Active Participation

One of the things making it hard to write here is how simple it all is. Many of us use complicated systems like the Qabala or study ancient writings until our left eye falls out. Many of us become religious and put ourselves through all kinds of dogmatic restrictions. Worse, many of us get initiated into various orders, cults and social clubs. Then it gets really sticky. We start to bash each other with shouts of 'you are doing it wrong'.

Newsflash: YOU CANNOT DO IT WRONG

Yes you can accidentally kill yourself with magick or someone else or cause severe health problems because you have no idea what you're doing. You can appear to set yourself back years, a decade or a lifetime. The unfolding will happen no matter what silliness you engage in.

Why then do we do all these things? We do them for the joy of active participation in our unfolding. We do them because we are compelled to evolve now, no matter what the price. We do them because we are ready. There is no other answer.

Got My Ass Kicked

Last night, I did the Manifestation Meditation. Once again it organically evolved on its own. I experienced a download of power and a visual but I could tell they did not align. Today, I experienced that misalignment. I became Old Robert for about two hours. When that was done, I totally freaked out. How did I go back to that?

The upside is that I learned something important.

There is a part of my manifestation that cannot handle large inputs of spiritual energy. This is why my anger/frustration issues became more and more prominent as I grew more and more serious about my spiritual practice. This is hard to describe but the upper parts of my manifested self can handle the influx of energy. My body can as well but there is some part of me in between that cannot. When that is over-stimulated my emotions and my physical body react poorly.  This time, I could feel that part of me. I cannot name it and I do not have a direct solution yet but I am encouraged. This is the beginning of the final solution.

Obviously, I have come a long way and I am proud of that. Just as obviously, I am not done with this.

Do You Get It?

Screw trying to write well. In this mystic mindset, it is impossible. So here goes some random stuff that you can grok or not.

• Take all the intellectual games magicians play and use them for what they do not what they are. You can argue with others about Plato and Iamblichus all you want. You can say this 8th century dude said that and compare it to the 9th century dude's scribblings and state categorically how Hermes Cthonos was contacted back then.  Yes, it can seriously help. Are you thinking I am going to say it means nothing unless you do the magick? I am not going to say that because you already know that. The real point is you're doing qabala. You are looking for every bit of information you can find until all those bits and pieces cancel each other out. That is when you get it. Before that, it just sounds like you get it. After you get it, you still get to write books and impressive blog posts but now you get it. Getting it is what matters. 
• You know all that shit you've done wrong? The right is in the wrong. Wrong is simply right action misapplied.
• If you are doing magick in the silence of your life to impact other people, then 90% of the time, you don't get it. Every once in a while you have to back someone off aside from that... 
• Everyone is God.
• No one or nothing is less than anything else.
• A jerk is God cleverly disguised as an asshole.
• Stop sweating it, you are already doing it right.
• If you feel better when you make someone else look bad or they are looking bad all by themselves, you don't get it. 
• The difference between a magician and a mystic is that the former imposes his will on creation and the latter receives his will from creation. Receiving is SO MUCH EASIER. 
• You deserve it.
• Never let someone else create your emotions. It is a set-up! 
• For your own work, your own divination system works better than someone else's. The trick is you have to know how your universe is created first. The universe is truly a simply place. Stop over complicating it. 

T. Thorn Coyle and Lon DuQuette

I attended their class this weekend in Oakland, California. I have never attended a T. Thorn Coyle class before and I must say that I was impressed. She is on my recommended reading list for all aspiring magicians. 

Sharing their class information here is inappropriate. They should be paid for their hard work. The did record the class. So, expect an opportunity to hear it in the future. The six hour class cost a $100 and was worth every penny.

Notes:

I know my last post was pretty difficult to follow. I promise it made sense in my head when I posted it. I will try to revisit that one in the future.

For now, I am no where near the same guy I was when I started this blog. I am finding it more than difficult to write in this space. I am in a place of indwelling peace. I am still meditating and doing magick. Things are just very different. 

That Which Is

As you know, my ontological awareness consists of:

• the perfection of the unfolding
• continual creation
• the wholeness of all things

There is a difference between knowledge and awareness. With knowledge one reads about the labels other people assign to phenomenon and adopts them as their own. We then project that information onto the world making bold claims of our wisdom and perceptual abilities. This folly is a necessary step. 

I did this with the Tree of Life, describing events as being of Geburah, Chesed or Yesod. Further, I shared my 'wisdom' that this or that was of fire, water, air or earth. Still too I use this language for it is readily understood by those that share a path in part parallel to my own. These words exist to explain or deal with phenomenon.  In such both the description and resultant action are incomplete.

Awareness is to intuit the noumenon and to Be pure within it. Such states surpass the need to perceive, not only with the senses but with any part of human mind. Here exists spirit.  We can hold that the methods used by others to add meaning to earthly events by stating that an incident bestowed power and glory or defeat and expulsion as irrelevant politics. 

The politics of man is limited by the lower nature, which in turn is wholly confused for exalted spirit. So low are these games of ego that one cannot even say people worship the second father in ignorance of the first. Instead, at such times, we worship the orphan as its own parent.

To become a part of That Which is Itself for the briefest of moments destroys faith, as that too is an illusion of the heart. Faith though is much higher than the demigod bastard born of nothing but the illusion of personal import.  Being part of, destroys too the notion of the continuum of events (non-duality). Being part of, fully part of, if only for an instant, is to experience holiness. This not some pious show of the religious or spiritual peacock but instead a full moment experiencing the divine flow. 

The instant we label that experience with an emotion word, a sense of place or any other meaning, we step away only to long for a return, which is again failure. Success, victory, for lack of better words is one of a Spirit-awareness which exists on its own but is immediately veiled once the mind grasps for meaning. 

To remain in the experience is to be no longer of this world, no longer in this world, but instead to be of and with all worlds. 

So May it Be. 

Knife Fight

Peace is an odd thing. 

This morning, I awoke early and did the MM. I asked to be reminded of the unfolding perfection, perpetual creation and completeness. I was reminded of that all day. I remained calm, in place, perfect. People treated me differently in subtle ways. A meeting that was projected to be a angry disaster and to which I was seriously and explicitly invited as 'protection' and 'cover' occurred. Seating placed me between my friend and the dangerous fellow in attendance. Who said local government is boring? The meeting was calm, orderly, professional and everyone left friends. That is what happens when you bring Jupiter to a knife fight. 

I am now ill, running a fever but utterly content. I have not a single insecurity. My past exists but is irrelevant to this self. I am in love with everybody on the planet, including past enemies. Though, it is hard to remember what that really means. I feel good and happy while I am measurably sick. 

I love this state of Being.

Dream of Awareness

Normally, I do not receive a lot of information from dreams. Last night was different. I dreamed that I was doing a task and someone was watching me perform. It had the feel of a scientific study rather than a work one would do for a living. At some point, I approached a piece of modern wall art. It was a print of mostly white with abstract flashes of color. I colored in sections of it and highlighted other areas using orange, green and purple. These are the candle colors currently on my altar.

I became mad at myself for defacing someone else's art. I was particularly upset at the cost I would have to pay the owner of the art, but even more so, I was beside myself over the orange square I had drawn and colored in.

Upon waking I realized the art was the art of life and the orange came from Hod. I am thinking too much. I am projecting those thoughts too much. I simply need to live and do what I know I am supposed to do and let the rest unfold on its own.

Note to practitioners: This is the advantage of having an ontological viewpoint that isn't constantly changing in eclectic orgies of inclusion. My qabalistic colors are easily perceived by both my conscious and subconscious mind. They help me communicate with myself like this in both dreams and visions.