Roaming Under a Cracked Sky

I am a bit stuck in what to write here.

How can I say that I roamed a flat plane, saw the sky, blue and red, become purple only to settle into a red-grey-purple storm of lightening as a woman of power strode about? How can I tell you that I was there to heal her and I saw the Goddess within my human friend? If I told you I begged her to sing a siren song of seduction drawing those who hear to the deeper love of her healing ways, would that make sense?

What can one say about seeing someone be a body, the world tree and star all at once? Can I share the purity of the place? The raw power? The understanding of the creative force there to be left to its own devices or to the will of the magician?

Can I tell you how normally bizarre it was to see my spirit guide, whom I have yet to met, walking with her?  How do I communicate what it was like to go back to that place, alone, and call down the creative lightening bolt of G-d's love and have it pass into me without so much as rattling my astral bones? Can I communicate how cool it was to be in utter pain today yet feel my heart pulsing with the left over love of that experience?

If I said these things, would you believe me? If you did, would it matter to your own work?

If I said how deeply I love you, dear reader that I have never met and never will, would it matter? If I shared how the useless anger within me is falling prey to love of nothing and everything would you care?

What can I write that does not diminish and yet still shares?

Seeing Energy in an Aura

In a meeting at work, I saw a woman's aura. Normally, I see a uniform light around a person. This had the more or less average blue hue. Around it, was a thin line of red and a bit thicker line of purple. She is someone that I have insight into due to a psychic flash during a conversation last week. Her motivation is that her self worth is derived from doing well. Any mistake she makes diminishes her internal value as a human. This is such a sad motivation for someone with a kind heart and awesome talent. Though, it is likely quite common.

I believe the red line is her internal severity. She is harsh with herself. The purple line is the lowerish astral, realm of formation, air. She hasn't expanded past that.

The cool part was that when she asked a question and was seriously seeking an answer, her aura opened to receive. When she was speaking and had made a decision, a red line appeared outside her aura. No point in arguing when you see that!

It was really cool to see the astral change real time like that, a first for me.

Freakish Change (More Getting Right with Time)

The Saturn working fallout continues.

I have often reported anger issues here. Part of that was that I was so deeply living in the past that decade old actions played through my mind as if they were still happening. It is impossible to forgive and let go some things quickly. We have all experienced that but being stuck out of time means any letting go is too quick because the negative event is still happening.

Now that those issues are fading into their proper time zones, it is opening up many doors for me.

• I am a much more intense listener in face-to-face conversations. This is helping me understand both the speaker and myself on a much deeper level. On-line, I am still a bit too much self-absorbed but that will improve. 
• My psychic senses have increased to the point where I have had conversations that seem very normal, yet I 'see' the other person's underlying motivations quite clearly. The upside is that these motivations are personal drives and have nothing to do with me. Had they been about me, I would have just assumed I was projecting. This will allow me to satisfy the other person's unspoken needs to a greater extent and teach me about other human behaviors that have always baffled me.
• In several conversations at work, I have found myself laughing rather than getting upset. 

The biggest shift has been described by Flower as, "freakish change". Rather than trying to suppress anger I am working within to push love, compassion, caring and related emotions out. In short, I am being something rather than burying something. Flower reports me more relaxed and emanating so much warm fuzzy energy that she is finding it a bit disconcerting but in a good way, "even your posture has changed."

I was able to do this because something clicked inside of me. I see myself as angry so I am angry. Yet, there is a part of me that few in my non-magickal life see, compassion. I open my home to those in need, do healings, listen to people's emotional issues, am supportive, guide people spiritually in a very soft way and the like. So, since I am these things too, I may as well let myself feel the emotion of them in daily life and reserve anger for only appropriate situations. This has worked out great so far.

There has only been a week of this but I feel that it is a significant and permanent change.

Getting right with time has been nothing short of huge.

Chortling Happiness

The Saturn working gave me a method of getting to know certain things. The image of Binah to me to keep this information to myself. Though, frankly, I think it not so much a secret to anyone that has studied the symbolism of Western Ceremonial Magick.

Today, I used that method on myself. I did not project anything outward.

There were two difficult conversations at work today. I am well known for getting too emotional (angry) at work about these conversations. During the first, the other party was angry and I was laughing. In the second, two people were angry. One became so angry that he left the room...twice! I was on his side of the discussion but I was fine. I was smiling.

In both conversations, people that were normally calm lost it. I, whom normally loses it, was amused, laughing and having a good time.

I laughed and chortled all the way home because I didn't have to suppress my anger. I didn't have any! Progress! I am so very excited, giddy. I am still chortling.

The Agnostic Update

The Angostic has gone from being a virtual shut in, afraid to even apply for work or take a bus, to being employed for two full months. She loves her job. Today, she asked for a raise and pulled down an extra 4K a year!

I am so proud of her that I could have walked on clouds all the way home!

She claims her success if from the Manifestation Meditation but cannot explain why it works. We have agreed that it is probably aliens from Pluto. Since she doesn't know if she has a soul, that explanation works as well as any.

M Theory

Science buffs will be disappointed if they expect me to link M Theory and magick in an intelligent way.  I know virtually nothing regarding M Theory...

In doing the Manifestation Meditation, I am getting consistent messages to do magick -- a lot of magick. So much so that 'normal state' Robert is balking. Doing that much magick should blow my head off. Frankly, while I am pretty spiritually gonzo at times, I need a break from scattering parts of my brain all over the universe.

The other night, I sat in meditation. I focused on how I am supposed to organize all the magick that I am supposed to do which includes:

• dealing with the elemental kings in a single ritual and uniting them under spirit (shin)
• learning about each planet
• doing a long overdue ritual to consecrate a friend's sword talisman
• walking the paths that boarder Tipereth
• creating a couple of obstacle removing candles

The first act has to be dealing with the elemental kings. This didn't come so much from the meditation but I can feel the vibration when I think about it. This is close. In theory, this will be pretty straight-forward. This is basically doing an LBRP or an SIRP (Supreme Invoking Ritual of the Pentagram) and using the hierarchical vibratory formula to call them. I will post details on that when I perform the rite. 

The problem may lie in the energies themselves...or not. The Saturn working proved I was out of sync with time and that such things can be corrected. It has led me to the idea that some of the other issues I face are from being out of sync with this realm. That thought led me to believe that the prompting to work with the kings is going to resolve that issue. Should it not, I will work with the tarot princesses. I am not exactly sure how yet but I will cross that bridge should it appear on the horizon.

The meditation revealed an image of the next magickal act that looked exactly like this. 

This tells me that I have to walk these paths next. I find it curious that I am not being told to seal the deal by working the path of Teth (Leo) that links sephiroth four and five. 

When I saw this, I knew I would receive confirmation and I did Saturday afternoon. I was watching a documentary called the Nature of Existence (companion series) in which someone mentioned M Theory and stated that it is the way to understanding all things. 

Agrippa used the term "all things" extensively.

• "for Love is the chariot of the Soul, the most excellent of all things, descending from the Intelligences above even to the most inferior things. It congregates and converts our mind into the Divine beauty, preserves us also in all our works,"
• "Divine revelations wholly, peirceth [pierceth] all things through the whole world, for seeing it descends from above from the first light, and remains neerest [nearest] to it, is far more noble and excellent than the arts, sciences and beliefes arising from inferior things: this being darted into our intellect by reflexion [reflection] from the first light. To conclude, by faith man is made somewhat the same with the superior powers and enjoyeth the same power with them:"
• "Therefore Linus the Poet sings all things are to be beleeved [believed], because all things are easie [easy] to God; nothing is impossible to him, therefore nothing incredible;"
• "Seeing that the being and operation of all things, depend on the most high God,"

Of course, this is also mentioned in the Oath of the Abyss, which I have taken:


1. I, ___________, a member of the Body of God, hereby bind myself on behalf of the Whole Universe, even as we are now physically bound unto the cross of suffering:
2. that I will lead a pure life, as a devoted servant of the Order:
3. that I will understand all things:
4. that I will love all things:
5. that I will perform all things and endure all things:
6. that I will continue in the Knowledge and Conversation of my Holy Guardian Angel
7. that I will work without attachment
8. that I will work in truth:
9. that I will rely only upon myself:
10. that I will interpret every phenomenon as a particular dealing of God with my soul.
And if I fail herein, may my pyramid be profaned, and the Eye closed to me.

I am not claiming that I will understand all things after doing this work. However, I will understand more things which brings me closer to understanding all things...in theory. Of course, we are emptying the ocean with a fork here.

The sword and obstacle removing candles are another story.

The latter is a project I feel really compelled to do as an act of service. I offered to make such candles at no charge for the two people that responded first to my offer on Facebook. They were immediately snatched up. That has to occur after the elemental working but likely before the rest.

The sword is a promise to a friend delayed way too long. On the other hand, I do believe in the virtue  of patience as it applies to magickal timing. I do not forget my promises or my love for my friends. This one is just taking more patience than I expected.

The magick mentioned above will take place prior to the next equinox. It should make for an interesting life and interesting reading.

The Magickal Virtue of Prudence

Prudence…is the ability to discern what is and what is not conducive to the good life. This isn’t a question of balancing the short term and long term interests. It is also not precisely right to say it balances one’s own interests with those of other people. Prudence discerns what is good for humanity in general, both now and in the future, both near and far, and not just for yourself or any other particular person, except that individuals are representatives of the species.  -- Brandon Myers, The Other Side of Virtue (pg 100-1)

In reading Myers, I am finding a kindred spirit regarding my belief structure. The difference being that he communicates so very well. Further, I feel like he takes my ideas and expands upon them. I am learning a great deal.

Over the years, I have been a lone voice in the wilderness saying that the magic user is responsible for ALL the fallout of his magick. If I get a job using magick, I need to be concerned with the other fellow that didn't get the job had I not used my skills. Most folks strongly disagree. 

This I believe comes from the overvaluation of individualism and the rejection of collective responsibility and the mutual aid that makes societies work.

Further, it is my belief and experience that the more we do to help the other fellow the better we feel about ourselves. In my case, nothing brings me greater pleasure than learning that someone has been positively impacted by my healing, a soul reading or their work with the manifestation meditation. I believe this joy in helping is a fundamental human trait the practice of which has been watered down through the myth of American rugged individualism. 

Most magicians I know seem to feel as if their power gives them a right to the job or other object of their magick and write-off the impact on others, as long as there isn't direct physical harm. 

Neo-Wicca goes to the other extreme and uses the term "harm none". Frankly, I find this an impossible injunction, especially when it applies to other forms of life. Following harm none to its full extent, as some claim they do, would make it impossible to eat without going through some pretty serious spiritual gymnastics regarding the cow willingly giving up its life for my barbecue. Suddenly, we have to apply the sacred hunter wisdom of thanking the deer for its life to the industrial butcher. 

When it comes to magick, it is impossible not to impact others. Trying to figure out what harm really means could send one into an ontological, moral and ethical tizzy! 

Magicians give the briefest, albeit sincere, nod to such problems. We may see the injunction to follow the will of the magician so long as her loved ones are not harmed, including pets, nor any other human (she knows). 

I suppose that is better than nothing.

In my magick, I am going to work under the above definition of prudence. I wish to make the 'good life' available to all. I want to help those around me as best I can, without going to Mother Theresa-like extremes. So, were I to do magick to gain a job, I would add, "open a gateway to a job wherein my work will assist in the creation of additional employment for another." Should I seek a love, "open the pathway to my love and allow me to, when the timing is right, to introduce another future couple to each other." Sure, the wording is a bit sloppy at this point but I think the intent is clear.

I do not believe it is enough not to harm. It is my belief that the good life, desired by us all, can be helped along by such wording in our works. Further, I feel that power brings with it responsibility. I will act in accordance with my virtue in this regard.

Asperger's II

They kids began acting up today for the first time since Friday night. Not too shabby for ten minute's work.

Tonight, I went back. Fire Boy's fire was below him again. This time I asked why and was told to look to another child. So, I glanced at one of the few young people I know and saw how the fire was in her. In her case it was in Malkuth but traveled to the outside paths of Shin and Qoph then up to a certain point on those pillars. So, I mimicked that with Fireboy. I moved the fire, directed its path and then sealed Malkuth, Hod and Netzach. Kid fire does not go up to Yesod. The implications of puberty are obvious. 

The only problem I had was bringing the fire fully to Netzach. I do not think I quite got it there.

I did see his brother as being tied to Fire Boy by iron bars. Oddly, they sleep in a shared bed that has iron bars. Regardless, the ties looked like normal brother ties. However, there was one at foot level that gives the brother all sorts of trouble. When I touched it, I could see him kick. He was very uncomfortable.

I told their mom about it. I have permission to remove just that one bar next time.