Flower and I haven't worked much together for some time. A few months back, I had four straight nights of dreams involving snakes. In the first, a woman handed me a snake that was in the shape of an infinity symbol. She was huge and I couldn't see above her shoulders. I missed the symbolism of that. After the fourth dream, I told Flower about them. She said that she'd been dreaming of snakes too. Her little girl was also waking after dreams of snakes.
That is when it hit me. She was calling us. Just then Flower than I became quite ill with pneumonia. We made it back into circle once we healed and something unusual happened.
Flower, is quite cautious. The gods try to get her to understand what they want of her. Sometimes, like all of us, she does not get it. Other times, it seems like a refusal to understand or a refusal to put what she knows in practice. Earth signs! This time, the Helpful Deity took care of that. I could 'see' the resistance in her mind being removed. I could see earthen shelves against the wall so her mind. One moment they were there, the next the faded and in a heartbeat they were gone. Cool stuff! She said that she has never felt so comfortable with the Goddess. She has always liked male deities best.
We wondered how this would impact her life. Slowly the changes became apparent. She is becoming much more accepting of change. In fact, I have seen her start to have fun with it.
Last week we felt the call again. We both knew it was strong beyond what we have felt before.
Our circle technique is unique. I don't know of anyone that does it this way. We sit in temple space in meditation. I am 'given' a mantra. I repeat it until I feel it is time to stand up. I repeat the mantra until the Hermes enters me and the Helpful Deity enters Flower.
The entire affair can get intense and quite stoic and They have chided us for that in the past. "Wear some color!", "Have fun", "Why so dour?" Many of our rituals are more fun but when we can wind up suddenly finding ourselves chatting with Hades in his lair to Pan playing his pipes upon a thinly forested trail to standing within a field of stars, one does have a tendency to take things seriously. Though we never shy away from where we are taken.
This time, I cannot share anything about the ritual itself. I can say this. It was the most intense ritual I have ever participated in. I laughed. I cried. I revealed in Their presence. At times, I could not tell the difference between Them and myself. As usual I spoke words that were not my own but this time there was so much less me there. If He wanted me to stand on my roof naked and cluck like a chicken, I would have. I am appreciative that He did not want this of me.
There was I time when I was full me. The big me. The one full of soul, connected spirit whose humanness is minimal. That me said, "Take everything. Take it all. Take everything." I begged and pleaded with the Goddess. "Take it!" I have little idea of what I was asking Her to take. I did so without fear. I wanted to crawl into Her toes and pop out her head. I have never been so alive.
Flower has never embodied the Goddess so completely I was proud of her. After she said like she left parts of herself all over the universe. Fits with the theme of me begging to have everything taken away.
As for the results, I will let you know