I have noticed in the past week many dreams where my dark side is being pointed out. I am not being provided any information that I am aware of as I know what my dark side is.
11/27/2016
Did a bit more formal work. This time I blessed myself with
water just dedicating it to Taliahad and fire just dedicated to Aral.
Upon
reaching Chesed I saw a humble gold crown. It was as if the crown was speaking. It told me that I had done well by doing the ritual given
how hard a day I have had. This work is getting me more psychically open and
the large family holiday event really got to me. I basically shut down. The
voice told me to continue doing what I am doing as it will get harder.
The crown then told me that most of my work is mental as
that was all I was capable of years ago when I summoned Geburah so frequently.
When I finished I immediately received a message of joy from
a friend referencing luck and water. Both of these are appropriate to the
working.
11/28/2016
I am feeling under pressure. There is no angst to it and
nothing external. I feel more like I am in a pressure cooker. (5:41 PM)
11/30/2016
I had a dream last night that felt very astral. As if
someone had come to speak with me in the dream world. I could not quite wake up
enough to have a conversation. Moon in Sagittarius.
Meditation tonight. It was reasonably good. Someone did get
up and I could feel the bubble of her energy passing around the bubble of my own.
I saw a strange red and white beast that may be my
accumulated fears of projection. I ignored it.
I had many visions of events from my past. No, more of
random minor players in life. Such thoughts are common in my mind over the last
few days.
12/1/2016
Performed CHesed Ritual. The crown again appeared. I asked
that the powers of Chesed balance the powers of Geburah that I may exhibit
strength without impotent martial anger and whatever other lessons you deem
fit. Immediately I heard, “There are many.” I repeated my request. I was told
that I am ready for these lessons but that from time to time I will still
bounce around the Tree of Life. I was given an olive branch with its green
leaves still upon it that was a long as the distance between my finger tips and
shoulder. “This means more than you know.”
12/2/2016
I meditated using the technique my wife taught me. That
basically has to do with grounding better beforehand. This felt much better and
I was able to hold the meditation much longer. I was prompted to do the Chesed
ritual as a meditational exercise. As I am writing this more than 24 hours
later I cannot recall what the crown said to me. I do recall in leaving Chesed
in Briah seeing a bright blue door above me that was obviously the entrance/exit
to that realm.
12/3/2016
I simply meditated using my wife’s technique. All I did was
stay grounded. I was able to hold the meditation for 40 minutes. This technique
holds a lot of promise for me.
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