Dear What Few Readers I Have Left,
Thursday marked a new beginning.
I strongly believe that it is up to you to find your truth regardless of how others perceive their own truths. Teachers are great. They are usually sincere and relay their truths but they are not always correct within the universe of their students. The same can be said for books, spirits, and your friends. Truth is an odd thing. You rarely find the reality by looking for it and you never find it believing in someone else’s version. In my case, I simply led my life and found myself in the middle of my truth.
Let me first state this is my truth about this particular topic. It is not the answer to life, the universe and everything.
Wednesday night, I found myself in that odd waking/dream state where I was fully conscious but also fully optical. This was not a lucid dream but more of a dream that occurred when fully awake, a vision, if you will, but more on the lines of 'unusual otherworldly experience'.
I was surrounded by many small animals with sharp teeth. My wife was petting a dog whose hair stood up as if attached to scales that flipped up when he was defensive or aggressive. There were other creatures, small ferrets, rabbits, and a host of other animals with rows and rows of sharp teeth not characteristic of their breeds. I was curious but not afraid.
Relying on my old CM ways, I drew a banishing pentagram of earth. The scene changed to an African safari. There were lots of normal looking herbivores about. Unlike the last scene, which was pure darkness except for the animals, this was brightly lit.
I then mentally drew a banishing pentagram around myself as I lay in bed. Immediately, an angel appeared in a tree. It showed me how to pair opposites into a unifying response to the world. The important part wasn't that the message. It is that I listened to it without judgement or rejection. This allowed for the angel to tell me this. "Study the Lovers Card."
I woke up the next day and contemplated the The Lovers. She is about the universe of opposites and sits on the path between Tipereth and Binah. Combine that with the path of the Chariot and you wind up in the exalted grade of 8=3, Magister Templi.
I have been told that even 6=5 (Adeptus Major) and 7=4 (Adeptus Exemptus) were mythical and given out only as an honorific. Surely, I am not a 6=5 and definitely not a 7=4. I looked at the cards leading to 7=4 and causally noted that I had recently had experiences of all the paths leading to Chesed, the qabalistic sphere of the grade. Either I had walked the path of the Serpent of Brass, having all of the experiences but none of the spiritual understanding, or I had done much more than I had thought.
Immediately, I entered a mystic state. I walked the Halls of Jupiter, flew into Heaven (so peaceful that it borders on the boring), and saw Ganesha. The lesson, though no words were spoken, was self-love. I fully, at least in those moments, loved myself as I love my dear friends. Seeing any faults as part of a tapestry yet holding no judgments whatsoever. I learned that the judgement of others starts with the judgment of the self. To ascend to a state of love one must love oneself fully. I accepted this without false modesty and without arguing that self-love is arrogance. I am worthy of my own love.
I became aware that my hands had fallen into a mudra of self-love. I have no idea if this would be sanctioned by those that know the mudras well. I simply know it is my mudra. I changed my hand positions and felt a tangible change of energy with each one. Fascinating. As I experimented with hand positions, I looked down at my hand and found it stained blue, the color of Chesed. This was one of the strongest confirmations I have ever had. This was early morning (note the pajama pants). I had touched nothing that would have stained my hand.
All opposites are unified by love.
- Make self-love real in my everyday experience and let that manifest into purity of heart. This, I hypothesize, is the path of the Lovers.
- Walk the watery path of the Chariot, whatever that entails.
- Know that I already am that which I am