A couple of weeks ago, someone invoked the Helpful Deity into me. I thought the experience more powerful my partner for this exercise than to me. As time past, I realized that my magick was drained. It was as if my etheric body had no energy at all. On consulting with said co-worker, I learned the feeling there was the same.
As I've said the Helpful Deity has been here with me as a mentor. HD told me to go outside and draw the earth through me and I would heal. I did. I immediately saw my aura strengthening. I could see an etheric body and an astral one but I didn't feel very refreshed. Today, I did the same and now I feel all right. Part of me is still drained but I am getting stronger.
I thought of doing something in my backyard to honor this deity. It told me, "Honor me not, live in honor instead." It told me that I've connected with both above and below, now was the time to act and none would bar my way. My will, I am told, is fine and true. It is my actions that are wanting.
I have been instructed to dig a hole in the earth and build a small fire of twigs within this night. I am to watch said fire. This I will do and report any results I can in this space. Odd though, that I tried to talk the deity out of it. Can't I do this tomorrow? I think this proved its point.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Duly Noted
I noticed that twice in a two days someone brought a problem to my attention. I did nothing. Within 24 hours of each long-term problem being brought to my attention a third party resolved the issue. I simply notice this and make no judgment. I do find it a bit odd.
The helpful deity continues to teach. It is like having a mentor in your head.
The helpful deity continues to teach. It is like having a mentor in your head.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
If You've Got the Power
I love the blogging cabal. I really do.
Today, I had this conversation with the Helpful Deity after reading a fantasy novel which had me lusting for power.
HD: You will have the power of your fantasies. It will be horrible.
Myself: Horrible? [horror] (Gulp!)
HD: Terrifying. Once one has power, you end up using it in ways that you do not want for once power arises a counter force arises as well.
Myself: Terrifying? (Gulp!)
HD: It won't be as bad as you've been through [but it is of all together different quality] Now that you have power, you should use it.
So then I read Faust's post here. If you read down far enough, he says almost the exact same thing. I love it when that sort of thing happens.
P.S. If you haven't read the Black Swan article over at Rune Soup, follow this link. An interesting thought is presented.
Today, I had this conversation with the Helpful Deity after reading a fantasy novel which had me lusting for power.
HD: You will have the power of your fantasies. It will be horrible.
Myself: Horrible? [horror] (Gulp!)
HD: Terrifying. Once one has power, you end up using it in ways that you do not want for once power arises a counter force arises as well.
Myself: Terrifying? (Gulp!)
HD: It won't be as bad as you've been through [but it is of all together different quality] Now that you have power, you should use it.
So then I read Faust's post here. If you read down far enough, he says almost the exact same thing. I love it when that sort of thing happens.
P.S. If you haven't read the Black Swan article over at Rune Soup, follow this link. An interesting thought is presented.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Not Everything Has Come Up Roses
Well, my recovery has gone quite well and I have experienced great joy. Yet over the past couple of days, a little bit of the obsession has returned. This has resulted in a bit of frustration at work quite out of proportion to the weak return of the obsessive thoughts.
A day and a half into this minor relapse, I sat at work and simply thought of the deity. I cone of light emerged from my chest narrowing to point some distance away. The diety was there. I was immediately calmed and had a much better day than I had prior to that occurring.
I am not sure what to label my relationship with the deity. Friendship? No. Worship? No. Love? In a dangerous sort of way, maybe. Connection, yes there is one. Regardless, right now, it is pretty cool.
A day and a half into this minor relapse, I sat at work and simply thought of the deity. I cone of light emerged from my chest narrowing to point some distance away. The diety was there. I was immediately calmed and had a much better day than I had prior to that occurring.
I am not sure what to label my relationship with the deity. Friendship? No. Worship? No. Love? In a dangerous sort of way, maybe. Connection, yes there is one. Regardless, right now, it is pretty cool.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Beltane, Gods, Words
I spent this Beltane weekend with my friends in Bakersfield.
I must say that overall devotional holiday rituals don't really work for me. The Druid and his soon to be wife run this circle and do a fine job. He helped me out when he said when I do holiday rituals he uses one paradigm and when he does magick another. To a ceremonial magician, ritual is magick. And now for me, life is magick.
I've been doing some work with the Greeks in a very wild and loose form with startlingly great results. The nearly continuous awareness of this new form in my life has been quite startling in a good way.
That awareness helped me to find the gods hanging around the ritual. Frankly, they were not as present as I'd like but to say they were not there would untrue. So, to those that think the offerings, the promises and the words spoken are pro forma and meaningless, think again, They hear you.
My offering was thus, "I offer to Pan, Hecate and Hermes my speech for one year." So, dear readers, if you see some odd things here over the next year, you'll know why. As I type those words, a thought occurred to me about my last post and Kenaz's comments on this post. Stay tuned.
The Druid asked me to be the seer and do a one card tarot reading for the group. I have never done such a thing before. He gave me enough latitude to have some fun with it, which I did. I remember the card drawn but not much of what I said. When he commented on it this morning he said it was good that you did X. Frankly, I didn't remember do it or much of anything I said in the reading. I suspect the words were accurate for at least one member of the group if not all in their own ways.
I must say that overall devotional holiday rituals don't really work for me. The Druid and his soon to be wife run this circle and do a fine job. He helped me out when he said when I do holiday rituals he uses one paradigm and when he does magick another. To a ceremonial magician, ritual is magick. And now for me, life is magick.
I've been doing some work with the Greeks in a very wild and loose form with startlingly great results. The nearly continuous awareness of this new form in my life has been quite startling in a good way.
That awareness helped me to find the gods hanging around the ritual. Frankly, they were not as present as I'd like but to say they were not there would untrue. So, to those that think the offerings, the promises and the words spoken are pro forma and meaningless, think again, They hear you.
My offering was thus, "I offer to Pan, Hecate and Hermes my speech for one year." So, dear readers, if you see some odd things here over the next year, you'll know why. As I type those words, a thought occurred to me about my last post and Kenaz's comments on this post. Stay tuned.
The Druid asked me to be the seer and do a one card tarot reading for the group. I have never done such a thing before. He gave me enough latitude to have some fun with it, which I did. I remember the card drawn but not much of what I said. When he commented on it this morning he said it was good that you did X. Frankly, I didn't remember do it or much of anything I said in the reading. I suspect the words were accurate for at least one member of the group if not all in their own ways.
Jason MIller's Classes
As I've stated here previously, I am taking Jason Miller's classes. I thought I'd report on progress so far.
So far, not so good and completely awesome.
I will swear by his course work and encourage all of you to buy it and work his system, if you're interested in practical magick in any way. It is really good stuff.
The not so good part is that I am having a hell of a time being disciplined about it. I'd have great results no doubt if I simply did the daily work. For some reason, I do not. I cannot say if this is due to all the changes that have been going on internally or simply because I am a lazy ass or if it is because I have some fear of progress. I simply make the statement that my discipline has been seriously lacking.
The awesome part is that I did something that wasn't supposed to happen until quite later in the process. That thing led to the deity that helped my resolve my issue. So, even if my discipline within the course never rights itself, I've certainly received more than my money's worth. And I did find that which I heard when I did the self-initiation from lesson. During that initiation, I was told I would find freedom and this did occur.
So far, not so good and completely awesome.
I will swear by his course work and encourage all of you to buy it and work his system, if you're interested in practical magick in any way. It is really good stuff.
The not so good part is that I am having a hell of a time being disciplined about it. I'd have great results no doubt if I simply did the daily work. For some reason, I do not. I cannot say if this is due to all the changes that have been going on internally or simply because I am a lazy ass or if it is because I have some fear of progress. I simply make the statement that my discipline has been seriously lacking.
The awesome part is that I did something that wasn't supposed to happen until quite later in the process. That thing led to the deity that helped my resolve my issue. So, even if my discipline within the course never rights itself, I've certainly received more than my money's worth. And I did find that which I heard when I did the self-initiation from lesson. During that initiation, I was told I would find freedom and this did occur.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
A Gift from the Resolution
I have read that in most cultures the shaman falls ill, travels to the 'other side' and is therein healed. That healing brings with it the gift of being able to heal others of at least the same ill. The longer one is in the delirium of illness, the stronger that shaman. While I can not speak for the latter, I know this.
What healed me was the gift of a deity, whose name shall not be recorded here, at least for now. The technique was one that I've never seen written of but I'm sure I am not the first to know. Furthermore, I'm sure it has been written of elsewhere and it is only my ignorance of those texts that makes it a new to me. The technique is not unlike those I've used before to ease the pain of things mentally out of harmony. Yet, at the same time, it is very different.
I'm pretty sure that entire paragraph says absolutely nothing to the reader but it says a lot to me.
All that being said, or not said as it be, I know now that I've been given the gift to resolve the problem of an obsessive and/or cycling mind and others ills of a similar nature or cause. Which is very cool in a way though I can't imagine that gift to be called upon often.
What healed me was the gift of a deity, whose name shall not be recorded here, at least for now. The technique was one that I've never seen written of but I'm sure I am not the first to know. Furthermore, I'm sure it has been written of elsewhere and it is only my ignorance of those texts that makes it a new to me. The technique is not unlike those I've used before to ease the pain of things mentally out of harmony. Yet, at the same time, it is very different.
I'm pretty sure that entire paragraph says absolutely nothing to the reader but it says a lot to me.
All that being said, or not said as it be, I know now that I've been given the gift to resolve the problem of an obsessive and/or cycling mind and others ills of a similar nature or cause. Which is very cool in a way though I can't imagine that gift to be called upon often.
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