Spiritually Content But...

I have reached a place of spiritual peace. I am very happy with my relation with the divine. I have a ontological view that, while not unique, I developed on my own that really speaks to my soul in a deep way. People have tried to bring me down since my spiritual rebirth. I have had a pagan tell me that I am out of touch with reality, bipolar and dangerous. I have had evangelicals tell me that I am going to hell (and they have never met me).  I have had a couple of friends look at my sideways. None of these things have had an impact. I know exactly who I am, what I am doing and where I am going. I don't need to denigrate anyone to remain there. In fact, I find myself lifting people's spirits and creating smiles. Life is good.

On another note...

I filled out personal life evaluation form as part of my life coach training the other day. This form breaks various parts of your life into sections and then asks you to rate them. I rated my spiritual satisfaction very high. Had I found a category or two further off the mark than I expected, I would have been find with that. Instead, I found many off the mark. This form reflected exactly the effort I've put into things in my life. My spiritual success has come at a price that I am no longer willing to pay.

So, while maintaining my current spiritual place and even continuing making progress on my path, my main focus is going to move to other areas. The upside for me is that I know how to put an effort into the things I deeply want as proven by my spiritual quest.

Separated for Chance of Union

A coworker once stated that no one can answer why suffering leads to spirituality. Why did G-d make it that way? S/He could have done something else. Well, we could have been made with three arms, vocal cords that do not allow us to choke or see-it-all Google glasses. We were not. I cannot speak to why it is so but perhaps to the function.

I used to ask my Christian friends why they felt prayer was necessary. If God is omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient, what is the point of prayer? He knows what you want, what you need etc. So, prayer does what exactly? No one could gave me an answer that wasn't full of hidden I don't knows and evasions. I eventually stopped asking. It just made folks uncomfortable.

A couple of months back during a healing, I found myself standing there doing nothing. The healing was taking place unguided by myself. What am I doing here? I am not necessary to this process. That is when the answer to my old question hit me.

People know when they need some sort of intervention. They light candles, go to a church service, do some hocus pocus or the like. All of these things have an otherworldly or external feel to them. When someone that cares about you prays for you, they are expressing compassion and as much as saying, "We are in this together." We pray for each other because it is an expression of compassion. That compassion allows us to grow closer to our fellow humans. We feel less alone. In short, we are learning to unify with each other, tiny little pieces of G-d, until we learn to unify with the larger whole.

We suffer because we are separated. Prayer and other compassionate acts bring us together and alleviates all sorts of pain. Suffering people gain spiritual success because through their own trials, they learn universal compassion. In that state, Unity permeates their being and we see that as spiritual success.

Habits of Spiritual Living: Your Will

Doing your true will is often sighted as the goal of the modern magician. The true will as I see it is living in accordance with one's soul purposes, note the plural. While the ultimate lesson may be a full return to unity or singularity, the smaller tasks we use to get there can all be classified as soul purposes. 

Doing one's true will is very active -- fiery. The phrase reveals an attitude of discovering one's will and thrusting it forward into one's life situations and thus into the lives of others. This is a very Crowleyesque way of living. In fact, he said that if one is doing one's true will, it is the fault of others if they are in the way.

While his point is understandable, there is a difference between imposing one's will upon an event and receiving one's will within a larger situation. The latter reflects a true respect for the teaching nature of all situations. The process is not of discovering so we can do, but learning so we can be.

Receiving one's will from within a situation means that we have engaged in actively listening to the divine notes unfolding within ourselves and others. Doing this means that have asked some questions so often that our lives resonate with situationally specific answers.

•   What are my values?
•   What stimulates my soul to joy?
•   What does the other want and more importantly need?
•   How can I contribute by honoring my values and the needs being expressed?

Living by the answers to these questions allows us  to be continually instructed and refined. We become part of a greater melody rather than a discordant note in the lives of others.

It not helpful to over or undervalue ourselves or the other. Discounting our own values or soul joys is dangerous because doing so is often injurious. Unnecessary, short-term obstacles will appear. Discounting other's wants out-of-hand is dangerous because they often reveal a deeper need. If one cannot see into that deeper need, it is best to simply honor the wants of others as best we can. Failing to do so can heighten angst to disturbing levels and increase suffering.

Honoring the wants and needs of the other, must be done with due honor and reverence to our own values. For, sacrificing those leads to our own suffering. When we make choices that strike the proper balance we live joyful divinely connected lives effortlessly.

We do not over or undervalue ourselves or the other.

Expansion lessons.

Note: I am drunk blogging. I did the MM tonight and it had some extra pop. Oddly, I find myself drunk on bad wine. It was what I had laying around.

As previously reported, my next lessons are those of expansion.

Thursday and Friday I was hit with incredible waves of sadness. One came from the Psychic who was missing her deceased mother. It was very sad but bearable. Last night, it came from a childhood friend. Her pain was more difficult to deal with. I believe because the situation is ongoing. Horrible.

In neither case could I tell where the energy came from. I had to ask around. All I knew was the the person was female. More than one person claimed to be the emitter of the energy. Upon the right person explaining why they were sad, I knew which matched.

These were sad events. The feelings impacted my evenings.

Earlier in the week I heard a rumor that the perpetrator of the very bad thing claimed another victim. I found this sad too but it impacted me in no other way.

I have been applying my life coaching training to various social situations and find myself to using those tools to be much more outgoing.

Overall, the week has been the most difficult since my rebirth on February 4. One day, I had a great deal of difficulty seeing the perfection. I woke up feeling like old Robert. I had old Robert's attitude. However, I managed to contain it within  for the most part. The rest of the week, I felt and saw the perfection, only it brought less joy than before.

Void of Course Moon Experimentation

I have been doing a lot of visiting with ideas gathered over the course of my career regarding the void course of the moon. I posted a smattering of my experience here that I reference below.

I posit that the sights I see during voc are not as random as they appear but an unfiltered vision of unmanifested forces not unlike, though a bit more complicated, than a photographic negative. The woman I saw was surrounded in green because she has a 'desire' for me based upon my abilities and healing I have done for her and her family. This desire is a response to an unhealthy view of myself as an 'advanced' human. Green is the color of desire. The sword with the pommel in the stone shows my tendency at the time to find the most painful implications of thought and never grasping them in a way that I could use them properly.

When the moon is not void the energies pass through its field which stabilizes them for manifestation. I am therefore going to look at some difficult challenges in my life through the void of course moon and see if I can draw conclusions by observing their unfiltered state. It will not be long before I place some magick within the VOC and watch it flow through.

Stay tuned.

Magickal Dangers

We've all read about the rules of magick. When we first told we look at them as procedure. A spell casting should have a link such as a lock of hair, unwashed garments etc. We are told to guard our magickal items closely as they can be used against us. Most people understand those thoughts and follow along. Then we are told to beware of the void course of the moon. The what?

Several experiences of late have proven to me once and for all that these are not mere procedure but esoteric facts. 

I have plans to sell my house and move as part of my new life plan. So, I am cleaning out my magickal storage room. I have a bedroom full of stuff. There are twelves shelves with so many books they are falling off the rack. There are bins on the floor, a closet packed with mostly magickal items and two garage-type storage shelves packed to overflowing. Some of it is hitting the trash, other items are saved because they may be useful or because they have been used in a manner that makes tossing them out seem disrespectful. This is a lot of work.

The education I am getting from this trip down memory lane is invaluable. I am finding items that other people left behind after ritual that I must have placed in that room for safe keeping. When I pick them up, I am reminded of the ownders and how they have changed or not changed. I am shocked by the little mundane things that should not have held energy to them but explode in a field of emotion. The memories come back just as if they were evoked by an old song. If it was a magickal garment, I would understand. If it was jewelry, I'd understand. A take out menu? You have got to be kidding me. 

I assume the person who left the menu underwent an initiation that night or was being broken down by the process or some such thing.  I swear if I wanted to curse or bless that person, I could have easily done so with that menu in my hand. I threw it away. 

Lesson: Never leave your magickal items at anyone's house. If you have to, make a list of what you bring and check off the inventory as you leave. Do not leave the house without your stuff. You cannot be assured the person who finds it will not hold a grudge five years later or want to experiment with your life. They may be your friend now, you may be mistaken or they may become temporarily unstable and do something stupid. Secondly, those things from emotional times, good or bad, are even more potent than genetic material left behind. The more emotionally charged you are, the more careful you should be. Obvious problem, the more emotional you are, the harder it is to be careful.

The void course of the moon is a different animal all together. In fact, if it were an animal it would be a duck-billed platypus. If you don't know how odd this animal is, do some research. You'll find that it is the only poisonous mammal in North America. Does it deliver it's poison with a bite, a sting or spit? No, it has a bone spur on its hind foot, foot, not feet. 

From Wikipedia, which jived with what I already knew, The unusual appearance of this egg-laying, duck-billed, beaver-tailed, otter-footed mammal baffled European naturalists when they first encountered it, with some considering it an elaborate fraud. It is one of the few venomous mammals, the male platypus having a spur on the hind foot that delivers a venom capable of causing severe pain to humans. I am pretty sure this creature manifested during a void of course moon.

When I first started to encounter the effects of this phenomena, I was baffled. I explained strange disjointed visions and was told to check the moon calendar for those dates and find out if the moon was void. It was in each case.

The last time I encountered this was during a healing session. I could see the person I was trying to heal but she was within this weird post-industrial punk scene. She was within a corroded copper-green iron skeleton of a building, table saw blades floated by, a green fuzzy cloud swam through the air, electric currents hummed and before here was a shimmering group of vertical lines looking much like a bar code.

In other visions, I have seen a bird with an ax for a head, a sword buried in a rock...but the hilt was in the rock, air that was on fire, trees growing downward from the sky and that was just what I can describe.

My theory on this is the moon filters energies through the lens of the house it is in. When that filter is not there, you get the full energy of manifestation but as a blind force. It will ground but it doesn't care how, just like lightening. Watch out or you will get fried. With that, there shouldn't be a lot of questions about why magick is a bad idea during this time unless you are more talented or experienced than I.

This blind force reminds me very much of PTSD clients. More on that in a future post.

The Lesson of Expansion

The vision of mountain ranges speed by as the earth rolled beneath me in what I can only describe as the IMAX of the mind. There was scant transition between that and seeing the globe from space. From there I understood that expansion is movement past limitations. 

The real understanding came when that idea became personal. The first lesson, seeing the passive-aggressive people in my life, how I projected virtue upon them and the power games they play passed through my mind. This allowed me to expand past that particular game and create my personal life by avoiding that scenario. This was the minor lesson, the precursor.

The second revelation was descending back to Earth and flying by the actress that engineered the very bad thing. The vision shot me past her in an instant. I have no intellectual understanding of what that taught me. It was more than moving past an incident or a person.

Back in space, the earth was contained in a bubble of spirit. The powerful lesson hit me. The earth is complete. Every moment, every incident, every action, everything is complete. If something happens now, it is complete now even if an additional thing happens later. For instance, if I have a discussion with someone and that party says, "I do not know the answer to your question," and we part company, the interaction is complete. It is a whole distinct thing to itself. Later, if the man comes back with an answer that interaction is complete unto itself. 

This all sounds obvious but my words do not convey the emotional impact nor the knowledge of completeness. This is how the universe is at every moment. Complete. Whole. 

So there is now Robert's Reality:

1. All things are perfect; The perfection is the unfolding.
2. All things are continually created by a shower of light.
3. All things are complete; All things are whole.