Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Getting My Ass Kicked
This time I was talking to my friend Jackie. I made the point that humans are so multi-dimensional that we often don't see other aspects of folks with think we know. She said that even worse there are parts of ourselves we refuse to see. So, and not without some trepidation, I asked her what I refuse to see in myself. I expected some negative comment. I knew that she wouldn't duck. Then she hit me with this.
"I think that you are harder on yourself than anyone else. but, I think you know that. I rarely see you cut yourself any slack...you've done some pretty damn awesome things, and you should take some time to realize it."
She then pointed out that I talk to angels. HELLO? Yeah, that is awesome. She then went on and listed some other things that are indeed pretty cool. I expected to get my ass kicked and instead, I was told that I ignore the positive in myself and then had to deal with a list of things that are great. I under value these things.
One of the items that she mentioned, I will not mention here because it is a trait that pisses off others and most would like it if I didn't have that trait. However, my mentor has that too. The difference is in the externalization of that trait and how it is communicated.
This is typical Leo behavior. Confident externally and beating oneself up internally, fighting the extremes of the ego. Maybe I need to give myself some credit once in a while and the occasional break.
I don't value friends that refuse to have the difficult conversations when they are needed. It displays a lack of trust. I need to learn to value the friends that also point out the positive when I need to hear it.