My father passed over today suddenly. While he was well past seventy, a long time diabetic and obviously in decline, it was quite a shock. He probably suffered a heart attack or stroke. I will eulogize him in this space sometime in the near future.
When I heard the news, I was calm and fine. By the time I got home from work, I was not. It was a bit hard to keep it together. However, I knew I had family to see. Showing up as a mess would not have served them well. So, I fixed it.
I popped into my temple room, did the LBRP, the BRH and the called up upon the god name of Geburah and asked for strength, not severity. I asked that I be given the strength to serve my family. I called the angel and before I could ask for that, he told me to call the hierarchy of Chesed as well. After the angel, I called the choir.
The god-name resonated in my head, the angel in my torso, and the choir around my waste to my legs like a skirt.
I called upon the hierarchy of Chesed and asked to be shown what form of mercy each person needed. I experienced the same sensations in my body.
Oddly, the day went much better than one should expect. We spent a lot of time laughing. I do have the ability to be comic relief but I wasn’t the only one.
At one point, I felt the spirit of my father. He was gloriously excited. He was amazed that ‘"you folks were right", meaning he was still aware. he didn't believe in an after life. He was thrilled that he could see, “it is so bright here. Dad I can see!” Then he told me all of this doesn’t matter. Death doesn’t matter at all. "Next time around, I will be your son."
He could tell I was going to take some of his grave dirt for use in protecting my home. I told him it was traditional to leave an offering and I wasn’t about to leave him alcohol. He didn’t drink after an incident involving Peppermint Schnapps in his twenties. He asked me to leave a baseball, as it always reminded him of me. It had to be used one.
I will do that, Dad. I will do that.