Willful Creation

More and more of my magickal practices are being defined by my interpretation of the Three of Wands.

The wands are always about some version of creative force. The threes exist in the qabalistic world of Atziluth, the creative plane, the realm of gods and the One, Logos or whatever you want to call it. Personally, I view the One as a bit further back beyond even our poor conception of this world but that is another rant altogether.

The threes exist in Binah, the sephira of Saturn, time, restriction, form. Binah is also the seat of the Lesser Neschemah, that part of us that is connected to all things. The lesser Neschemah is part of our immortal soul as well, sometimes called the Greater Neschemah.

This makes the 3 of Wands the Creative part of the soul properly restricted into a form and temporal space and thus suited to our incarnative purpose. Yes, I just made up the word incarnative. Deal with it. Given this definition, I must live within that personal space or strive for it. As a friend and I were discussing, it is amazing how freeing such restriction can be.

The esoteric name of the Three of Wands is the Lord of Virtue.

These ideas are now being combined with the ideas from the Magus of Strovolos.  He believed that in our lives we create elementals. Those elementals are our consistent thoughts. Even after we evolve past them, those elementals are alive, seek to continue living and do influence our lives in a similar manner to karma. They do this until we burn off their energy and links to ourselves. This idea resonated with me.

I have begun consciously choosing which elementals to create as I begin my day. Peace, love, compassion, laughter and the like. I create them in my mind, attach them to my aura and ask them to release themselves during my interactions with others. I really don't care whom they go to or when for two reasons. The first is that I didn't control where my negative elementals went. Secondly, if one is truly sending peace, love, compassion and laughter, it seems counter productive to control who gets to receive them. Releasing such things should be done in a selfless manner.

Water Water Everywhere...

I am dealing with some serious water (emotional) issues on more than a few fronts. Those issues have manifested physically as follows:

• Water meters were installed by the city in my neighborhood last week. We are the last city in the state to get them.
• Just before that, I noticed dirt in my tap water on rare occasion. I have a line that needs repaired.
• I am working to install drip irrigation in the backyard, which was a long held plan
• My kitchen faucet is falling apart and needs replaced.
• A house cleaner broke the stopper mechanism in my bathroom sink.
• I gave up Diet Pepsi due to aspartame. Now I drink one cup of coffee in the morning. Ninety percent of the rest of my liquid intake is water.
• I have to literally apply frozen water to my arm as I have tendinitis. 

Emotional correspondences include

• The sudden death of my father.
• A new girlfriend (that part is fun and fulfilling)
• The Medusa issue I am dealing with
• Being humbled at work
• the revisiting of a host of issues from past lodge work from both sides of the plate
• odd comments from friends that hit home like sledge hammers that aren't intended to
• fears for the health of a friend
• hearing about a dying man nearly daily at work
• An acute sense of the need to be fully self-reliant in areas that I've had assistance before
• The highs of some of the most unifying magick I've ever done. This shouldn't be interpreted as jumping for joy highs but more of a quiet satisfaction with those workings.

Lately these issues have been exacerbated by magickal work. The Helpful Deity and Hermes brought me so high twice that it really stretched my emotional ability to handle the change. I am trying really hard to be expressive with the Gentle Soul but the rest of these things are forcing me inward. Worse, I contacted my egregore to make sure I was on the right track and found myself in mid-river. In a way that was good as part of what I learned by dipping in those waters was immediately confirmed. In a way that was bad because the last thing I feel I want is more water in my life.

That said, I feel the strong push to revisit the path of death ritually and seek its highest climbs. Doing that at this point seems both insane and the right thing to do.

EDIT: The path of death is Scorpio and there are three symbols to Scorpio. If I do that path again, it will be the third time. Scorpio is also a very secretive sign. There are some personal emotional secrets I am learning.

The Most Important Skill of the Magician

My buddy Jack gave me a very small and polite poke when he said the problem with theurgists is that they tell you why they do things but not how. I suppose this is true. This space really isn't really about Golden Dawn style tech, which is my main training. Those techniques can be found on blogs and printed material far and wide. The problem with that is that most of it is adopted quite randomly and few that learn that way experience a full corpus. There is a lot of value in experiencing how that tech weaves itself together. Such things cannot be adequately communicated on a blog. I will come back to that point in the final paragraph.

That said, I will share with you some tech. Learn to concentrate. Every technique that I have ever took the time to develop with any sort of skill has worked just fine. Though, some worked better than others. Why? Those techniques work with my personality in such a way that my concentration is better. Every act of magick that I consider the 'best' I have done, has one thing in common. During the ritual or practice, my concentration was at its height. I can now do rituals outdoors with traffic noise and hear nothing physical at all. In returning to normal consciousness, there comes a point where it feels like someone turned on the sounds of the world again. All at once one hears the birds, cars, motor cycles, aircraft, children playing etc. 

There are lots of skills one should develop that will aid one in working various forms of magick. In my opinion, the one skill that crosses over into all forms of the WMT is concentration. It is the single most valuable skill of the magician. 

I give you this quote from the Researchers of Truth. The RoT is the group the Magus of Strovolos belonged to. 

If I have a magnifying glass and I concentrate a few rays of the Sun on a sheet of paper, it will catch fire. That's a phenomenon: concentration of the Sun rays through some means (the magnifying glass). Otherwise, the rays of the Sun are everywhere and we still feel cold. We have a cold Sun during the winter, yet a few of those rays can make a paper catch fire. Such is the Mind.

On that same page, you’ll find this:

The secret, now, is to use the Mind in the right way. We are using it in the wrong way now, definitely! And how: by enslaving the mind to serve so many petty unbridled desires, from morning to night! Desiring, desiring, desiring, changing the desires and thus enslaving the Mind to this or that desire to serve this or that emotion. And you call that life? That is not life! That is the way that makes a human being unhappy. What is the right way of using the Mind? And, what will the Mind, by using it in the right way, offer me? What is it offering me now by using it in this way? You'll have to study this.

The theurgist points the way but doesn’t direct the learning. This isn’t being secretive but respects the seeker’s ability to learn on their own in a manner that is best for that student. That skill of the teacher is much more subtle. 

Hermes, the Helpful Deity and Medusa

Thursday night, I called Hermes and the Helpful Deity with Flower. Last night, I called them with The Witch. Both nights, Hermes focused on them. From my mundane perspective, Flower was being coached from the inside out and The Witch from the outside in. Neither of these workings had anything to do with me until the end of each.

I documented the ten minute mental orgasm from Thursday night in my last post. This time, as the Witch was ready to end the rite, I was fixated on a vision of a goddess* with snakes for hair. I couldn't speak. Hermes had to explain to the Witch what I was seeing. Then he added, "He sees a threat that is not there." They conversed as to its meaning until Hermes said, "He has no idea what we are discussing," or words that effect. He was right. I was a complete blank. There was no thought process in my mind at all. It is hard to explain what it is like being conscious but having no thoughts. The Witch, who knows me well, clarified. I instantly got it. Though, my interpretation was different from hers, they are related.

My interpretation is that I see threats that are not there and by doing so, I turn my heart to stone.  In my teen years, I was socially paranoid. Later in life, I saw the contradictions in people's behavior and didn't trust them. Such things are both wise and foolish. Some people's contradictions reveal things that should be avoided. That doesn’t mean one should avoid the person. Everyone I have ever met has contradictions. To avoid all such people means you avoid all people. In this state the only people one is willing to be close to are those whose contradictions remain obscured. Later in life, this same issue resulted in contradictory ideas getting angry reactions. This is a response to a 'threat that is not there'. I've realized this in different terms previously but I like this phrasing better. It hits closer to home. My work life is the same, while not consciously, I see threats in certain situations that result emotional reactions that are not valid.

The Witch sees the conversation as relating to fears of goddesses in general or The Goddess. She has her examples to back up that point of view. I suppose things strike upon all levels.

During the rite, she asked Hermes something to the effect of "Why Medusa?" There was an implication this 'problem' was ancient for me and was caused many lifetimes ago. Hermes replied and I quote, "Every once in a while, some damn fool looks in the mirror." At first, I thought this was a statement about a mistake from lifetimes ago. Then, after a bit of remembering and research, I found that that Perseus slew Medusa by looking into a mirror so he would not be turned to stone in the process.

Then I found this on that bastion of truth, Wikipedia, "In most versions of the story, she was beheaded by the hero Perseus, who was sent to fetch her head by King Polydectes of Seriphos as a gift. With help from Athena and Hermes who supplied him with winged sandals, Hades' cap of invisibility, a sword, and a mirrored shield, he accomplished his quest." [My italics.] I had not known or had not remembered that it was Hermes that provided the mirrored shield. Perhaps, I too will benefit from divine aid as I take on this next challenge.

*Medusa isn't a goddess.

NSFW Mental Orgasm

My partner, Flower, and I called Hermes and the Helpful Deity last night. Most of the work involved Hermes aiding Flower in her personal growth. I will not comment on that.

At the end, I prayed to the Helpful Deity to expand my personality, to open my soul, to unify me with more of the universe. The prayer was uttered in an almost pleading style. After that, I am not fully sure what happened. I cannot say that I expanded nor can I say I had a greater awareness.

I can say that I stood there, hugging Flower, and had a ten minute mental orgasm. The pleasure was overwhelming. No physical emission occurred. Not to be too graphic but I did not even have an erection.

I vaguely recall a term for such a state of consciousness that may come from Yoga or Buddhism. If anyone knows that term, I'd appreciate being informed in the comment section.

Speaking of Success

Each Beltaine and Samhain I do a group divination for a Bakersfield Pagan Group. All during the ritual, I simply prayed to Hermes to say what they (or someone) needed to hear. At some point, I knew that I was to walk the circle as I talked and touch each member of the group. I wasn't sure why. Then I watched the person performing as May Queen do that and I realized I was the male counterpart to that. That told me I was on track for the evening.

When it came time for the divination, I spoke of the types of divination and how the divine could be found in all things. We can divine by cards, stones, runes etc or by watching a leaf fall. The same continuously unfolding pattern can be seen in everything as that pattern in, in a manner of speaking, everything. The card drawn was the Universe. It was very appropriate card to draw based upon what I had been saying. In fact, the real divination likely appeared before the card was drawn.

The real success was later. Naturally, all that praying brought me a little bit of Hermes. I could feel him softly. During the after party, I saw a face looking at me. It was more like a moon reflecting the light of the sun. I realized the beautiful and joyful gaze was not upon me but upon the divine force I was anchoring. Bringing the Divine to earth that others may witness and partake is truly the work of a successful magician.

Less Happy Things

On my way down to Bakersfield, I had to follow a hearse with a draped coffin inside. The gods do have a sense of humor don't they?

I learned today that a coworker's mate cancer has taken a turn for the worse. It doesn't look good.

It seems lessons on Death abound. I know in time I will be grateful for these lessons. Now, it is difficult. Though, even now, I can see how the Universe is weaving things together and it is awesome.

Different Lessons

Since my work walking the paths of the Tower, Death and Devil, I have noticed something. I've been continuously encountering other people acting out old attitudes of my own. Sometimes the behavior is quite poor. Other times, it is simply a reflection that I judge less harshly in others than in myself Still other times, it is a slap to the back of the head. "Do you understand NOW?" Other times I say, "That FUCKER" and then must, eventually, laugh at myself.

These are lessons that I thought I had learned. Maybe I did but now I need an external version or a different view. These lessons run through all the elemental grades and spirit too. The process can be difficult at times but it sure is fascinating all the time.

I do so love the theurgical aspect of the work.

Thank You to the United States Armed Forces! (Off Topic)

I would like to thank the brave men and women of the US Armed Forces for all they do on this their victorious day.

I would also like to pray that the counter-attacks that are most likely planned for this day are swiftly thwarted or repelled.

To anyone in the armed forces that read may this, thank you and I pray you stay safe.