Tuesday, February 23, 2010
I'm a fair hand at the tarot. The resolution to one issue was silence as represented by Harpocrat on one of the cards. The other was the end of the monkey mind represented by the two of swords. I focussed on the later.
The twos all mean "nothing can stop you now" in one form or another as I read the cards. I took a leap and conjured the archangel of Chockmah Ratziel. It was a bit harder to reach him than Kedemel using his sigil written on a black mirror. When I first recieved a taste of him (her? it?) he counseled persistence. I listened and continued.
He said my problem was "the imaginary other". I immediately understood. I see the actions, be they good bad or indifferent, and create the the 'whole' in my mind. This created image is something I can defend with the poisoned logic Taphtharath pointed out to me.
I began to ask to understand the real whole of many people. Naturally, I saw not their 'whole' but a new aspect. The friend I mentioned above feels he owes me debt. This feeling was so profound that it was nearly overwhelming. Yet, this man owes me nothing at all, nothing. Yet, I'm confident I understood a part of him I never knew before no did he ever hint at.
I was given a glimpse of some others too. Some friends, some not. A work friend K really does love me. It isn't romantic love of any sort but one of kindness and friendship. That was nice. I've always thought her to be quite kind.
I glimpsed my silent mentor, close friends, work acquaintances. With each viewing of a greater part of them. I felt more whole. Peace profound. At some point, I saw the figure of Harpocrat as he appears in the Thoth tarot.
In rereading this, the trance seemed quite short but I assure it lasted quite a long time or at least felt like it. I have, of course, not relayed what I saw when I was shown greater parts of others than I had perceived.
The trance states using the black mirror have been very effective. This technique has become an instant favorite. My only concern is that it is a bit like being on drugs in that coming down is hard. It isn't hard as in difficult but more like the trance state lasts long after I've left the altar.