Are there tools for telling the difference between a "dark night" and simple spiritual boredom?
Don't forget that there isn't just movement. The gnostic scriptures speak of a movement and a rest.
In military terms: Once you conquer new territory, you have to consolidate it before you move on. Otherwise you'll just lose it again.
Perhaps you're in a rest period.
Ugh. Whine. whine whine. whine whine. You seriously sound like a kid instead of a trained ceremonial magician.
"Im bored!"
"Sister hurt me!"
"Daddy's not giving me enough attention!"
Go to your room and do some magick this instant and dont come out until you are ready!
monsignor said it best...
Trust that HGA--persist!
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