Monday, April 27, 2015

Fresno PaganCon

I am putting on an event in Fresno. The convention will primarily be speakers. We only have one vendor.

This will take you to a list of speakers.

This is the main page.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015


“Every man has some reminiscences which he would not tell to everyone, but only to his friends. He has others which he would not reveal even to his friends, but only to himself, and that in secret. But finally there are still others which a man is even afraid to tell himself, and every decent man has a considerable number of such things stored away. That is, one can even say that the more decent he is, the greater the number of such things in his mind.” 
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

It is time you tell yourself.

Saturday, January 10, 2015


The adept's tipereth is solar power that allows the imposition of will. It also fosters such a light that others turn towards that light. This can manifest in service or a significant ego-challenge. 

The mage's tipereth allows one to live in complete innocence. 

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Lesser Key Work

I have been busy. I have instigated a lot of local pagan/magickal activity. Posting here has been sporadic. In large part, I simply do not feel like posting. There is now a better reason.

Not too long ago, I did some work out of the Lesser Key. I used my triangle ritual as a base and then called forth a daimon. The triangle ritual gets me so high that the daimon looked very small. The experience was not unlike looking at someone on the ground from a skyscraper. Seeing such a daimon as small, while true from one perspective, is misleading once one returns to consensus reality. The charge was simple. Remove any shell that hides or obscures my soul from myself and/or others. I had my ass kicked so hard that my asshole became my third eye.

I learned the following lessons:

1)      I need to stay fully present in the moment during every conversation I have no matter the form.
2)      I need to apply the same techniques in mundane life as my magickal. In short, in every situation my task is to ask “What do I need to hear?”
3)      I understand now, having learned of my own denial, how people can steadfastly deny the obvious.
4)      I understand now, having seen myself do it, how people can convince themselves of the rightness of their actions, even though they are obviously wrong.
5)      I understand now, having seen myself do it, how people can be abusive or less than helpful, while fully believing they are helping.
6)      I have been arrogant on a massive scale.
7)      Taking care of those you love is a willful 24/7 process.
8)      I am no longer perpetually angry, short tempered or confrontational.

The better reason for not posting is that speaking of the gods and the lessons they bring, feels like hubris. Who am I to say that any god or goddess knows of my existence? Even if I feel them and see their activity, speaking of such seems disrespectful.

On another note, this winter I have traveled several times to Tartarus. That has been quite terrifying, super cool, and educational.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Mage and Mystic

The magician imposes his/her will on the universe. We want something to happen, contact spirits or other forces and direct them towards our goals. This works.

The mystic receives information and responds accordingly. Asking, “What do I need to hear,” is a gentle approach and the universe responds in kind.

As a magician, I was taught to get rid of things that I do not need. This can bring about a desire to cling to old ways, attitudes and behaviors.

As a mystic, I learned to accept my virtues and enhance them. This allows that which I do not need to fall away naturally.

As a magician, I was able to manifest my desires.

As a mystic, I am able to be where I need to be and do what I need to do.

As a magician, I sought to learn.

As a mystic, I am.

This allows me to live the words we uttered when entering a Golden Dawn hall. “I seek to learn that I may serve.”

As a magician, one has to be a bit arrogant to think that one knows enough to impose upon the universe.

As a mystic, one has to be a bit humble to receive a deeper reality without trying to change it.

As a magician, my ego is served when I successfully impose my will.

As a mystic, my ego is not served when I hear what is necessary.

As a magician, I respect power.

As a mystic, I respect the universe and everything and everyone in it.

As a magician, I use the Qabala to project power even though Kaballah means ‘to receive’.

As a mystic, I use the Qabala to receive.

Now, as I magician, I no longer prompt the universe to create my desires but to take me along the path I need to be on.

Now, as a mystic, I accept, love and enjoy that path.

Now, I am a mage-mystic. Life is good. Life is simple. Life is happy. And, I am still learning.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Willing to Die

The first thing a drug addict, who has messed up her life, must do is give up drugs. In order to be successful, the part of the addict attached to the drug must die. The addict must be willing to let it die. Often in order to avoid drugs, so-called friends, beloved or not, cannot remain in the picture. Those friends would resurrect the dead parts and prevent the rise of the soul parts by their very presence alone.

Sometimes, we know what has to die. Sometimes, we don't. Sometimes, the divine kills a part of us. I think we can only do so much and once that is done, spirit steps in. 

Last night, the divine stepped in and killed various parts of me. This morning, I cannot think of a single person that I have ever met that I do not love. 

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Your Shells

Shells are comprised of that which traps you within your illusionary being. They are behaviors, the attitudes behind them and the energy of their origin. As a friend put it, they are the bars through which you see the world. What you see of that other side isn't a reflection of divine reality even though that is exactly what you are looking at. Shells are things that reflect the less than true self and all the energy you put in to your own suffering.  Shells are what traps you in hell.

It can be supposed that the shells are made up of bad things. I suppose that is true. When you see your shells you will not be surprised by the bad things you have done. After all, even though you deny them to others, you know. Deep down you know. You may be surprised by what is not there or at least relatively minor.  What will surprise you are the things you thought were right, okay or no big deal.

I asked you, dear reader, to consider that well.