Last Night, I went to a mindfulness class. We meditated in various forms for an hour or so. The instructor mentioned that it is helpful to watch your thoughts as an observer. I am not exactly sure how to do that but in trying I had an interesting experience.
The Agnostic that is doing the Manifestation Meditation (MM) is a near shut-in. She is a great human. I know her personally. She has a lot of emotional issues. In fact, it was these issues that brought her to perform the MM. Around 11 PM one night, I received a heart-breaking text message. "Help me," was all it said. That night, I taught her a mindfulness exercise and the next I taught her the MM. She did it that night and had several emotional epiphanies. Since, she has taken two concrete steps towards solving an issue and a host of little emotional steps as well.
In walking to lunch today, I was proud of her. She didn't stop doing the Work just because she emerged from her crisis like she has done in the past. I was fondly thinking of that when I decided to observe. I realized my warm fuzzy feelings were created by me taking credit for the MM and her progress. That realization dropped a veil. What I felt next was pure love. It wasn't the love of her personality, her progress or my efforts. It was a love for the Being behind her personality, the agnostic's awesome soul. This love I held for three or four minutes as I walked. It was truly a beautiful experience.
MM results
Today, I learned that My Gal and Flower both received official official start dates for their new jobs. Score two for the Meditation.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
A Practical Example of Soul Change
This post will focus on three parts of the soul. The Nepesch which is the expression of the drive for survival of the individual and the species. This is fight/flight and reproduction. The automatic personality which has to do with the programming we have either ingrained in ourselves or allowed to be ingrained. This is more like a computer. A given input results in a given output. This is where most of us are in day to day life. The automatic personality also holds our guilts, fears, and confusion. It's primary driver is the Nephesch. The third part is the Ruach. This is the real personality. It too can be out of balance but it is closer to who we really are than the first two even when it needs alignment.
When I experienced Divine Grace my automatic personality dropped off of me. Gone. Suffering only ends through understanding. In this case, it is the understanding that the concerns of the automatic personality were utter garbage, false and illusionary. It was in that moment I truly realized the potential of the human soul, life, and so much more. I was utterly clean. Perfect for just a moment. At utter peace. I experienced divine joy. There simply are not words for that. Sadly, the automatic personality does reform a bit but the primary driver is now the Ruach not the automatic personality. So, what is the difference?
In my case, my automatic personality (AP) created this odd behavior. If you told me you loved me and cared for me or worse complimented me, I had a tendency to distrust you. I walled off. If you did something to harm me, I would seek to understand and make really bad attempts to bring you closer by expressing my pain. This had to be instilled by emotionally withdrawn parenting. I see little reason to bore you with those details. During this time, my Ruach leaked through this AP and gave it a spin. Every little thing was about the spiritual and the need for spiritual growth.
This combination of being a bit whacked, in pain, and a sincere spiritual drive brought 'helpers' into my life. These people have a sincere desire or need to help people. Obviously, the first is better than the second if you're a helper. The problem was the behavior of these people, no matter how sincere, contributed to the aggressive nature of the AP. This formed the endless dynamic of the information game, which I have mentioned before. Unlike my first group, no one was trying to be mean. Everyone was trying to help. I was trying to learn but that dynamic was impossible!
Further, the frustration of that dynamic impacted me at work and in all other areas of my life. Just before my final meltdown other helpers appeared. These played the same game. "Oh, I can't tell you that."
Once the AP dropped and my Ruach became in charge, the first thing it did was manifest Geburah (Strength). The people that participated in that dynamic were ejected. When one lives within the AP, one attracts people that need whatever that energy is. They want to you to stay there regardless of what they sincerely say. They will only notice your growth with time and distance, if they even care to look.
After I moved on from them, others quickly took notice. I cannot read their minds but it is was if they said to themselves, "Robert is no longer playing the game. I value Robert because of X. If I want to keep that relationship, I cannot play the game even passively." Suddenly, I had more information about long past events than I had ever had. A flood gate opened. Understanding happened. Suffering ends with understanding.
Knowing what I now know, I am educating myself and my AP into different patterns of my choosing. When I am 'in the right place', I know it. There is no confusion. There is peace in the moment.
Dumping the AP and embracing the Ruach is a huge spiritual step for me. The battle was hard fought and painful but I came out on top. However, this is not the end. The personality needs balanced. Initially, this doesn't seem as hard as dealing with the AP but those may be words I have to swallow sideways. Beyond that, is LOVE. Divine. Less and less ego. That is where I am going. I am very very content to be where I am right now but that doesn't mean stagnation.
If I get there, it will not be from seeking. It will be from Being. Hence, I have begun mindfulness training.
Years ago I remember my former mentor telling me that adepts don't do magick, they are magick. I don't claim that title. My magick is in my Being. Hence the change to the header I made a few weeks ago.
When I experienced Divine Grace my automatic personality dropped off of me. Gone. Suffering only ends through understanding. In this case, it is the understanding that the concerns of the automatic personality were utter garbage, false and illusionary. It was in that moment I truly realized the potential of the human soul, life, and so much more. I was utterly clean. Perfect for just a moment. At utter peace. I experienced divine joy. There simply are not words for that. Sadly, the automatic personality does reform a bit but the primary driver is now the Ruach not the automatic personality. So, what is the difference?
In my case, my automatic personality (AP) created this odd behavior. If you told me you loved me and cared for me or worse complimented me, I had a tendency to distrust you. I walled off. If you did something to harm me, I would seek to understand and make really bad attempts to bring you closer by expressing my pain. This had to be instilled by emotionally withdrawn parenting. I see little reason to bore you with those details. During this time, my Ruach leaked through this AP and gave it a spin. Every little thing was about the spiritual and the need for spiritual growth.
This combination of being a bit whacked, in pain, and a sincere spiritual drive brought 'helpers' into my life. These people have a sincere desire or need to help people. Obviously, the first is better than the second if you're a helper. The problem was the behavior of these people, no matter how sincere, contributed to the aggressive nature of the AP. This formed the endless dynamic of the information game, which I have mentioned before. Unlike my first group, no one was trying to be mean. Everyone was trying to help. I was trying to learn but that dynamic was impossible!
Further, the frustration of that dynamic impacted me at work and in all other areas of my life. Just before my final meltdown other helpers appeared. These played the same game. "Oh, I can't tell you that."
Once the AP dropped and my Ruach became in charge, the first thing it did was manifest Geburah (Strength). The people that participated in that dynamic were ejected. When one lives within the AP, one attracts people that need whatever that energy is. They want to you to stay there regardless of what they sincerely say. They will only notice your growth with time and distance, if they even care to look.
After I moved on from them, others quickly took notice. I cannot read their minds but it is was if they said to themselves, "Robert is no longer playing the game. I value Robert because of X. If I want to keep that relationship, I cannot play the game even passively." Suddenly, I had more information about long past events than I had ever had. A flood gate opened. Understanding happened. Suffering ends with understanding.
Knowing what I now know, I am educating myself and my AP into different patterns of my choosing. When I am 'in the right place', I know it. There is no confusion. There is peace in the moment.
Dumping the AP and embracing the Ruach is a huge spiritual step for me. The battle was hard fought and painful but I came out on top. However, this is not the end. The personality needs balanced. Initially, this doesn't seem as hard as dealing with the AP but those may be words I have to swallow sideways. Beyond that, is LOVE. Divine. Less and less ego. That is where I am going. I am very very content to be where I am right now but that doesn't mean stagnation.
If I get there, it will not be from seeking. It will be from Being. Hence, I have begun mindfulness training.
Years ago I remember my former mentor telling me that adepts don't do magick, they are magick. I don't claim that title. My magick is in my Being. Hence the change to the header I made a few weeks ago.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
What Would A Church Look Like?
I am thinking of what a "church" would look like. I am more thinking out loud in hopes that people provide some insightful feedback. Which is a bit unfair given that I haven't fully revealed what the meditation is yet. Here are some of my principals of practice/teaching that may help.
I noticed in writing this that I am speaking as if this is going to happen. This too concerns me as the very idea is frightening to me. I do not think that overall religion has been of great value to the world.
1. I teach method not results. It is not my job to determine how anyone's soul manifests. This is the work of the student, not the teacher. I will not provide a 'right' answer to one's trials as doing so can be of no benefit. Nor will I lead students to those answers.
2. There is no degree system. However, I believe (at this time) the first accomplishment in the process is experiencing Divine Grace. This is the state of so reducing the automatic personality that one feels the love of the divine and of being 'clean'. One's life misdemeanors are no longer a burden and are but a memory without attachment as if they were read in a book rather than having power in the present.
3. The meditation is based on the Qabala but in a much simplified form. Any junior high school student could understand the concept.
4. Because the brain is not fully formed for long term thinking and a bit of life experience is required, generally speaking, I'd prefer people over the age of 25 participate.
5. My role would be more of a facilitator than a teacher with the exception of the basic facts of the meditation.
6. Given item 2, a ranking of achievement with the process would be self-declared. This is the ideal. In the real world, people deceive themselves and/or try to deceive others. I am not sure how to handle this or if I should simply ignore it. One method is to allow self-declaration up to a point and then determine that after a certain point something needs confirmed.
This results in some problems. First, the idea of my or anyone else conferring a title demarcating spiritual achievement is against my concept of the process and proper teaching. Secondly, I cannot conceive of any ranking system given I have only one definite marker of such achievement at this time. Thirdly, ranking in general doesn't sit right with me.
Maybe the rank of facilitator could be determined. If someone can lead the discussions and keep everyone on track without interfering in the process of others, one can earn that rank. This would be a form of service to others.
7. This is a spiritual practice, method, life style and world view. It could be practiced by any religion at all. Is it then correct to call it a church, temple or any other such thing?
8. I like Witch Doctor Joe's concept of a secondary tradition. His Veritas Wicca is an adjunct to whatever you practice. The Meditation is much like that as you can tell by item seven.
9. I have had solid success at healing others using the Meditation. I would like advanced practitioners to serve others in this way. That said, I am warned by Ram Daas's words. He posits that one's only duty is to work on the Self as when one achieves enlightenment we all do. So called helping others is an ego trip. There is something fundamentally right about that but then helping to reduce the suffering of others is a positive thing in my book. I am conflicted on this point.
10. I have witnessed that the lack of behavioral dogma in the Pagan community has done more harm than good. People's random behavior can be very hurtful as no one knows what to expect from anyone else. In part, this is because we are not fully realized human beings. In part, societies need some sort of structure. So do groups, churches and the like. That said, dogma is what makes many of the world's religions so harmful to the spirit.
I know the Bahai have a doctrine that says any dogma or practice of their religion should be abandonned if the government forbids it. This is an attempt to keep their religion politically non-threatening. Beautiful in principal but so far not helpful in the Middle East.
I do believe in a spiritual principal that says we are born into the culture we are for a reason. Therefore, those cultural rules, no matter how silly, are there to teach us. This is true whether we follow them or break them. I also believe that at times we must practice antinomianism. While the link mostly puts this in a religious context, I look at from a secular point of view. Sometimes breaking societal rules, with purpose, is instructional. For instance, it can clear the mind from prejudice about long-haired men, if a man intentional grows his hair to be more like those he dislikes. Well timed acts of antinomianism can be instructive for those that witness it too but the actor normally pays a high price for that.
Maybe some generalized rules are a good thing, if it is paired with antinomianism. I am torn on this issue.
11. It is my belief that those in charge should appoint someone they will listen too as an ombudsman for the group. That person's job is to hear complaints from those that cannot tell the leader directly and, if s/he feels they are justified, to pass them to the leader. In addition, that person's job is to call foul when s/he feels the leader has abused his or her authority within the system. If the organization is large enough, perhaps each leader should have two such people. One s/he selects and another elected. I think the reasons for that are obvious.
Those are my thoughts of the moment.
I noticed in writing this that I am speaking as if this is going to happen. This too concerns me as the very idea is frightening to me. I do not think that overall religion has been of great value to the world.
1. I teach method not results. It is not my job to determine how anyone's soul manifests. This is the work of the student, not the teacher. I will not provide a 'right' answer to one's trials as doing so can be of no benefit. Nor will I lead students to those answers.
2. There is no degree system. However, I believe (at this time) the first accomplishment in the process is experiencing Divine Grace. This is the state of so reducing the automatic personality that one feels the love of the divine and of being 'clean'. One's life misdemeanors are no longer a burden and are but a memory without attachment as if they were read in a book rather than having power in the present.
3. The meditation is based on the Qabala but in a much simplified form. Any junior high school student could understand the concept.
4. Because the brain is not fully formed for long term thinking and a bit of life experience is required, generally speaking, I'd prefer people over the age of 25 participate.
5. My role would be more of a facilitator than a teacher with the exception of the basic facts of the meditation.
6. Given item 2, a ranking of achievement with the process would be self-declared. This is the ideal. In the real world, people deceive themselves and/or try to deceive others. I am not sure how to handle this or if I should simply ignore it. One method is to allow self-declaration up to a point and then determine that after a certain point something needs confirmed.
This results in some problems. First, the idea of my or anyone else conferring a title demarcating spiritual achievement is against my concept of the process and proper teaching. Secondly, I cannot conceive of any ranking system given I have only one definite marker of such achievement at this time. Thirdly, ranking in general doesn't sit right with me.
Maybe the rank of facilitator could be determined. If someone can lead the discussions and keep everyone on track without interfering in the process of others, one can earn that rank. This would be a form of service to others.
7. This is a spiritual practice, method, life style and world view. It could be practiced by any religion at all. Is it then correct to call it a church, temple or any other such thing?
8. I like Witch Doctor Joe's concept of a secondary tradition. His Veritas Wicca is an adjunct to whatever you practice. The Meditation is much like that as you can tell by item seven.
9. I have had solid success at healing others using the Meditation. I would like advanced practitioners to serve others in this way. That said, I am warned by Ram Daas's words. He posits that one's only duty is to work on the Self as when one achieves enlightenment we all do. So called helping others is an ego trip. There is something fundamentally right about that but then helping to reduce the suffering of others is a positive thing in my book. I am conflicted on this point.
10. I have witnessed that the lack of behavioral dogma in the Pagan community has done more harm than good. People's random behavior can be very hurtful as no one knows what to expect from anyone else. In part, this is because we are not fully realized human beings. In part, societies need some sort of structure. So do groups, churches and the like. That said, dogma is what makes many of the world's religions so harmful to the spirit.
I know the Bahai have a doctrine that says any dogma or practice of their religion should be abandonned if the government forbids it. This is an attempt to keep their religion politically non-threatening. Beautiful in principal but so far not helpful in the Middle East.
I do believe in a spiritual principal that says we are born into the culture we are for a reason. Therefore, those cultural rules, no matter how silly, are there to teach us. This is true whether we follow them or break them. I also believe that at times we must practice antinomianism. While the link mostly puts this in a religious context, I look at from a secular point of view. Sometimes breaking societal rules, with purpose, is instructional. For instance, it can clear the mind from prejudice about long-haired men, if a man intentional grows his hair to be more like those he dislikes. Well timed acts of antinomianism can be instructive for those that witness it too but the actor normally pays a high price for that.
Maybe some generalized rules are a good thing, if it is paired with antinomianism. I am torn on this issue.
11. It is my belief that those in charge should appoint someone they will listen too as an ombudsman for the group. That person's job is to hear complaints from those that cannot tell the leader directly and, if s/he feels they are justified, to pass them to the leader. In addition, that person's job is to call foul when s/he feels the leader has abused his or her authority within the system. If the organization is large enough, perhaps each leader should have two such people. One s/he selects and another elected. I think the reasons for that are obvious.
Those are my thoughts of the moment.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
A New Church...Tell Me It Isn't So
Today, was quite odd.
I attended my niece's confirmation into the Catholic Church. Normally, I enjoy the energy the priests whip up but this time, there was very little. The spoke a bit about what Jesus said of the holy spirit. This really fit in with my philosophy, if you squint. I will look more into that.
My brother-in-law's sister's husband sat next to me. He is quite educated in Christian matters. I asked him about the meditation I developed and how it would be viewed by Christianity. He said that it is so far from the modern mindset that it isn't antithetical.
At the reception, I ran across a person I used to work with. She asked me what I did and I just came out with the fact that I was pagan, did Ceremonial Magick and was writing a book on meditation. This is a big deal for me to be that caviler about it. She is good friends with many people I still work with which could be a problem. Maybe. Maybe not.
Her response was great. She suggested places to go with regard to learning deeper forms of mindfulness in Fresno. We have read the same Buddhist books. I was pleasantly surprised. This may have been a result of last night's work. I tried to really get emotional about the goal of the meditation. I added a bit about receiving ideas from others.
Scary Moment
In church, I had a thump from my Immortal Soul. I know that it what it was but I'm waiting on this one. The message was that I need to start my own church. Yikes! I don't view the meditation as a religion at all. When I left the Golden Dawn groups I thought I was out of the woods as far as running a group. Running a GD-style group was something I didn't really want to do but felt obligated. So, I tried. Wrong.
This is an entirely different thing. Teaching the MM is scary because it works so very well. I am going to wait until I see some sort of direction before starting such a thing. If that is what I am supposed to do, it will take a while.
Cranky
I have fallen off the wagon a bit when it comes to eating better and eating organic. I have noticed I have become more cranky. I will go back to being a soldier for the cause and see if my crankiness abates.
Soul
I am developing ideas on how the Greater Neschemah (Immortal Soul), the Ruach (personality), Nephesch (animal soul) and the automatic personality work together. When I flush it out, I will post.
Blog
It is getting harder to pour effort into this space. Hence the reason my posts have been short and choppy of late. This is just likely a phase I am going through. I enjoy blogging.
Edit: It is likely that someone reading this post, will represent the 100,000 time that Doing Magick has been read.
I attended my niece's confirmation into the Catholic Church. Normally, I enjoy the energy the priests whip up but this time, there was very little. The spoke a bit about what Jesus said of the holy spirit. This really fit in with my philosophy, if you squint. I will look more into that.
My brother-in-law's sister's husband sat next to me. He is quite educated in Christian matters. I asked him about the meditation I developed and how it would be viewed by Christianity. He said that it is so far from the modern mindset that it isn't antithetical.
At the reception, I ran across a person I used to work with. She asked me what I did and I just came out with the fact that I was pagan, did Ceremonial Magick and was writing a book on meditation. This is a big deal for me to be that caviler about it. She is good friends with many people I still work with which could be a problem. Maybe. Maybe not.
Her response was great. She suggested places to go with regard to learning deeper forms of mindfulness in Fresno. We have read the same Buddhist books. I was pleasantly surprised. This may have been a result of last night's work. I tried to really get emotional about the goal of the meditation. I added a bit about receiving ideas from others.
Scary Moment
In church, I had a thump from my Immortal Soul. I know that it what it was but I'm waiting on this one. The message was that I need to start my own church. Yikes! I don't view the meditation as a religion at all. When I left the Golden Dawn groups I thought I was out of the woods as far as running a group. Running a GD-style group was something I didn't really want to do but felt obligated. So, I tried. Wrong.
This is an entirely different thing. Teaching the MM is scary because it works so very well. I am going to wait until I see some sort of direction before starting such a thing. If that is what I am supposed to do, it will take a while.
Cranky
I have fallen off the wagon a bit when it comes to eating better and eating organic. I have noticed I have become more cranky. I will go back to being a soldier for the cause and see if my crankiness abates.
Soul
I am developing ideas on how the Greater Neschemah (Immortal Soul), the Ruach (personality), Nephesch (animal soul) and the automatic personality work together. When I flush it out, I will post.
Blog
It is getting harder to pour effort into this space. Hence the reason my posts have been short and choppy of late. This is just likely a phase I am going through. I enjoy blogging.
Edit: It is likely that someone reading this post, will represent the 100,000 time that Doing Magick has been read.
Friday, March 16, 2012
F is for Fear: Pagan Blog Project
There is only one obstacle to spiritual growth, fear. I don't tend to wax poetic on the subject but just mention a few things.
The nephesch is the animal soul. Humans suffer, where other species do not, because we have a combination of spiritual and animal soul. The latter only knows personal and species survival. It is fight and flight and reproduction. That is all. Every experience you have is thus classified by this energetic near nightmare as an opportunity to have sex, life threatening or neutral. This is handy in a world full of saber toothed tigers, not so handy in the modern world, except sometimes.
In a modern world, we end up capturing our fear in the animal soul. Many of our actions are then dictated by the power these fears, often unconscious have over us. This is the sort of thing that cause people in happy marriages to have affairs as part of them thinks they must reproduce with a different partner to keep the species going or because it will make them feel young. Thus being further away from death.
This is more subtle. There are all sorts of behaviors we engage in that are secretly pandering to these fears. We drink. We argue. We engage in sex that makes us feel bad. We avoid work. We do too much work. We bond too deeply. We withhold our emotions. We stay unemployed, underemployed, or incorrectly employed. It shows up in many forms.
This fear is often coupled with guilt as we do things we should not and that are harmful to others based on these fears.
Once a spiritual person experiences the Grace of G-d, all these things fade away or are drastically reduced. Stepping past these fears is crucial to making any significant progress in this life. So how do you do that? There are many methods. There is no need for me to mention them hear. I am of the belief that most of them work.
What is needed above method, is attitude. A deep willingness to throw oneself upon the fire again and again until at least, one is freed from the burdens of fear. The desires mentioned below are those that pander to fear in one way or another.
If a man gives way to all his desires, or panders to them, there will be no inner struggle, in him, no 'friction' no fire. But if, for the sake of attaining a definite aim, he struggles with the desires that hinder him -- he will then create a fire which will gradually transform his inner world into a single whole -- Ouspensky, In Search of the Mircaulous
With this, we lose a large part of our negative foolishness. We become wiser and sovereign. But this is just the beginning of another journey, more fires and at length, true Love and Compassion.
The nephesch is the animal soul. Humans suffer, where other species do not, because we have a combination of spiritual and animal soul. The latter only knows personal and species survival. It is fight and flight and reproduction. That is all. Every experience you have is thus classified by this energetic near nightmare as an opportunity to have sex, life threatening or neutral. This is handy in a world full of saber toothed tigers, not so handy in the modern world, except sometimes.
In a modern world, we end up capturing our fear in the animal soul. Many of our actions are then dictated by the power these fears, often unconscious have over us. This is the sort of thing that cause people in happy marriages to have affairs as part of them thinks they must reproduce with a different partner to keep the species going or because it will make them feel young. Thus being further away from death.
This is more subtle. There are all sorts of behaviors we engage in that are secretly pandering to these fears. We drink. We argue. We engage in sex that makes us feel bad. We avoid work. We do too much work. We bond too deeply. We withhold our emotions. We stay unemployed, underemployed, or incorrectly employed. It shows up in many forms.
This fear is often coupled with guilt as we do things we should not and that are harmful to others based on these fears.
Once a spiritual person experiences the Grace of G-d, all these things fade away or are drastically reduced. Stepping past these fears is crucial to making any significant progress in this life. So how do you do that? There are many methods. There is no need for me to mention them hear. I am of the belief that most of them work.
What is needed above method, is attitude. A deep willingness to throw oneself upon the fire again and again until at least, one is freed from the burdens of fear. The desires mentioned below are those that pander to fear in one way or another.
If a man gives way to all his desires, or panders to them, there will be no inner struggle, in him, no 'friction' no fire. But if, for the sake of attaining a definite aim, he struggles with the desires that hinder him -- he will then create a fire which will gradually transform his inner world into a single whole -- Ouspensky, In Search of the Mircaulous
With this, we lose a large part of our negative foolishness. We become wiser and sovereign. But this is just the beginning of another journey, more fires and at length, true Love and Compassion.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Soul to Soul
For new readers, the following is a list of terms that apply to parts of the soul as qabalists see them. For more experienced readers, yes I know this is an incomplete list.
Soul Parts
Greater Neschemah -- Immortal Soul
Ruach -- Personality
Nephesch -- Animal Soul (fight/flight and reproduction)
G'uph -- physical body
So over the last month or so, as I am meditating, I have heard one level of my soul talking to another about the third. Heard. Apparently, they refer to my nephesch as a female. Who knew? "She will react this way." Those are the only words I can remember. I know I have heard several more full conversations but I am not even sure the content of those ever really registered in my brain.
As previously reported, I have a lot of dreams where I am very high up and afraid. I asked the Greater Neschemah about this and was told that I didn't need to approach It for that. I just needed to comfort my Nephesch. I did so. A very frightened image turned into an infant in my arms.
I have comforted this infant several times since. I have noticed no discernible difference in me or my dreams.
Successes!
Flower asked to do the Meditation to gain a position in her work place. Previously, her managment hadn't treated her all that well. She really wanted/needed that job because the hours allowed her more time with her child. She learned to "let go" of whatever she was holding onto about her employment. Today, she was told she got the job!
My Gal was going through her pre-employment physical and they found her blood pressure too high. She sent me a frantic text to help. I was out to lunch with my coworkers at the time but did the meditation for her right there at the time. Her blood pressure dropped and she passed that part of the exam.
Soul Parts
Greater Neschemah -- Immortal Soul
Ruach -- Personality
Nephesch -- Animal Soul (fight/flight and reproduction)
G'uph -- physical body
So over the last month or so, as I am meditating, I have heard one level of my soul talking to another about the third. Heard. Apparently, they refer to my nephesch as a female. Who knew? "She will react this way." Those are the only words I can remember. I know I have heard several more full conversations but I am not even sure the content of those ever really registered in my brain.
As previously reported, I have a lot of dreams where I am very high up and afraid. I asked the Greater Neschemah about this and was told that I didn't need to approach It for that. I just needed to comfort my Nephesch. I did so. A very frightened image turned into an infant in my arms.
I have comforted this infant several times since. I have noticed no discernible difference in me or my dreams.
Successes!
Flower asked to do the Meditation to gain a position in her work place. Previously, her managment hadn't treated her all that well. She really wanted/needed that job because the hours allowed her more time with her child. She learned to "let go" of whatever she was holding onto about her employment. Today, she was told she got the job!
My Gal was going through her pre-employment physical and they found her blood pressure too high. She sent me a frantic text to help. I was out to lunch with my coworkers at the time but did the meditation for her right there at the time. Her blood pressure dropped and she passed that part of the exam.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
More Meditating Experiments
I have trying to carefully test and work out the Manifestation Meditation. I am amazed at the variety of spiritual persuasions I have been provided. So far there is:
A long time ceremonial magician, myself.
A long time witch, Flower.
A long time Thelemite, My Gal.
A long time practitioner of Voodoo, Nutty. She has her own book called Black Magic.
A Christian.
A relatively new Paganish-type.
A agnostic that does not believe in magick in any form.
Curative Powers
I didn't post about this but six weeks ago, I was told by a doctor that I would need surgery. His exact words were, "Those do not heal." He gave me 30 days of medication to see if we could get things calmer before surgery. I would be out of work three weeks. Given that I was out five weeks with my back around December, this I did not need. I did the Manifestation Meditation and asked that I avoid surgery. Two weeks ago, I went back to the doctor. He was very pleased to tell me that I didn't need surgery. All is well. He didn't bat an eye at the healing. This doctor has been around for a while. I was impressed because he was so very pleased that I didn't need the surgery.
So, Flower asks, "Why don't you do it for your back?"
Fear. This has been so long a point of identity for me. What would I do if I was healed? What if the MM didn't work? Pshaw! I did that they other day. I will keep you posted. (insert a bunch of weasel words here about why it may not work and how that doesn't invalidate the MM).
A long time ceremonial magician, myself.
A long time witch, Flower.
A long time Thelemite, My Gal.
A long time practitioner of Voodoo, Nutty. She has her own book called Black Magic.
A Christian.
A relatively new Paganish-type.
A agnostic that does not believe in magick in any form.
Curative Powers
I didn't post about this but six weeks ago, I was told by a doctor that I would need surgery. His exact words were, "Those do not heal." He gave me 30 days of medication to see if we could get things calmer before surgery. I would be out of work three weeks. Given that I was out five weeks with my back around December, this I did not need. I did the Manifestation Meditation and asked that I avoid surgery. Two weeks ago, I went back to the doctor. He was very pleased to tell me that I didn't need surgery. All is well. He didn't bat an eye at the healing. This doctor has been around for a while. I was impressed because he was so very pleased that I didn't need the surgery.
So, Flower asks, "Why don't you do it for your back?"
Fear. This has been so long a point of identity for me. What would I do if I was healed? What if the MM didn't work? Pshaw! I did that they other day. I will keep you posted. (insert a bunch of weasel words here about why it may not work and how that doesn't invalidate the MM).
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