The Story of Abraham

Last night was odd to say the least. I had many visions. All of these visions showed me how I am distracted from my work. They included like focusing on my mistakes, focusing on the mistakes of others, being unable to see past a crowd (culture-centric thinking). My mind was in such an altered stated that I cannot remember them all. The visions lasted hours. I do know without question that the ideas of have planted. They will come forth when I stray from the path.

I would have predicted my love of baseball would have appeared in a list like that. It did not.

I would not have predicted the spin on the story of Abraham (Genesis 22). As most know, Abraham was told by God to sacrifice his son. Then at the last minute and angel told him not to. Because Abraham was willing to obey and sacrifice his beloved and only son, God blessed him and his descendants. When you look at how Abrahamic religions have spread across the globe, it appears that God kept that promise.

It was revealed that I am in this state. My soul is being asked to sacrifice its only and beloved son, my personality.. That sacrifice is what I fear. This fear is understandable but I am going to make or allow that sacrifice anyway.

I am not saying that I am Abraham. Most of my work has been microcosmic in nature. I just know now there is an analogy with the story of Abraham.

I Am Afraid

I am not ashamed to admit that I am afraid.

Sometime in the near future, I am going to undergo a second awakening. I have no idea what that entails. I have some idea of how I will manifest, if I am successful in guiding myself through the process.

I am afraid of the sheer aloneness of the process. I am afraid my hard-won knowledge is false. I am afraid of nasty things inhabiting a nasty world and all my perceptions are part of one great cosmic joke. I am afraid of failing.

I am afraid like knowing your parents are about to bust you, afraid like that moment you are under arrest, afraid like going before the judge, afraid of the sentence, afraid of the bars as they clang shut behind you and reverberate through your soul, afraid of the lethal injection, hang man’s noose, electric chair. I am afraid like I just found out I was about to be homeless. I am afraid like I am going to embark on some Dresden Files epic battle armed only with David Copperfield magic wand set from Hasbro.  I am afraid like I am afraid of all these things at once.

That part of me that knows the Perfection of all things is still here. I know this is a truth in my universe. Yee, full knowledge of that will not stop that moment of fear as I fall of the ladder. I am willing to make a sacrifice for the chance of bringing something back.  

I am not walking away. Right now, fear is my companion. I do not like being afraid. 

Dignity -- Theurgic Lesser Key of Solomon

Some of the spirits of the Lesser Key have the ability to destroy dignity. Could you use those spirits to knock down a rival a few pegs? I suppose so.

There is a deeper place to go. A place few are willing to go. However, if you consider yourself a true spiritual person and you've done nothing like I am about to suggest, perhaps dignity is an issue.

We all do things we are not proud of. We all try to hide those from time to time. Sometimes we are successful and others never know. Very often people know what we've done. They either know from instinct or facts or from just knowing us. The problem with dignity is we assume we have it when all we have done is fool ourselves. All of we have done is deny ourselves self-knowledge. We have denied ourselves a true relationship with those we love. All by working so hard to maintain false dignity.

So conjure one of these spirits. Ask it to reveal not only to you but to the people that matter whatever you are hiding that is in the way of your spiritual growth.

Trust me. IT WILL SUCK. Long-term much will be gained. There is greater dignity in not hiding who you were. I said that in the past tense. For some odd reason, it truly does become who you were. You will no longer be false. You will be one step closer.

EDIT: After publishing this, I was filled by a sense of foreboding. This is not for the newby. This is for people that have done some solid theurgic work for some time. This is no place to start.