The Negative Approach of Golden Dawn

Note: I do not write these things to bash the Golden Dawn based orders. I believe they are vital contributors to Western spirituality and magick. I write in the hope that some future teacher finds these occasional offerings of value. 

The Golden Dawn was born of the western culture and has adopted one of its greatest fallacies, the idea that people are impure. The that man is defective likely comes from observation. We do all sorts of things that appear to be mistakes, are hurtful to others, or deadly. While we do behave poorly at times, the conclusion drawn is incorrect. This error is often reinforced by predominant religious views.

These views are part of the Golden Dawn culture too. As the Order is based at least nominally on Christianity and has many Christian adherents, it is not surprising. Though, even the more Pagan orders have this same view disguised as personal alchemy. They may use to terms like purifying the vessel but it is the same idea. There is some part of you that is bad and must be expunged.

I will be the first to admit that we need to shrug off negative build up, life is messy, and you have to get rid of those outer shells. The Work sometimes makes you feel like you are  just an animated matryoshka doll but it isn't all bad. While the qabala does point out virtues and vices of the sephiroth, I see little mention of the former in GD rituals and I know virtues were almost entirely ignored in my training.

The focus on what is wrong with a person puts them in a very negative, almost helpless, and dependent position. It hyper focuses on the 'teacher' as rescuer and dampens the idea of being one's own personal reconciler.

It may be from my studies toward becoming a life coach but I see so much more positive now. That same life that contributed to the negative build up also provided skills and strengths. Never once did I hear anyone say, "Robert, you are excellent at x, here is how you can use that," or, "Have you thought of using your skill as a tarot reader to find which of your strengths can help you overcome this weakness?" Had I asked this during my training, I would like have heard some sincere reasoning about not wanting to puff up egos. Teaching people about their positive traits which may have gone unnoticed is not glorifying egos, it is empowering people to self-actualize their higher natures.

Some teachers reading this may consider my ideas overly optimistic but I challenge them to reconsider. Often we convince ourselves we are doing the right thing when in fact we are holding people back. Focusing only on the negative focuses the student on the rescuing capabilities of the teacher, making the student need to return again and again. I posit that the student's negative ego is being fed, as well as the teacher's positive ego. This is obvious from the outside but not so obvious when one is up close.

I believe a more holistic approach to spiritual teachings is in order (pun intended). Golden Dawn teachers should incorporate approaches that help uncover the positive aspects of a person as well as those that must be purified.

(Photo: Original uploader was Mhrmaw at en.wikipedia)

Rosicrucian Initiation Dream

Last night, I dreamed of standing for a Rosicrucian initation. I am not sure how I knew what it was but I knew. I did see the Golden Dawn cross and triangle on the altar. This was a very clear dream. The feeling was very natural. I was in the right place.

At some point, the dream jumped like a badly spliced movie. I was on my knees before the altar like in a GD style initiation. There was a jackass behind me that was sort of a wild man that tried to make it scary. He didn't succeed. The officiant scolded him, telling him that we left that behind long ago. A sword blade pressed against my neck,"...as I bow my neck before the blade of the Hiereus..."

Normally, that is done blindfolded and before the altar in the near center of the room and which is west of the two pillars. Here there were no pillars but two objects very close to my left and right. Both were covered by clothes. I felt like I was very pressed in by these objects but I was not claustrophobic.

This dream was VERY real.

The feeling of being closed in is reflected in the previous about being told not to heal and being in a caccoon.

Soul Says No Healing

Tonight, there will be two posts as two topics have arrived that need immediate recording.

I have attempted four healing sessions in four days. The results have been...neutral.

I know a woman that has consistent migraines. I have offered from time to time and she took me up on it earlier in the week. When I tried to get to her I was told no by my soul. However, I pushed through. What I saw wasn't a migraine but sort of a spiritual shock to her system. I helped out (maybe a little) and then told her what I saw. I regret telling her as it may have made her feel bad. She has another healer option that sounds like a good bet. I could do the work but it would be different.

A faithful client and friend ask me to heal a family member. Again, my soul said no. I pushed to see her anyway. I did no work but asked why I was getting a no. I was told that I could get her out of this emergency situation but that the long term effects of my healing would be difficult on the patient and that I would be imposing my will upon her and G-d. Exit stage left.

A long distance friend needed some aid as well over the last couple of weeks. I think my work has been moderately effective but not great. I expect to do better. Last night's work on another issue of his was a bust.

My Gal asked for help tonight and again I was told no. I do a lot of work for her and have always been successful. I asked why I was being told no. "We" (here we go with We again) said that I am being 'cocooned'. Sigh.

So, I may be off the healing track for a bit but maybe I will return stronger? I don't know.

Habits of Spiritual Living (by request)

I received an anonymous comment to The Distance Between You and God post which read in part,

... I am unaware of the process you went through to achieve the state that you are in. Would you be able to share that with those who are new to your world? I also realize that if I take the same steps you did I might not reach the state that you are currently in, but still...a little outline might be good...

So, I am going to start a serious of posts called, Habits of Spiritual Living. These are things that I picked up along the way that I have found to be of value, even if I cannot pinpoint how exactly they helped. Posts will also contain items that I may have knew about beforehand, but really came to the for after the shard meditation. I will include magick that I have done as well. However, I am very convinced that magick is not necessary to reach more recognizable spiritual states.

I want to make it clear that these are things that I have found helpful. There is no guarantee they will work for you. If you try any part of what I posted under this title and and it doesn't work for you, print out the article, burn it and beat the ashes with a stick! Think no more about it. It doesn't mean anything, just keep going.

I suppose the first of the series was written yesterday before I knew I would be starting this. You can read Finding Peace here.

There will not be an ending to this series, nor will I beat it to death and only post on this topic. I will write as I am inspired. Habits for spiritual living will develop as I continue on my journey. I hope some of you will find these articles of value.

Finding Peace

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Peace is an elusive experience. Most of us do not know what what peace is. Though, we do know what peace is not: anxiety, lack of self-worth, worry, fear, distrust, arrogance, self-abasement, hate, dislike, and contempt. None of these things are of value.

Think of how hard you have to work to maintain those attitudes. You have to find something to be anxious about. You have to make up things to keep your self-esteem in the basement. You have to imagine things to fear. You have to seek reasons to distrust even people that you have never met. You have to hold on to the white hot coals of anger to maintain your hate. You have to twist your logic in knots to find 'reasons' to dislike something -- anything. These states are worthless and we maintain them with our random thoughts and imaginations.

Often we go so far as to borrow things from our past to prop up this nonsense! These memories are anchors keeping one in a tidal pool of insanity. You can untie yourself from the memories and step out of the pool. It is likely that you are so stuck in the past that there is a corresponding physical object that invokes that memory in your house. Do not go looking for it. You will find reasons not to find it.

Instead, look about you right now. Somewhere within your vision is something that is clutter, trash, dusty, present but forgotten. Get up and toss it in the trash. It has sentimental value? Really? Then why is it clutter, trash, dusty, present and forgotten? It has no value. Sentiment is an anchor to the past. Throw it away.

From that point forward move through your house every day and find something to clean up or toss out. You will come across things with negative attachments. You will find a scrap of paper that reminds you of that girl, a picture of a parent that reminds you of a traumatic time, a key chain given to you by a frenemy. You will be able to toss these objects out because you've already learned to throw away other debris from your past. Stuff means nothing but the memories attached to that stuff can keep you wallowing in a pool of unrest.

When you physically throw away these objects that action says more than, I am ready to let this go. The action is letting go. 

Will this cure all your ills? Will it be the magic salve that turns your life around? Probably not. It will help. You will have taken a bold step. You have stated that you have the will to move on, that you are willing to live in the present and that you are willing to do what is necessary to obtain peace.

Peace, my brothers and sisters, is being in alignment with G-d. Peace is being within that bounty, the unfolding. Peace is living in the now and you cannot do that clinging to yesterday.

-- Robert

The Distance Between You and G-d

You may feel that the distance between you and G-d is so vast that you think the closest you will get to "Him" is a Charlton Heston movie. You look at your current state of being, the continual mistakes, the uncontrollable habits, the fears and insecurities and you feel unworthy of your friends. You look at the past and you see little more than a wondering path of good times and bad, poor decisions that you exactly to where you are now. You look forward and see nothing better. After all, you will always be there.

Life Sucks!

You are absolutely correct. Life will suck you down a vacuum tube and drop you off exactly where you need to be. When that lightbulb clicks on and you see everything as perfect, when you hear your soul, when you know what you're supposed to do, you will understand your entire past. You will understand every mistake. You will know why you had to make them and suffer their consequences.

You. Will. Understand.

Of course, once you do, understanding means little. You simply will not care about the past. You will live in the now. You will build a future by being in the present and it is glorious.

You can do this. All you have to do is keep working. Keep going internal. Ask yourself provocative questions. Keep asking. You will awaken and find that state to be glorious. Continue my friends, continue.

Peace...it's everything it is cracked up to be.

Completion of the Great Work

So what has happened? 

A few weeks ago, my soul told me to celebrate my PTSD was cured. I allowed myself to feel the joy. I believed my soul. Though, I wasn't sure of when. Would it go away and come back? Did my soul  have a different concept of time?

Then I did the shard meditation. Something has seriously changed. 

There are no PTSD symptoms. I feel sad or nostalgic or something like that but nothing sticks. I am not sleeping much but that is due to either my back issue or being so deliriously happy that my energy levels skyrocket. 

I definitely talk to my highest soul now. There is not the slightest doubt.  I have some knowledge of that which directly connects it to the Divine. There is a plan for my life. I am following that plan and I am excited. 

My healing work for others is doing great. 

I feel that I have accomplished everything I ever wanted to as a magician. I am whole. I can do kick ass magick. I am aware of my divine link. 

Have I completed the Great Work? No.

The Great Work includes simply BEING in alignment with your soul and DOING  what you are supposed to be doing. The Great Work does not end. We simply continue to unfold. 

You can do this too. Have no doubt. You can do it. Take the steps. Keep taking them. No matter how hard it gets, keep walking forward. Know that someday, you will deeply connect to your soul and G-d. You are so close right now. So very close.

You have seen my struggles. I have hidden nothing. You know it is hard. Now, I am going to show you why the journey is worth the effort.

Let Peace descend upon you my brothers and sisters! You are perfect. You are divine. All you have to do, is remember.