The other day, I had a talk with Mr. Craig Slee, aka VI. As far as I can tell, the discussion has nothing to do with this post directly. Last night, I had a dream that also has nothing to do with this post. Some combination of the discussion and the dream led me to realize something. This is the equivalent of adding two and two and coming up with with sixteen without being aware of the intermediate steps.
2 + 2 = 4; 4 + 4 = 8 and 8 + 8 = 16.
There is a difference between those that need to help and those that are available to help. Both may have the skill set you need but the former adds too much of himself into the equation. This results in a perpetual need to return to him or her because the help you get is almost helpful. You feel like things are just around the next metaphorical bend in the road. Yet, whatever that thing is never seems to come. Those that are available to help provide assistance based on their experience combined with the just enough knowledge about yourself to be able to speak with you, in your language. They keep out of your way and let you evolve your way.
I share the Manifestation Meditation and perform as a life coach knowing these things in a way I never knew when I taught Golden Dawn stuff. The difference between my two approaches leads to an understanding of needing versus being.
When I taught before, I needed to be understood. That isn't teaching. That is seeking validation. That is needing to be the expert. Others that taught me, needed to be appreciated, loved, seen as the expounders of the mysteries. That too is seeking validation and emotionally needing to fill in an inner void. Both I and they did provide valuable insight and information. However, it was based on ego and thereby incomplete.
It is the ego that projects a false image of itself and therefore needs its projection reflected in the eyes of students. This is not a manifestation of attainment but a watery reflection that wavers as soon as a falling leaf touches the surface of a pool. That leaf being any probing question of spirit that touches the inner void space of the teacher.
Being is having an understanding of one's own universe and living 'in place'. Nothing can shake you from that place. This allows one to be available to answer questions, ask them and lend a helping hand without owning (and thus trying to control) the result. It leaves the student with the ability to answer her own questions and thus satisfy her spiritual needs.
This applies to more than teachers. I know a woman that does good work at the office but the work is a reflection of her need to be recognized. She labors under the false illusion that recognition will fill the void. It never will. So much more content would she be if she performed work directly for the benefit it offered both herself and others. Those benefits being significantly intangible. Double bonus points if she could get paid for it too. With her brains and talent she could do this. Never will she do it to fulfill a void. Never will she do it to fulfill an unnecessary need
Needs can be quite real and there is nothing negative in fulfilling them. More on that in a future post. However, one must learn to fulfill needs of being -- of spirit -- rather than the projections of ego. How do you tell? First, you recognize you are trying to fulfill a need. Then look for examples of successfully doing so. If in those moments you still have a tight gut, inner pain, and feelings of insecurity, you are fulfilling a false need of ego that will never be satisfied. When you are quiet and content for the long term, you are meeting your spirit needs. Again, more on that in a future post.
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