Sunday, May 3, 2009

There is Something Different Now

On Saturday, April 25, I posted this

I suddenly realized that I felt like I've always wanted to. When, as a new magician, I said I sought spirit, I was looking for a feeling. I know several people that have radiated externally how I've always wanted to feel internally. Those folks are my mentor, someone that I can not name here and My Gal's mentor. I felt it from Jason Miller as well. Today, for the first time, I felt that within. I've been looking for that for over twenty years.

I have felt that way at least once a day ever since.

Today, I felt that feeling of spirit most, if not all of the day. I pruned trees as we are replacing a fence between my neighbor's home and my own. Even during that process, I felt it. I meditated. I chatted on IM. I used the commode. I ate. I lit a candle for a friend having a hard time.  All through the day, I felt the feeling of spirit. 

It has been a pattern throughout my magickal career that I'd have a flash of being on a new plateau only to fall back and have to work to get there again. I suspected the same with this feeling. Yet, it only seems to grow. It is nice to finally be here, where I have sought to be for a very long time. 

The trigger for me was making offerings. I had not done that as part of my practice before, now it is a daily activity. Sometimes, it is several times a day as the mood strikes.  Just to know it is possible to feel this way is wonderful. To know, it is simply one more beginning is awesome -- in a very quiet sort of way. 

Blessings.

1 comment:

Father Tim Mansfield said...

Frater,

First, yay. That really sounds like a wonderful phase to be in, however long it lasts (may it be long :)).

Second, could you explain in a bit more detail how one makes offerings. I read your blog entry on it about drawing up Earth and offering it to the spirits, could you say more?

Thanks as always for the effort you put into documenting your journey and inspiring the rest of us.

Tim+