Creating Corridors

I was once amazed when a friend told me how she travels the dream corridors. I have a vague idea of what that means but not really. I haven't experienced something like that enough to say, "Oh, dream corridors are..."

There is something I am working on magickally that I have never had in my life or, if I had it, never recognized it. This something falls within the realm of Netzach, Venus or Aphrodite. Yes, these powers deal with things other than eros!

Since I have no link to this thing, using magick for it is difficult. My normal easy thought forms and the like won't cut it. So, I have a candle, consecrated by my own blood sacrifice, on my private altar. Every day I burn the candle and pray to Aphrodite.

I have seen signs of things coming to fruition but they are definitely not here yet. Last night or the night before I spontaneously 'looked' at what my prayers were doing. I found myself traveling down a tunnel that seems to be in the process of being carved through the astral. When I reach the end I can feel the emotional satisfaction of being within the flow of this energy.

My point is that you can obtain that which seems 'outside' of your life through persistent effort as opposed to various loud magical barrages at the target.

"Mom" Update

In speaking to the daughter today, I learned a few things.

Friday, the day after I worked on her back, the doctor ordered x-rays of her back infection. They expect no change from these but are going to take another set Monday.

Today, she got out of bed on her own...without any pain. This is quite a feat for someone that hasn't managed to get out of bed without pain in four months and has only accomplished getting up a few times on her own. Mom reports that her back pain is greatly reduced and she is feeling a better over all.

On the other hand, she was found unconscious during the late afternoon today due to very low blood sugar. This is after a day of eating well. I find this very concerning.

New Client and Triangle Space Impact

I have been presented a difficult case involving a a woman in her early sixties that has the following issues:

heart (she has stints)
small strokes
diabetes
a growth on her back to be biopsied
a broken back

Her daughter enlisted my aid. I have in my possession some of the woman's hair and the daughter's hospital visitor's badge. These I have placed on a non-GD altar that I keep in my bedroom. The first night the items were there, the daughter reported that her entire family slept great that night for the first time since mom had been admitted to the hospital. This family is very turbulent but very devoted to mom. It never occurred to me placing items on my little altar would have any impact on the family. However, I do know the reactions of family to health emergencies does have an emotional impact on the ill person. So, keeping family healthy and well rested would have some sort of impact.

I woke up Thursday morning about 5:45, about a half hour early. I immediately took the link from my altar and went to work. My first task was the growth on her back. I think it is more extensive than that and worked to starve it and the corresponding growths that I could see.

This morning, I worked on the broken back. Much like I reported recently, this time, I don't feel like I did anything aside from focus the compassion of the universe upon the client. What I saw looked like 1970's special effects. I looked at her through lights and stars. She was a blurred image behind them. The image was very cool but I did it help? I don't know yet and may never know on that one.

Triangle Work

I invoked Hermes last night using my triangle space method. It still has some bugs to work out but when I get to a certain point I feel a wholeness that is awesome. Wholeness is a form of holiness but it doesn't feel as one normally conceives of that word, holiness. I did not feel like the Dali Lama but very very present.

Hermes himself taught me to use the triangle form as a sort of magnetic engine. At the basal angle I can place a negative force and then my perceived positive counter-force at the other. As I move through the space the apex becomes the reconciler, which I drag to one of the basal angles. This in turn immediately creates the energies of the other angels. The faster I move the faster these energies grow, twist and change. Awesome stuff but a bit of a frenzy to work within.

I am sure I will do this again.

The Consequences of Oaths

I once took this oath:

The Oath of the Abyss

1. I, ___________, a member of the Body of God, hereby bind myself on behalf of the Whole Universe, even as we are now physically bound unto the cross of suffering:
2. that I will lead a pure life, as a devoted servant of the Order:
3. that I will understand all things:
4. that I will love all things:
5. that I will perform all things and endure all things:
6. that I will continue in the Knowledge and Conversation of my Holy Guardian Angel:
7. that I will work without attachment:
8. that I will work in truth:
9. that I will rely only upon myself:
10. that I will interpret every phenomenon as a particular dealing of God with my soul.

I bitch about the impact of this oath a lot. I was doing so the other day to my friend, I lamented that I was the only person in a situation that got called on his actions while everyone else got a pass. He said, "Yeah but you're the only one that took an oath to grow spiritually."

Game. Set. Match.

Fuck.

Living like this is a bitch. Many years ago RO was right when he said never take that oath. He continued, "It puts a target on your back." Yes, there is a target on your back 24/7. I step two inches out of line and the Universe descends -- corrects me -- slaps me upside the head with a clue-by-four when necessary. Tighter and tighter winds the cord and deeper down the rabbit hole I go. That said Exupery was right, "Perfection is not achieved when there is nothing left to add but nothing left to take away." This oath takes a lot away.

Early in my journey a Yaqui native told me, "You can become the person you want to be because you listen." He was right. I do. I listen every time the universe smacks me. I am aware of the fact that it keeps smacking me until I draw the proper conclusions. All of these corrections seem to point out what I am not to be so that I can be what I Am. If you want to grow spiritually, learn to heal, read souls or whatever it is that you are meant to do, you have to dive in.

RO was right. It puts a target on your back but the bulls eye is the True You. How you dive in, under what oaths, what traditions or lack thereof is up to you but if you don't dive, you're wasting your time. DIVE. DIVE NOW.

You know who you are...and soon you will know more.

Tetrahedron: the Four Fires

The Platonic solid associated with fire is the tetrahedron. This is a four-side figure of triangles. (See link for an image.) Three sides are always visible  one is hidden. This figure is especially important in my visualization of the soul and method of its operation. In the lore of the Western Tradition there are four aspects of fire volcanic, solar, astral and latent. These are associated with the four sides of the solid.

Researching these aspects of fire in Heremetic lore is pointless. I have been told again and again there is nothing to be found. In order to understand them, one must look to physics, fire science and meditation.

Today, in the shower, I had a personal epiphany about these forms of fire. So, right now I am working with this.

Volcanic is that fire which is so creative that it is destructive. It can best be shared as INRI, Igne Natura Renovatur Integra (All Nature WIll Be Renewed By Fire). This is the side that in operation of the soul must be left unseen. Revealing it makes one's fellow humans recoil into denial. No one wants to get renewed through fire!

Solar is that fire that sustains life. It is the perpetual expression of the life force. It's image is the solar sigil. This is forefront as microcosmically it is our personality.

Astral, this is the fire that creates something new. This is astral action that builds something there that it may manifest here. Its image is the lightening bolt. This can remain in sight because no one can see it.

Latent heat is the heat within all things at rest. It is the heat of the seed, potential. Yet it is also the the residual spent force of creation, like warm charcoal after a barbecue. The heat of the physical form. This is the only one I have ever heard anyone try to explain.

Some may read this and say this is not a big deal. For me, it is huge as I delve into the nature of the soul.

Asperger Result and My Soul on Fire

Mom of child with aspergers, "The [most ill child] is now like a normal kid." I asked if this was just him being better behaved by still displaying symptoms of asperger's. She said, "No, like a normal kid maybe above average." He is doing his homework, paying attention to instructions and the like.

The other younger child is not himself. She kept using words like "He needs to find his way." He appears to be searching for what he lost when the bar was removed. This sounds like a normal reaction to me, given the circumstance. He lost part of who he thought he was. Heck, maybe even who he was. Maybe he was supposed to have that bar attached his whole life. I don't think so though.

My Soul on Fire

I have learned to see the geometric shape I associate with my soul in color. In doing so, I poured out sweat. I felt immense power. It freaked me out. I stopped the visualization, for now.

Working Within Binah/Saturn Space

I have a small altar in my bedroom. Upon it, is a seven day candle dedicated to a goddess anointed with my own blood. Her name is written on the back in crayon and can barely be seen.

The candle is lit every day. I simply ponder the goddess in question. The energy emitting from that space makes me long for many more altars in my home.

Tonight, Her voice told me to use my triangle method and call to Her. Images, candles and the like were not necessary. This, I was told, was my reward. I dislike hearing words like that. I have never had anything happen for good or ill as a result of such promises of reward. I obey anyway.

The triangle casting was a little awkward. I didn't do something I did the first time. What I am not sure. The space did hum with energy though. I called to the goddess. She told me what to ask Her for. Seeing no harm in it, I did. I was given nice visuals during the process.

We will see if there is any effect. My forecast is dubious. Though, it did get me in there using the triangular space and working out the kinks.