Given my recent mental/emotional state, my mentor has advised me to back off of magick for a while. Aside from some basic exercises, due diligence and my Greek work, I am going to follow that advice.
This will be difficult. I love magick. I love it more now that my focus is damn good. As my mentor keeps saying, and I keep repeating, I am monk-like in my devotion. Stopping will be an act of discipline but I will be the first to admit that I need to give my various bodies a break. I am not sure how long I will hold off. I think that is a decision best determined by how I feel.
This space will still be active as what I do to distract myself during this time may be revealing. How my various bodies spiritual, mental, emotional and physical react and change will be recorded. My attempts to be very present and in the now will also be written about.
I do want to state that I've been feeling much better since the weekend. Also, I have some healing meditations that I have been doing that are quite successful. I am not blogging on those because that is way too personal. Most of you know by now that such statements really mean, "I am not ready to share yet." Most everything gets in here sooner or later.
I have been impressed by the numbers of people that have shown concern for me during this period. Even when I have 'acted out' most of my friends have stuck with me. Some more than others. Some have surprised me by their love and caring. A couple have disappointed but overall I am a lucky guy. This is in stark contrast to how abandoned I was during my first huge crisis all those years ago. I suppose that is a huge improvement. I am associating with a much better cadre of friends now than then.