Change

I can feel it. I have an opportunity to break out of me. There may be a method or methods but in truth they are not important. There is something else. I know not what. I know that I have had this opportunity before and missed it. Even if I miss this, it will come again and again.

Someone's Observation

I thought I'd share a quote today I found on a friend's Facebook page. I mention that so no one thinks I've read the work it comes from. I simply like the quote and have little else to say today.

The Beginner scorns criticism
The wise soul carefully weighs it.
And the Master says, "But, of course!"

-- TUT - A Note from the Universe

Recapitulation

My current work has not been directly magickal. However, magickal and alchemical lessons abound. This is the lazy man's way to learn!

I have been recapitulating many of my elemental lessons. The odd part is that the lessons can come with me on either side of a given issue. Usually I have found the shoe to be on the other foot. For instance, way back when I was hot on the topic of antinomianism*. This is defined as being opposed to or denying the fixed meaning or universal application of moral law and was made famous by Martin Luther. In magickal work, it involves doing something against what you have programmed yourself, or been programmed, to do or believe. This can be a man having sex with an ugly woman because he's been told that ugly woman are unacceptable, a woman being aggressive because she had been taught to demur or in my case, getting a tattoo. For some reason, I thought only wild people or criminals had them.

My act of antinomianism did double duty. I also wanted to demonstrate my discipline by not telling anyone of my new tattoo. It turned out that circumstances compelled me to take one person into confidence just after the outline had been done. However, I kept it secret from everyone else for a couple of months after all the colorful ink had been applied. Once people found out, a good friend was hurt by my secret keeping. I took that to mean that people we are close to really do want to know what is going on in our lives. Sharing such major decisions aids in maintaining the mutual bond of friendship.

This weekend my woman friend (The Gentle Soul), Lon DuQuette and I had a blast at the Huntington and a Dodger game. Upon my return, I found a Facebook post from my mentor. He had gotten married! The news was a shock. He and his partner have been together so long I never thought marriage was being considered. His Facebook post added pictures of a party which it pulled in from his gallery.

My first impression was that he got married, invited people to celebrate, invited friends but never told me. I was a bit hurt and even a little angry. Someone important to me had not informed me of his major life decisions! Sound familiar? I experienced the same thing my friend had gone through.

It turns out he proposed to her on Saturday and they were married six hours later. No one knew in advance. I felt a bit foolish for being hurt.

* If you are interested in exploring antinomianism, I recommend Christopher Hyatt's Undoing Yourself. If you do everything he suggests and find yourself in Fresno, I will buy you lunch. No one does everything. It is HARD. The book, though, is full of great ideas such as face the other way in an elevator and start conversations with the other passengers.  If you're mean, be kind to everyone all day. If you're kind, yell at everyone all day. If you're a wacko magician like myself, wear mismatched socks to work one day.

(The Next Post is will be more personal about my trip with the Gentle Soul and Lon.)

Question for Qabalists

Does anyone know why the passwords of the Sephiroth are three-fold, 111, 222, 333 etc. when there are four qabalistic worlds? Could it be that the three digit password is associated with their triangle of origin (i.e. supernal, ethical, etc.?

Results of Prayer

Last night, I prayed to Hermes. I asked him, as per usual but always in spontaneous words, to link me to the greater universe, expose me to a facet of the whole, connect me with something more.

A bit later, I checked my email before going to sleep. A friend sent an email about the same time I was praying. It was kindly, loving and pointed me in a new direction. If nothing else, I was immediately connected to love. Yet, I feel the email pointed me to a place I must explore.

He sent me to the Orphic Hymms, specifically the Hymm of Memory.

Oh Father! Why Do I Sin?

Sin to me is anything that I do that creates the illusion of separation between me and the divine.* One cannot be truly separated. We are the whole. Humanness seems to create the illusion of the individual. I view as virtues those things that aid in revealing that connection and oneness.

A virtue that I like to practice is prayer. I love to pray in a focused and emotional way. I feel close to the gods and the All. The gods do respond. Yet, I forget to pray. I want to pray each morning and each night. I want to make it a continual devotion and expand my perception of the wholeness of all beings. I wish to serve more diligently. Prayer can achieve these things for me. And knowing this, I do not pray.

Perhaps, I am afraid of the response. I receive communication through the workings of the universe each time I pray. I fear. The fear manifests as forgetfulness. The fear manifests in the not-doing, in the not-living, in the sleeping and non-awakening.

*I do not believe in sin. I simply have no other word for the concept I am trying to share.

Dreams

I have noticed that my dreaming patterns have changed. I have one repeating dream that results in a fear reaction. That fear reaction showed me how far I am away from the path of Samekh. That dream now results in excitement mixed with only a small tinge of fear rather than being completely scary.

Other random dream situations that would have resulted in a fear reaction no longer do. For instance, the night before last, I dreamed a few nuclear weapons had gone off and more were expected. There was no fear. I was with friends. We did our best to react smoothly to the changing situation but we did not fear.

Another theme that is occurring more and more often is dreaming of being with magicians of some skill/reputation. Last night, it was my former coven leader, John Michael Greer and Don Michael Kraig. Other times it has been other folks including my mentor and ancient Japanese mages whose names I do not know etc.