You can invoke all the gods you want and many spirits too but you always have to stay in control. There has to be enough 'you' left to be in control. Control, self-control, focus, purpose, this was the message but spoken and implied when I was learning magick.
I do not blog about it much but I do other things too. I have been introduced to more aboriginal things, nature things. There, I have found the experience is to lose yourself to have no self-identity. In that, one can experience the medicine* of nature.
It occurred to me this is what I did when I had my transformative experience, my inner initiation. Quite by accident, I lost all sense of self, had the experience, and came back to my self. Those moments changed my life. In that instant, I met all my known spiritual goals.
This stuff of killing the ego is misleading. You need that sense of the individual self to move about in this world. The process is more of setting it fully and completely aside for just an instant.
I think the next level is having another such moment but this time, it is losing the sense of other. I have all sorts of ideas about the lesson that may be learned from such a moment but I have learned over the years that such predictions are nearly always wrong. So, I will not fill your head with needless speculation.
If I manage to experience this, I will report here, if I can.
* I am not claiming to know about anything Native American when I use the term medicine. I am using that word to define that experience versus what the western magical experience.