Examing the Obvious

The subtitle to this post could be: Pissing Everyone Off

Given that I've made two posts about confirming your magick and lost four subscribers, three immediately after the first one and one after the second, I figure this one will cost me five or six. Who cares? Being a magician is partially about thinking things through critically and not hanging on to our preconceived notions with a zealot's grip.

In the speech I made at Pantheacon this year, I made a point about the blinds we all face in every day life, much less when pursuing our HGA. The portion of the work being described fits the psychological model which does apply to certain aspects of the Great Work. The blinds mentioned are beliefs we have that we hold near and dear to our hearts and true and obvious only later to discover these things are lies told to ourselves to root us in place. The example I used was that of a man who finds excuses to hate his family because deep inside he knows he put himself in a bad place by ignoring their advice.

I also examined, very briefly, the blind, "Bloods and Crypts are bad because they are violent." I stated that as obvious as this is to everyone in the room, it still needed to be examined because that fellow that hated his family felt his reasons were just as self-evident.

That preamble leads from thoughts converging from two sources. Von Faustus' post in which he says teacher demanding 'undo sex or money' must be more than suspect and my research into the Ancient Greeks. So tonight, I am asking, what's so bad about sex and the occult or even pagan worship for that matter?

I will leave aside that asking for sex in certain types of groups is well outside the egregore. A teacher demanding sex in the Golden Dawn orders should, in my opinion, be shot. A teacher having sex with his 'students' should be suspect but not immediately discounted, adults are adults. Though, in general, that would lead to more trouble than the orgasm is really worth. I assume the same would hold true for the OTO and other such bodies.

However, is it outside of acceptable standards all the time?

From what I've been reading in "Greek Folk Religion" by Martin Nilsson, orgiastic cults were not uncommon in ancient Greece at all. Dionysus, Persephone, Demeter, Pan, Bacchus, Sabastios all had sexual cults and I haven't read sixty pages yet! This was how some of the gods were worshipped. Even Artemis, whom I remember as quite chaste, had sexual cults. As classical Greek culture developed these groups were either suppressed or very much looked down upon. Though, they were kept alive through story telling. Were the ancients preserving some secret or were the stories repeated for titillation alone?

So, would someone recruiting folks to worship in the old ways, be suspect? If I formed Frater BH's Orgy to Bacchus and Bowling Group that met every other Friday for bowling and sex (dedicated to the god of course) would I immediately be someone to be avoided? It depends. If the leader of this supposed group billed the rites as strictly platonic, only later to reveal the sexual nature after he had some method of coercing people to continue, yes, he is more than suspect. What if such things were revealed in the beginning and this person actually had managed to tap into the mysteries of these gods? In short, s/he was a priest of the old ways.

Would it be bad because our 20th Century sensibilities have been so overwhelmed by our long ago puritan founders that we can not conceive of such a thing being holy? Must all religion be performed from a stoic sexual distance? Can not wine and merry making and hanky panky be making a 'joyful noise until the Lord' albeit a different one than most refer to by that phrase?

With so many pagans espousing a belief in some fertility religion or another, is it horrible to conceive of some actual fertility? Or must all be symbolic?

Frankly, a lot of damage can be done through sex. Shocking someone in a sexual situation can result in psychological devastation. Even those people that believe themselves to be sexually free may feel very traumatized after willfully visiting a swingers club much less some recreation of an ancient worship service. Anyone starting such a group that isn't aware of that would be irresponsible and playing with interpersonal dynamite.

Does that mean a responsible, well-trained, fully initiated priest of the mysteries of any of the above mentioned ancient gods can not conduct such rites without being declared persona non grata? My guess is that any such a person making him or herself known in the pagan community would be ostracized in a heartbeat. They'd be ejected by the very same people that rejected Christianity for its puritan ways and its divorce from the natural functions of the universe.

I think forming such a cult/group would be a slippery slope at best. It may even be unwise. However, I think for the pagan culture to reject such a group out of hand reveals our own puritan ways and how deeply those ways have been instilled within us. As magicians, we should stop and think. Should we challenge these ideals within ourselves? Should we challenge them when encountering such a sexual group and simply let it be? Or should we maintain the status quo and remove these fictional people under the guise of protecting our community or whatever the chant of the day may be?

Von Faustus also mentioned accepting money for occult instruction was bad, except for supplies or keeping a suitable space for working in operation. Why? Those that think they are related to the Rosicrucian way who follow the injunction, Promise nothing except to heal and that gratis, would be remiss to take money for teaching. I'd bet those that practice Hoodoo can not fathom why money would not be acceptable. We'd compensate any other learned person for his or her time would we not? We pay to go to college to learn mundane things. Is paying to learn spiritual things so out of line? Yes, there is another slippery slope there but must all paths be shunned for the potential of a fall?

I am going to pay someone to teach me tantra. Should I be suspect of her? I think not.

Study Study Study

I've been pouring over books about the ancient Greeks of late. I had actually read about fifty-five pages before I realized I stopped taking notes on page 32. Tonight, I turned back to that page, pen in hand and note book at the ready. I will not only read but I will learn. That Enochian spell has really changed my behavior.

Pimping A Friend

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I thought I'd put out a plug for my friend Lew. Lew runs and owns the Pagan Radio Network. I've known Lew for more years than I care to remember. His sister is an ex-girlfriend and he is an ex-roommate. He is a good guy with a young son that he takes care of. He lives about an hour south of me.

If you're pagan and you like music, check out his internet radio station. Click on the link above to take a listen.

I like the picture below. So, I thought I'd add it in.

Moon

Over the last week, I've been in a lot of pain. This problem had really improved over the last six months. This week has been horrible.

The doctor asked me if there were any emotional triggers. I said no. It is my automated response. "Are you okay?" "Yup, just fine." Meanwhile, someone is applying a tourniquet. Double that for emotional questions? Yes, I'm fine. No problem. If it wasn't for this back of mine...

So, let's see what happened before it went south.

• We didn't bury my grandmother. She had donated her body to science and they frown of having to dig them back up. We held a wake of sorts. There were lots of old pictures which were really cool.
• I went to Pantheacon, got my ass kicked by Pan, in a good way (I think).
• I went through that tantra class, which was certainly an emotional change.
• I confronted some shadow imagery.

As a result, I have a freer spirit. Though, the rest of my is still trying to go back into old restraining habits. Enter my back pain. This may simply the result of my conscious self being so willing and adaptable to change and the rest of me continuing to be a rigid jack ass.

Solution: Find a moon goddess. Ask her to help me accept change. Invoke often.

A Successful Bit of Magick

I mentioned in this post, that I did for some things for myself. One of them, was to improve my ability to study and retain information regarding spiritual things. I read but rarely study what I read. When I do, it is forced. I simply do not like doing it. However, I want the knowledge.

The spirit gave me a sign to make and I did, though I don't like it much. I will make a better one.

Today, a book called "Greek Folk Religion" arrived in the mail. I very enthusiastically opened it, read it and have studied the pages. I have taken notes. I have saved them in a binder. I am in great physical pain. I am on pain medication is large doses and still I am studying.

I've posted recently about confirmations. This is one. This is a radical change in emotional state and behavior. Some would say it worked because I wanted it to. I could have done this without magick. Of course I wanted it to, or I would not have done it. However, without the magick, I wasn't doing this at all, I merely wanted to. This magick worked. The only question is, for how long?

Only the Shadow Knows

Frater RO posted what he thought were my thoughts on the shadow. I have started speeches and, indeed, restate in the bio of this blog that I am not a scholar. I have no idea what the psychological definition of the shadow is, Von Faustus would.

I was speaking of the version of the shadow I encountered at Pantheacon. In that case, what I said and Fr. RO quoted is accurate. The shadow I encountered is "everything we reject that maybe we shouldn't"

Pardon me while I get personal. I like sex. I think sex is healthy. I think sex is good. I don't think you need to married. I don't think you need to be monogamous. Personally, I have no issue were you to go with your instinct and do it in a shopping mall in front of the gods and passersby.* In fact, I have a good friend that did over 300 men in about a year and half. She has now settled down and is monogamous. My level of respect for her didn't change in either phase. Though, I think she is happier now. If you want to get laid wearing a Richard Nixon mask with a pink feather sticking out of your butt, more power to you. You just go with that.
I, on the other hand, have been taught sex is bad, dirty, etc. I've suffered a few trauma's in that area and I have issues. Those issues are completely ridiculous! If I was half the magician I think I am, they'd be in the waste bucket of history long ago. Unfortunately, they are not. Those issues, the reasons for them, the insecurities are all suppressed. I pretend they don’t exist. They became part of my shadow. When I can live without that shadow darkening my spirit, I have a lot of fun. Though, sometimes, I encounter other people’s shadows. If that spins them out, too bad for them. Though, I try not to be rude.

Also at Pantheacon, I did a tantra workshop. Sylvia Brallier is the bomb! I posted before that I laughed the laugh of the liberated. Basically, my “all shadow” dissolved. Everything I’ve repressed was gone. Every insecurity was revealed as being completely ridiculous and delusional. This wasn’t done one by one but by simply knowing the true joy of the spirit. The joy society, and all of its shadows, works so hard to kill.

The shadow is not bad bad bad. The shadow is simply errant thinking we’ve ceded power to. Nothing more. Exploring that sort of shadow and, I use this word just to piss off My Gal, reclaiming those items, was and is fun.

There is another form of shadow. This shadow is where evil lurks. That shadow is that part of some humans that pushes them to molest children and, just for giggles, steal little old ladies’ walkers or even worse, produce white chocolate. There are shadows that cause us to actively engage in evil. I don’t know the right term for that either but in a practical sense, those are bad bad bad.

My viewpoint of the shadow has evolved. It is now something that I will explore with joy. I’ve contacted Sylvia Brallier for quarterly tantra lessons as she doesn’t live nearby. Otherwise, I’d be there weekly. I look forward to those lessons with great anticipation. I will become that which does not cast a shadow.

* While I have no objection to that act per se, I do have an issue with the shock it would cause children in this society. The human mind, much less an impressionable developing mind, can not go from 0 to 60 in a sexual heartbeat. The act is immoral only within the context of a society whose main goal is sexual repression. The immorality comes from the fact that the act is far too likely to extend the damage society is already working to inflict upon the child. That being said, there is nothing inherently immoral about having sex in any consensual circumstances with other humans capable of making an informed decision to participate.

Verification

Today, I posted about an act of magick. I said I'd post the results here. Can any determination of the effectiveness of my magick be made here? It is a good idea to determine what constitutes proof before any event occurs. Otherwise, one can be led into delusion.

The spell was for the spirit to determine if the car can be repaired with its safety features in tact, If that is possible. If so, the spirit was to make or influence the insurance company repair the car rather than declaring the vehicle totalled. How could a spirit know if the car can be repaired safely? Likely by reading the mind of the mechanic I suppose but I don't know. So, let us say the insurance company says the car must be totalled. Did the spell work or not? No real way to tell. Perhaps, the car could not be repaired safely. They determined that and totalled the car. No way to prove magickal influence there. Let us say they deterimine the car can be repaired and do so. Aside from the minor miracle of an insurance company paying a claim, this could have happened without my magick being involved. There is no real way to tell.

No matter what happens there, no valid test can be made.

Was my time wasted? No. I learned about I spirit that I know was there. I know because I saw him and he explained things in a manner that was new to me. He gave me signs to use to help the other things I asked for come to fruition. Can those magicks be proven effective? Not exactly, but they can be with a higher probability than the car.

Enochian Work - Volunteered

My back has been giving me problems of late. Perhaps because I didn't not seal properly after helping some one. I know that drained my ability to perform magick. I sealed that leak and now I'm back in the saddle magickally. The back is still a problem but it has been SO MUCH better of late that I can not complain.

Last night, a friend called for a favor. She had been in an auto accident and she didn't want the insurance company to declare the car totalled, if it could be fixed safely. So, I did a little Enochian today. I know, some folks would say that they don't understand issues such as that. But, that is what they say. Who are they? I gave it a shot.

I didn't do this last night because I was on too many meds. Viciden does not help me with magick. However, if I take the exact right dose for the pain level, it is basically a slightly slower form of sober. I can do magick like that. That exact dosage level is rare but it happened today.

I did the LBRP astrally. It was one of the best 'visualized' LBRPs I've ever done. I'd like to make a brief comment on that. I have only rarely successfully astral projected. So, to say I did the ritual astrally is not really correct. I did it in my head but projected my thoughts away from my body. I 'saw' myself performing the right. I 'heard' my voice saying the words. I have done this before and then, unhappy with the result, got up and did it physically. This time, it felt really good.

I burned Mugwort because that is what the back of my brain screamed at me to burn. I wanted Dittany of Crete. I was overruled.

I did the normal opening but instead of just saying the words, I used the fingers of either hand as drum sticks and tapped out the beat. I have no rythym so it would have sounded odd to you but it helped me. There is a form of psychotherapy that my sister is certifed to perform that involves stimulating the patient by playing sounds, tapping shoulders etc in such a way that alternate sides of the body are stimulated. This is said to break up thought patterns. Does it? Who knows but I think it helped because the spirits landed with a whallop.

The normal opening complete, I called the Mercury senior of the earth tablet. He came, loud and grumpy. I banished him immediately because I instantly recognized what was wrong. I had failed to call the King of the tablet first. Always call the king when working with a senior of a tablet. I called Iczhhca, the merciful side of the king. He landed with a kindly thump. Then he kindly gave me permission to call Ahmlicu.

I explained what was needed. First, he needed to determine if the car would be structurally safe after the repairs. If so, the 'people that decide' aka the insurance company need to allow the car to be repaired rather than totalled. He agreed and said it could be done. He then said that the person asking needs to fulfill the reason she gave me for asking this. "She asked for it." This was not negotiable. He didn't say it either way but I knew. I agreed for her.

Nanta once told me all of my magick with the earth tablet will work. We shall see. I will report the results here.

I continued asking for two things for myself. There was no 'price'. However, I was instructed to make a particular symbol of each desire. Neither of which could be identified as even Enochian much less as the spirit in question. Does that count as a pact? Technically, I have no idea. However, it isn't a pact in my mind at all. It is simply a physical form for the magick to adhere to.

He then explained that his job is to foster interchanges and asked me if I understood how that applied to commerce, travel and communication. I certainly did. It is one thing to know these things are linked but it is quite another to feel it as the spirit explains. Have I mentioned that I LOVE ENOCHIAN? It simply kicks ass.

All in all, I am pleased.

Volunteer

The Fresno Pagan Pride Day coordinator has dropped the PPD label as she wants to branch out. I have volunteered to do a Greek reconstructionist ritual. Fortunately, I had just ordered a lot of books on the topic.

Art Work

I have started playing with wood burning. The picture attached is my first try. I didn't draw the figure but I did do the leaves on the staff free hand. I think it is excellent for my first try.