Reiki

Some time ago, Jack posted on one of his blogs that he doubted anyone could become a Reiki master over the weekend just by paying someone for an initiation.

When I took my first Reiki initiation, I posted here that I had become a Reiki practitioner. Someone took issue with that because he felt the term practitioner meant that I was accepting money from others. I meant that I was practicing Reiki on myself. 

I think the term Reiki Master generates the same issue. Most of us in the WMT think of the term master as meaning we have achieved a level of extraordinary proficiency. The master title for Reiki, as far as I can tell, is merely the ability to tap into that current to initiate others. It may have meant more at one time. Maybe it still does but no one told me I would have to do anything but show up if I wanted to be a Master. I have not done that. So, I could be totally or partially full of it.

I too thought for a very long time that Reiki was bullshit. However, I learned one of the most important magickal lessons through my initiation. The concept of non-ownership of the power or the results has improved all forms of my practice exponentially. Recently, I had an obvious and instant physical result with healing. I only reduced a small bruise to half of what it was but to do so in an instant was ONLY POSSIBLE because my ego was not wrapped up in that at the time of doing the work. I was able to drop my personality for just long enough to do that. Yes, I used things I didn't learn from Reiki but I believe that initiation provided access to something I didn't have access to before.

Maybe someday, I will actually be able to do something very meaningful with it. 

My point is that Reiki is not bullshit. There is something there. 

My second point is to the Nutty Professor. Fear of failure is the same thing as ownership. There is fear of not being capable, as if the power belonged to you. There is also a fear of not helping your family member. The latter is much more difficult to rid yourself of. In this case, may I suggest focusing on the idea that the result of your efforts is the Will of the Universe, God, or Gods, whichever view you hold. You are but an instrument of that power. Mother Theresa used to say that she is just a pencil in the hand of God. I think such an attitude may be of value to you.

Some Acts of Healing

Over the last few weeks, I have been working on healings. This is just a quick synopsis.

The Gentle Soul contracted a harsh stomach flu and strep at the same time. At one point, she was throwing up very often. Even though she was mobile, I was instantly able to end the vomiting. I could also tell she was terribly dehydrated. Anyone could have learned that through logic but this came during a very focussed time of healing and was seen. It wasn't logic at that point.

This occurred during my own illness as I had the same bug but a more mild form and didn't get the strep. I tried healings at other times and couldn't get past my own illness to help her.

This weekend, the Gentle Soul came to visit. She had a bruise under her fingernail from a sewing needle. The finger was also swollen. She complained that it was throbbing up to her elbow. I was able to stop the throbbing and instantly reduce the bruise to half the size. The swelling remained unchanged. Today, it only hurts when she bumps it. I will try again later.

Resolved Karma?

Long time readers have read about my back issues. I've spent most of my life since 1991 in some sort of pain. From it being very tolerable to debilitating.

About eight weeks ago, a friend told me about aspartame and how horrible it was for you. He went on to describe the unethical way it was approved by the FDA. I've heard the first part before. I've always ignored it. Suddenly, it made a great deal of sense and I simply stopped my Diet Pepsi addiction. I had twelve bottles here which sat for a month before I could give them away but I never drank one. Immediately my back was better. I no longer spend any time at all on Vicodin. I haven't had even a half a pill in seven weeks.

So, from a mundane angle, yeah it was the food additive. From a spiritual angle, that doesn't feel right. It feels as if I've paid a price for something. I can't explain that feeling. I can't defend it. It could be total bullshit.

I have had good period before but I've never had such a long period with zero pain.

It Isn't All Sweetness and Light but Just Maybe...

I believe it is important to think of things before the moment of truth. 

When I first entered the magickal arena, I was taught that magickal attacks are the fears of the ego. If you think you've been attacked more than a handful of times over the course of a career, you have some sort of personal problem. You may just be delusional. This is what I believed. 

Of course, this ignored some famous Golden Dawn history or at the very least minimized it. Then again, what else are you going to tell a neophyte? Yeah, it happens all the time and you are defenseless? 

Then I met Jason Miller. He talked of Hoodoo and Voodoo. He talked of malevolent spirits that can be offended. Heck, neutral spirits can do a lot of damage if you offend them. In short, he taught, humans can launch magickal attacks but that is not the only form. I am not going to go into all the subtleties. I suggest reading Miller's, Protection and Reversal Magick, if your curious about forms and causes of attacks or attack like conditions.

Most magickal people that I know that talk about magickal attack discuss defenses and reversals. Naturally, defending oneself is a basic right of life be you a magician or a mouse. A pacifist may simple deflect the thrust of an attack. A warrior may reverse it upon his attacker and proceed to launch a systematic series of attacks at the perpetrator as in enforcing his on three or ten-fold law. I am a firm believer that both responses are within the rights of the attacked. 

Normally, the conversation ends there. 

It doesn't end there for me. More is hinted at by Jason's teachings of making offerings. My inference from that is that can soften or resolve the volatile situation. So, why not defend oneself and then do additional work to resolve the issue? This turns the attacker from enemy to someone deserving of empathy, sympathy, understanding or caring. From a point of enlightened self-interest, reaching out to heal someone troubled enough to attack will prevent future threatening situations coming from that quarter. From a spiritual point of view, we just may be able to heal another part of the world. Chances are, if you don't kill or do a healing, the attacker will go after someone else. Maybe, many other people can be spared such an attack. I’m not much for killing. 

The problem with making that known is that the truly disturbed will just attack to get some healing benefit. Well, if you’re that whacked, maybe healing is just what you need. Then again, I believe in my own version of one-upmanship a certain percentage of the time as well. 

Ruthless Self-Analysis

A month or so ago, a close friend said he viewed ceremonial magick as a form of masochism. Recently, someone here reminded me of scrupolosity. If you haven't heard of that danger, click on the link.

I believe these terms are tossed about when strict self-analysis is observed from without. To be true, some may be a bit masochistic. I don't think I am. I don't like exposing my own flaws and trials. It can be painful, hard on the psyche and down right embarrassing. I remember telling Lon DuQuette that I hated reading old diaries because it is so embarrassing to look back and see who I was. He told me he writes in his diary every day and reads the previous entry each day saying "Boy, I'm glad I am not THAT guy anymore." This reflects growth not self-hatred.

Robert Wang said the work is a suicide mission for the ego.

Crowley said that love is the reason for this most ruthless analysis. Damn straight.

Someone doing the work should be feel responsible without being neurotic. They should self-analyze without being cruel. Killing the little personality (ego) is impossible and counter-productive as it has its uses. However, one should sublimate the little personality or direct its energy/urges in useful and beneficial ways.

So how?

Assume every thing that happens to you that you think is negative is true at least long enough to seriously think about it. If some friend of an ex tells you how badly you hurt someone ten years ago and you thought things ended as well as could be expected, go back over things. Think about it. Don't just reject it because you don't want to admit a negative thing could be true. Do this every time the world shows you something negative. Hard? Yes. Do most people want to do that? No.

When you think other people are doing something negative, look to yourself, have you ever done such a thing? Do you do it often?

This stuff is hard but if you want to climb the Tree, I believe it is necessary.

So, why didn't I mention the good stuff? We often think the little ego is good. Hey that jerk tried to beat me down and I stood up? Great. Good for you. What if he was right? The good stuff becomes apparent in time. Like a good fucking, the process is long, slow and hard. You should be dripping with sweat when its done. Completely. Utterly. Satisfied. You don't get there stroking yourself.

I Bought Some Magick

Some time ago, I bought some magick from Jason Miller. Frankly, it was a lark. Yes, I wanted to make more money but I didn't think a talisman from Jason was going to make me a rich man. I respect Jason's work and figured it would be interesting how the magick flowed.

It was a bit frustrating waiting for the talisman as I thought they were ready when sold and didn't need to be made. I waited some time. This turned out to be good because it provided a confirmation of effect.

A week before I received the talisman, a request arrived for me to do some magick. That work earned me the exact price of the talisman. That magick was mildly successful. I will be mailing the link back to that party soon.  The real force of the magick came as a drive to teach classes in Bakersfield and attend psychic fairs. From my proceeds, I have bought a projector which I would never have obtained otherwise. It will be used for future classes.

Overall, I'd say I will received 20 times the what I paid for the talisman. Note that the money didn't just show up. I earned it. I also had fun doing it. The added bonus was I learned a lot. I am fully confident in my tarot skills. I feel if I put as much effort into tarot as the rest of my magick, I'd be a master.

Today, I purchased one of Jason's DZAMBHALA WEALTH TALISMANS. At worst, it is already paid for by the other the one. At best, given that it has more than one effect, its value could be priceless.

I am endorsing Jason's magick. If you're not afraid of working for your money and your spirituality, may I suggest you pick one of these up? I think there are 7 or less left. If you buy one, please tell him you heard it from me. These are already made and ready to go.

Frankly, I can't imagine selling magick again. It changes the feel for me. I want to serve those I can because I want to not because I feel obligated. I also think that at the time, I wasn't fully  rid of grasping for a result and a happy customer. I'd do even better now but why? There are plenty of friends that need a helping hand.

Unrelated

Today, this blog reached an average readership of 200 people a day as averaged over 30 days. That is definitely a first time. Today set a record, as far as I know as I don't check every day, of exactly 300  reads in a day. This is from Blogger which has the most conservative numbers. This is dwarfed by the likes of Jason Miller and others but it is still fun for me.

Confession Time

There has been more discussion with the blogger I'd most like to meet, Ananael Qaa. Part of his last comment was this:

Moving on to the subject of this post, let me ask you this: do you seek union with the divine out of the sense that you are lacking something or out of the sense that you want to be more than you are now? It may seem like a semantic difference, but I think it's important. It's what I was trying to get at in my previous comments regarding whether or not magical motivations are fear-based.

I believe a good deal of my initial drive to unity with the divine was fear-based. It stemmed from the idea of not being good enough. I have no idea where that came from in my life. I do know naming that fear answered a question I've had for a long time as to why I have such an adverse reaction to Christianity and religion in general. My perception of Christianity has always been that it is a religion of telling you that you are not good enough. The starting point of life is that you deserve to be in hell for the crime of being born. You will always be unworthy of God, unless you say these words, confess to Jesus and give this priest a dollar. This is also a problem I had with Trad Wicca in a different form. 


Let's please not have a debate on Christianity.


So, this fear of not being good enough, drove a great deal of personal alchemy. I wanted to meet my end by saying that, pass or fail, I always made an effort towards the higher. So, the above religious experiences, perceptions and attitudes hit that fear and I responded like a wounded animal.


At some point, that went away. Now, it is really based on love, service and being more than I am now. That to may be a bad way of saying it. I believe we are fully who were are right now. We have just forgotten.


All that said, I still have serious issues with Christianity and those that evangelize in my direction. I am just much more willing to walk away.