I have suddenly realized that I am allowing myself to be human. In the past, I fought every single fault that I recognized. Some I have fought with success, others less so. I took every criticism to heart and very few compliments were accepted as factual. Both of those things are signs of distrust. The first was distrust of myself. The second distrust of others.
There is something that happens in the workings of spirit that solidifies the workings in the the elements. It was in working in air that I realized something along the lines of "It is what it is." There is an "isness" to things that is not to be judged, merely recognized. This was an exciting discovery for me. I worked on manifesting this knowledge to a deeper soul level. For a short time, I succeeded. Over the long term, I did not.
Now, it is different. People can say unflattering things to me and I can honor them as their perspective. I can agree or disagree internally but they cause no wounds. People can compliment me and I can accept those as their honest perspective but they cause little ego inflation. I can see disfunction and not need to validate myself by trying to fix it. I can see joy and not insert myself until asked but share in the happiness nonetheless.
There is a freedom in seeing one's faults clearly but not viewing them as a basic corruption of the soul and sharing the joy of others. Instead, I see these things as markers on the journey. I see the compliments the same way.
The other day, I posted that I saw myself for the first time as healthy mentally, emotionally and physically. I think that feeling was the result of living within the ideas presented above, even though I did not fully realize this had happened.
For me, this is a long term success of theurgy. I'd rather have this than a million dollars. Not that I would eschew the opportunity to be more financially rich.
Speaking of which, I have Jason Miller's wealth talisman. Someone that I respect that has done much better financially than I, with basically the same opportunity, presented a financial idea. The idea, coming from someone so successful, has great appeal. I am seriously considering acting on it. While it isn't some wild scheme, it does present a significant risk. SIGNIFICANT. There is also a good upside. Like all things magickal, I will try to prepare to take advantage of it while waiting for something to confirm.