Demons are Your Friends

Long ago, I took an oath. Part of that oath was that I will view every encounter, every event in my life as a direct communication between G-d and my soul. I have made every effort to do that. Though, I haven't always understood the message.

One of the conclusions I have drawn is that everything in my life is a spiritual learning experience. That isn't a big a deal, as many others have reached that obvious conclusion. The trick is actually learning from as many events as you can. When you learn spiritual lessons from those events, you embody a greater amount of spirituality. This is no different from learning everything you can about your financial life. A middle class person with a financial focus can become quiet secure financially.

Demons are f---ed up little creatures with lots of power. They circle your life creating all sorts of havoc. They may interfere with relationships, self-esteem, the gain of knowledge, finances and the like. The upside is that any one demon interferes with the same category of event. One demon may mess with you at work, in your family life, and social situations but when you figure out it is only one demon, you may realize he is messing with your ability to communicate. Bam! You suddenly learn a lot about communication. To learn about communication, you have to know how things are being heard. To know that, you have to understand who is listening etc. The wealth of knowledge just from understanding the nature of one's demon is huge.

The spiritually-minded learn from life. Demons are your friends because they give you that opportunity to learn. They make the situation so obvious that you have to do something about it. Denial is not an option.

Now, if you are unwilling to learn in this life or do not learn lessons that way, then demons are nasty little creatures and if you feel negatively towards them, I totally understand.

On a related note...

Your demons can literally show up as your friends or other people in your life. Major General Dana Pittard's command had a declining suicide rate while the rest of the army's was climbing. He attributed this to his command's emphasis on obtaining treatment, without repercussion. In an interview on NPR, I heard him say that if your squad leader is old school and tells you to suck it up and get over it then to you, he IS THE ARMY.

Stop and think about that for a moment. One person at the proper junction point can BE over half a million people*, at least as far as you are concerned.

I have had a couple of such experiences. One was a person that kept a secret from me regarding the fallout of the very bad thing. Thoughts about that one incident prevented me from moving forward. This person was so high on my list of 'spiritual people' that I thought the secret had meaning and insight for my spiritual life. My intense drive for spiritual growth hit this barrier and drove me batty, crazy; I was nuttier than a fruitcake and mentally as busy as a hole-plugger in a Swiss cheese factory.

At the same time, I was making all sorts of progress spiritually but that one thing was a ring pass not, he was the demon** guardian of one threshold. Long time readers will remember the angst I spewed forth on these pages about that.  Eventually, I learned the secret or at least what he told others. At first I was angry, very angry. The 'secret' was a myth. It never happened. It was so full of amateurish bullshit that anyone that was there knew it was a lie. The secret was the equivalent of asking "What is in my pocket," when one's pocket is empty. The relief was immense. I had allowed myself to be held back by a lie. A lie. A LIE. That  is what demons do.

The power of a demon is that it is a barrier to your expansion. It has no other abilities. NONE. ZERO. Getting past that lie and being myself has released me into an entirely new world -- of my own creation.

Earlier, I said that understanding the nature of the one's demon has huge ramifications. Understanding how my friend used that lie for himself with others was a moment of great insight as well. I suddenly learned that people act in accordance with their spirit up to their capacity for its manifestation. At that point, their issues arise, their barrier, their demon. There is almost never any harm intended (unless harming others is the issue). Once I looked at behaviors as an expression of spirit and capacity, I gained a much greater understanding for and respect of my fellow humans.

This in turn lead to a level of clarity. I have run into some folks on Facebook from my past.*** Instead of buying into people baiting me, I let their issues pass on by. As such, I have named their demons.

• I am insecure (Therefore I will try to get you to behave badly as that makes me feel better by comparison)
• I will help you (To prove that I will cause or exacerbate an existing issue and then 'be there for you')
• I do not understand (Therefore, you are bad.)****

The hidden internal dream dialogue for these people is, I have achieved, I am giving (or altrustic) and I know. Each of these has a life or behavioral manifestation: belittling others; spending time with needy people; the rejection of ideas not immediately compatible with one's own.

It should be noted that the persons I am referring to would not see themselves this way. This are how their issues manifest as a demon TO ME. Even were I to be 100% accurate in their universe, which I am not, everyone is bigger and better than their demons. Demons are just barriers to expansion. For me, encountering these demons brought on feelings of insecurity and/or anger.

Sometime last week I encountered one of these demons in the form of a former friend on Facebook throwing up a version of 'the secret'. The demon had no power at all. In fact, I didn't realize I encountered it for three or four days. I have surpassed those demons and this leaves me feeling great compassion for those still wrestling with them.  I know the pain of dealing with such nasty creatures. Do not interpret that as pity.

If you'll excuse me now, I have to go deal with the demons I still have to face. They are mine and they are legion.

* As of 2011 there were 565,000 active in the army, per http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0004598.html

** By demon I mean my demon not that this person is a demon in any particular sense of the word or is a negative to any other human being on the planet.

*** If people didn't like old Robert, I totally get it.

**** In order to see these things, I must have or had that demon within me as well to a lesser or greater extent.

Note: You cannot write on some topics without someone perceiving you as an arrogant twit. That is why most bloggers avoid these things. If that is you, ask yourself, is the demon Arrogance mine or yours? A DEEPLY introspective look at such questions will yield you fruit no matter the conclusion.

The Benefits of Dying

Over the next few days or weeks, depending upon the schedules of doctors and how much insurance companies want to interfere, I could be getting very bad medical news. I am at total peace with that. I am not nervous, worried or concerned. It only took a moment to learn why.

I am at peace with what I have accomplished spiritually. I have literally seen the perfection, the  unfolding, the wholeness. My experiences include seeing demons, angels, gods and interacting with them all. I have seen and spoken to my deceased father (I think). Most importantly, I have learned how beautiful each human being truly is. I have seen souls...so beautiful. I have assisted in healings. My life has been enriched by friends and enemies alike. I owe no apologies because if I owed one, I made it in the moment.

Don't take me wrong, I have no death wish. I still have things I want to do. However, I am totally content.

Because I am me, I have a question. If I can be at total peace awaiting such news, how can work still be so irritating?

UPDATE: Second doctor says first doctor overreacted. He was a bit miffed that I was told to get to my GP "Now." Chances are very good that all is well.

As I Leave Things Behind

In life coaching class today, we discussed our life purpose and how to develop them with our clients. We were asked to share anything we had come up with. I said that I had one for many years. So, the exercise wasn't particularly helpful to me in that respect. I was asked what it was.

My life purpose is to live within the will of God.

Upon sharing this I was asked if I could rate that on a scale of 0% to 100% where I thought it was. I said I understand my place at about 60 to 70 percent. The instructor said no. He meant how much does that describe my life purpose. In my gut, how much does that ring true? I said emphatically, "One hundred percent."

Two people cried. Two said they were blown away. One of those had a hard time talking.

I realized then that not everyone thinks this way much less lives the life. I knew it but somehow this made it more real. It made me understand more the past conflicts, parted friends, misunderstandings, loves and all sorts of things large and small.

My confidence level is high; I know exactly what I am supposed to do. I live my purpose with joy and happiness. I leave behind anger, pain, control, knowledge and fear. Those have been replaced with purpose, mission, vision and love. I am amazed at the people I love, from past and present.

My mission is to teach and enlighten through the classes I offer, the MM and coaching.

My vision is of people knowing KNOWING they are totally worthy of God. I can see their smiling faces and open hearts. Nothing they can do diminishes that beautiful truth.

As I do these things there are some that cannot share what I embody as my truth: Perfection, Unfolding, Wholeness. They reject each part. They get angry at my silence or my quiet conviction and move along. Others, see something different. Of those, a few are willing to take a few steps with me. When they do, lives change. Incredible things happen. I smile. The beautiful part is any work is theirs and so is any credit. Pretty much, I just sit here and ask a few questions or share a technique or two.

Those that need another way go in peace. Their parting does not burden me and I pray I do not burden them.

This is what I am meant to do.

You Cannot Do Wrong

In the comments section  of the I Lost Touch with Reality post, Christopher Bradford wrote the following:

Good stuff.....but I think you're concept of wrong being impossible isn't complete. That is only a truth if you live without context; if we're looking at the broad picture it is also impossible to do anything that is Right. Morality is a social matter, based on community, and that includes the spiritual community--the disincarnate beings we relate with. If we choose to disassociate from community and dissolve into the source, we can be free of concerns of right and wrong.....but only then. When we choose to relate to other beings we are in community, and the moral standards of the community we identify with determines the moral polarity of our actions. Ha. Basically what I'm saying is the idea of there being "no wrong" only applies to those beings who've ceased to interact with the other beings....or have imagined that they do. Even sociopaths are aware a given action is "wrong"....they just don't give a shit. Same thing applies to good/bad. Morality frankly is a "truth", as it is a on I Lost Touch with Reality

I totally agree with Chris...except for this.

On this plane, from the standard human perspective, he is totally correct. However, when you get above all that and see the vastness of the great unfolding and the perfection inherent in all things, it doesn't hold true. I do not have a degree in philosophy so I cannot share this directly. Instead, allow me a few examples.

Example 1:

In my life prior life, the very bad thing happened and on top of that a group of people punished me for the deeds of another (as far as I can tell). The rationale for this decision was deliberately and willfully hidden from me. This drove me flipping crazy. I became angery (in truth angrier) and obsessive. This boiled and roiled within the pressure cooker of my own mind. That pressure propelled me to see the Perfection, the Unfoldinging, and the Wholeness of all things. This is the greatest gift I can imagine. For all the pain and suffering of those ten years, I have obtained a peace that many never obtain in this life.

In the short term view of the moment, what they did  was indefensible and wrong. In the long term view, they did no harm at all but contributed to my unfolding.

As part of that, I have learned that I am totally sane (in a crazy way) but I cannot deal with the passive-aggressive and the secret keeper personality type. I actually can handle the more clinically mentally ill much more easily. So, I simply set clear boundaries as soon as I see these behaviors. It has worked quite well. I very politely demonstrate it can stop or the other can leave. Either way, I am totally fine. 

Example 2:

In 1980 a drunk driver killed a young girl. No one can defend this wrong. No one. However, from that her mother, Candy Lightner founded MADD saving tens of thousands of lives. This tremendous unforgivable tragedy created a focal point for nation-wide revulsion at lax laws and needless deaths. Society unfolded just a bit because of this. In the long term view, no harm was done. Life does not end, souls are immortal.

I realize that this is easily said when it isn't you. However, I feel the same way about the wrongs of others I have suffered previously documented here.

Example 3:

Judas betrayed the Christ (oh Judas is so evil so bad) but without Judas the Christ mythos totally falls apart. Without Judas, there is no sacrifice. The power of that moment sustains Christianity to this day. Did he do right by doing wrong or does the unfolding continue regardless? In my view, it is the latter and probably the former as well.

Conclusion:

Yes, we can do wrong by violating the rules of society as we know them. This can be spiritually, emotionally, intellectually or physically damaging in the short term to both the wronged and the person who performed the grievous act. In the longer term, all that so called damage contributes to the unfolding in just the same way all the mercy we bestow on each other does. The latter is just easier to see.

I do find a certain irony here. I have long argued that magicians have a responsibility and just because they do things magickally doesn't mean their actions are immune from 'rightness' and 'wrongness'. We have to be careful in what we do, how we do it and the ripple effect. As soon as I point out that long term wrong is impossible, people come out and tell me I'm wrong for that too!

Though, I must admit, Christopher can tell me I'm wrong all day long. He has such a kind and eloquent way of doing so.

Totally Embarrassed Myself

Posting by phone.

A couple of months ago I attended a class by Coyle and Duquette. Lon interrupted the class to ask my opinion on things goetic and what they were teaching because " you have successfully done this." Cool. I have to admit to an ego boost for Lon to stop a class and ask for my opinion.

Just 45 minutes ago and after three hours of classes Lon asked me to do the closing lbrp. Again I was taken by complete surprise, especially since I haven't done one in a year. I did it.  Unfortunately I forgot half the ritual! As anyone would be I was totally embarrassed! Mortified.

On my way home from Sacramento, I pulled off the freeway, onto a frontage road and did it right while focussing on where I was a half hour prior.

I find myself driving through Stockton and I am hit with the vision of perfection!! I laughed and all is well. Everything is so cool. Just after, I look up. The street sign is Wizard street. Thank you universe!!

I Lost Touch with Reality

When I first had my visions of perfection, I was a bit euphoric. I remember that someone criticized that perspective and said that I had obviously lost touch with reality. For some odd reason I recalled those comments today and these thoughts followed.

Before my visions, this is the reality I experienced.

• I was confused by other people's behavior
• I thought that behavior always denoted a wrong doing by my part
• I believed an argument was pretty much always appropriate
• I believed that there were good and bad people and events
• I was angry, oh so angry
• I believed there was a right way and a wrong way.
• "God" and "The Gods" were mysterious and possibly dangerous
• Christians were pretty much irresponsible
• Evangelists were immoral
• I and everyone else needed to do personal alchemical work
• I was often difficult to approach.
• I was a seeker
• I needed help to grow. So did everyone else.
• Serious spiritual work was always necessary.
• Demons could hurt you.
• I was obsessed with the very bad thing.
• Passive-aggressive people fueled the obsession.
• I suffered from PTSD
• I am sure there was more along those lines.

Yes, I have totally lost touch with most of those things. In my new reality:

• I know that everything is perfect.
• Our souls and reality continually unfold and that process is perfect.
• Everything is whole and complete.
• Non-duality is not about the third thing it is the absence of the illusionary thing. For instance, there is only good. There is no bad.
• I am happy.
• It is impossible to do anything wrong.
• "God" and "The Gods" are totally cool.
• No one needs to do spiritual work. Things will just take longer if you don't.
• Evangelists are immoral but that is okay.
• I am a mystic/magician/teacher/healer.
• Everyone grows regardless
• Demons are our friends.
• I am friends with a disciple of Christ.
• I understand when an issue is about me or someone else or both.
• I don't argue with anyone.
• I have clear vision and see the cause and effect others miss.
• I omit passive-aggressive people from my life.
• If you want to be a jerk, that is totally cool. You're still perfect.
• Jerks are just God cleverly disguised as assholes.
• From time to time, I am euphoric.
• I smile a lot.
• Life is totally wonderful.

Yeah, I lost touch with that old reality. The question is, why would anyone prefer me in that old reality compared to this one?

P.S. I am still an insomniac but Hypnos, the Greek god of sleep, is totally cool and helping me out with that.

Healing Visions

The more healing work I do the more I am aware that certain ailments look the same to my astral vision.

PTSD looks like we are made of white light and wrapped in black cloth. The trauma rips away part of that material letting the light shine through. It is my theory that the 'black cloth' is the barrier that keeps our souls from shining through before we clear up the dross. Severe trauma rips that cloth away and exposes our souls before either we our the world can handle that power. This accounts for a great deal of acting out not to mention extreme internal difficulties.

 Less severe emotional trauma is a bit more specific to the event. There are color patterns involved but these are more individualized.

Bipolar folks have very fast 'sticks' of energy that move in odd patterns within the astral cranium.

These patterns allow me to do better work as I don't have to spend as much time trying to figure things out. For instance, I learned today of a possible new symptom. Some time ago, I posted that I was working with a person that had an aneurism. After a bit of a break, I was asked to look in on some odd behavior this his wife thought may be depression or an increase in his confusion. I saw strange wisps of thought or etheric body rising as if some part of him was leaving to another world but that energy was weak. We didn't know what to make of it. So, I stopped the work. I am quite cautious. We have since learned that this person tried to poison himself. I know now that a similar vision may be a sign of a serious health risk. If I see that again, there will be an immediate appeal to see a physician.

Tech

From time to time, I am asked about my sharing my tech. I would but frankly I have no idea how to teach or copy this for anyone else. For the most part, my tech involves getting myself out of my own way. The less angst and doubt one has the better one does at this sort of thing. Speaking of which...

Posting

I haven't been posting much. Part of that reason is that I am deliriously happy and content. For all of you out there doing the difficult work, know that there is a pay off. You can get here too by rigorously following your path.