Edited to omit some inflammatory language:
On January 6, I posted about compassion, Compassion is Forgiveness. I said that many advise to forgive but none tell you how to do that. Further, those that offer said advice most strenuously are usually incapable of forgiving.
I posit that by imagining the pains the other experiences that motivates a person to perform the offending act(s) and having compassion for one in such pain, one can unify with the essential humanness of the other and that understanding leads to forgiveness.
Kalibex commented, "And if harm is done to a person by someone without a conscience (IE, no inner suffering)?"
Getting past this idea is quite difficult. It is usually among the most difficult for those pursuing a life of Being. Long time readers of this blog know how hard I struggled with it. In fact, I still do from time to time. The person that damaged me has done so to many others. I believe it is her plan and that she takes some enjoyment from causing long term sexually related emotional distress. If she were male, she'd use other methods of sexual control. Instead, she uses manipulation, distortions, lies and set-up scenarios to do her work. She is about power and control over others. I also believe at a fundamental level she knows of the less than holy nature of her actions and how that reflects upon her being. Frankly, I do believe her peers should intervene and see if they can reroute her actions. They won't and I can't. However, that has nothing to do with me.
However, think of the distress she must be in to do such things. Either that our she has no humanity whatsoever. This too is worthy of compassion.
Compassion is shared suffering through sympathy and/or empathy. It is about both parties. Forgiveness is not about the other person but expanding one's own heart and being. I can have compassion for the pain she submits herself to. I can feel it quite deeply. This does not make me a weak person. On the other hand, forgiveness has nothing really to do with the other person at all. It simply means that you can experience agape for the most difficult people in your life. Those that can almost convince you that there is no G-d, no justice and no hope in aspiring; The fact that they can't quite do that is their gift.
They teach that the human spirit, our divinity, our link to the All cannot be extinguished. These things are immortal and within us all forever. We can kindle those flames when we so choose and those that attack us so are trying to make put out our light, Otherwise they must flee from it for darkness always flees from the light. Their actions our proof of our divinity, vision and purpose. Our love for them, agape, will return that same gift. It is therefore our duty, in the long term, to love our enemy.
I am closer to making that a reality.